Need opinions here please..

purplemag · September 2010

It's looking like I am going to have to labor by myself, because we have no one to watch DD. DH's ex-wife offered to take her, along with the s-kids..but I just don't feel comfortable with it. She has 3, under 2yrs, as it is. Then to top it off with her other two (my step kids), she would have her plate full as it is (total of 5 to keep an eye on). Besides the fact that I don't trust her with her own kids, including my step kids..let alone my daughter. Should I just let it go, so I can have DH at the hospital with me, or should I just plan on doing this by myself? What are your thoughts?

Soap1 · September 2010

I agree with the pp about looking into a friend or a sitter or something. If that really isn't an option, maybe you could consider hiring a doula to get you through labor? I really think you might regret not having DH there when the new baby is born though!

saturdaynightdoubletree · September 2010

What seems worse? Leaving your kids with her, or pushing out a baby with a bunch of awesome nurses without DH? I'm having the same problem right now with DD... if I happen to go deliver on a weekend or after DC hours, I have nobody to watch her. DH helped so much during her delivery I can't imagine not having him with me... Tongue Tied I'm starting to interview babysitters... hoping they will be available whenever it is that I have this baby.

Sorry I'm no help. Good luck!

purplemag · September 2010

amy052006:
Is this really the only option? No friends? No sitter? Nothing?
I mean, in my kid free days I may not have been the best baby sitter in the world, but I could handle helping out a friend so her husband didn't miss labor.

My mother was suppose to do it for us, but that ended up falling through. (huge argument that has lead to us not speaking, and she won't return my phone calls) As for friends, not really an option either. The ones we could ask have their hands full with their own family, and the rest are single and would know the first thing to do for DD. Never used a sitter. It sucks!

BecExpecting · September 2010

LET IT GO. Don't deny your husband the opportunity to be present at the birth of his child, because you don't feel entirely comfortable with the ex-wife. If you're worried about her taking care of 5 kids on her own, start interviewing babysitters that can help her out while you're laboring.

purplemag · September 2010

Soap1:
I agree with the pp about looking into a friend or a sitter or something. If that really isn't an option, maybe you could consider hiring a doula to get you through labor? I really think you might regret not having DH there when the new baby is born though!

The thought of DH not being there makes me feel like crying. It's like I told him, I didn't make the baby on my own..I shouldn't have to do it on my own. I guess I need to look more into a sitter of some sort, or just deal with the ex taking her. Oh how I hate this!!

purplemag · September 2010

BecExpecting:
LET IT GO. Don't deny your husband the opportunity to be present at the birth of his child, because you don't feel entirely comfortable with the ex-wife. If you're worried about her taking care of 5 kids on her own, start interviewing babysitters that can help her out while you're laboring.

I wouldn't dream of denying him of this special moment..he feels the same way about his ex. Your idea of a sitter to help her out, I hadn't thought of that one. Thank you for the idea!

tledwards200 · September 2010

If you don't even trust her with her own kids, I'd say no since it will only make you worry. I say try asking one of your single/non-parent friends that you trust, they might surprise you. While they may not have the most experience with kids, at least you'll know that your DD is with someone that will keep her safe and have her best interests in mind.

trinadesrosiers · September 2010

amy052006:
purplemag:
amy052006:

Is this really the only option? No friends? No sitter? Nothing?

I mean, in my kid free days I may not have been the best baby sitter in the world, but I could handle helping out a friend so her husband didn't miss labor.

My mother was suppose to do it for us, but that ended up falling through. (huge argument that has lead to us not speaking, and she won't return my phone calls) As for friends, not really an option either. The ones we could ask have their hands full with their own family, and the rest are single and would know the first thing to do for DD. Never used a sitter. It sucks!

You need to get a grip. A single adult can keep a kid alive for 24 hours or so. It really isn't rocket science. And even people with kids can throw another one into the mix for a day or two. That is all you really need.

wow, this! Taking care of a few kids is not that hard, even if you are single and pretty unintelligent frankly. split the kids up let them stay with different friends or something. There HAS to be some other alternative.

purplemag · September 2010

Thanks for all the input and ideas ladies. It really is appreciated!!

locash · September 2010

Definitely have more faith in your friends. My H and I watched my nephews while my sister gave birth. And that was long before we were even married and we were all perfectly fine (and we had two under 4 to watch). And once the baby is born, he can be home with the DD while you and baby recover at the hospital.

I'm sure it will all work out.

purplemag · September 2010

locash:
Definitely have more faith in your friends. My H and I watched my nephews while my sister gave birth. And that was long before we were even married and we were all perfectly fine (and we had two under 4 to watch). And once the baby is born, he can be home with the DD while you and baby recover at the hospital.

I'm sure it will all work out.

This is what we are planning anyways. I am SAHM, so I can't imagine being away from DD for too long anyways. Thank you!

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