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Military Families
WWYD: deployment opportunity
Baby Boy is due 29 Oct. DH and I are dual military and he has the opportunity to deploy for 240 days, we just don't know the dates. He has never had the opportunity to deploy before and I have. I think it's an important experience for him to have.
I think if the deployment is after Jan that he should volunteer (no guarantee that he would actually go at this point). He didn't think I would want him to deploy during the first year after Baby Boy arrives. Im wondering if it would be easier for him to deploy earlier during Baby Boy's life or later.
So, what do you think?
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Re: WWYD: deployment opportunity
I think its totally up to your personal preference. For me, I would prefer DH to deploy earlier in the childs life. If he is able to deploy after the first of the year, that will give him a few months to bond with the baby and then your husband should be home just after his first birthday. As long as you feel you have adequate emotional support during the first year, I would just have him get deploying over with as soon as possible. With Skype and all the technology these days, hopefully it will make it a lot easier on you, your DH and baby boy. Army wives have babies during all seasons of deployments, so enjoy the advantage of knowing that DH will be able to be here for the birth and a few months after! ;-)
Personally...if you have the option to deploy or not, I'd chose not. I know these 2 deployments have been hard on us and its just the two of us, I'd never want him to volunteer to deploy, nor would he want to, after we had a baby. I guess some would depend on to where, and what the circumstances were, but after one 14 month deployment to Iraq, and this 12ish month one to Afghanistan, if we never did it again it would be too soon.
I guess if DH had to, but could chose when, it would be a catch 22. I wouldn't want to be left alone with a newborn, but I also wouldn't want to have to deal with a young child crying and missing daddy either.
I think its highly personal and something you will have to mull over and pray about (if you pray).
Lots of thoughts and prayers headed your way!
Him being gone their first year would have been extremely difficult on me.
Him being gone now is a little easier on me because they're more independent now. BUT it is HELL on them. I hate it for them. They miss him so much more than I thought they would.
I don't really think there is a good time to deploy with kids. No matter when it's going to be hell on someone, and he's going to miss a lot of stuff.
Ditto, ditto, ditto to this. I feel like deployment with an older kid is easier on me than it would have been with an infant (and I'll be experiencing both in around 7.5 weeks) but it's been difficult for LittleL to adjust to Daddy's absence. For his sake, I wish this deployment had happened when he was smaller. That said, no two families are exactly the same, and you need to make the decision that you think will be right for yours and yours alone.
Like the others have said it's a very personal decision. We didn't TTC before my DH's deployment because he doesn't want to miss all the firsts. If your DH deploys shortly after your LO is born, you will be telling him about all the firsts and he will be missing them. That might take a lot out of him emotionally. We have an 8-year-old and when he started writing in cursive, it upset my DH that he wasn't here to see it in person. So we know that missing all the stuff with a new born would be hard.
It's never easy to deploy with kids. DH would never volunteer to go, but if that's something you and your DH want for his military career, be sure to think it through. Good luck!