today is my bday...
...and i seem to be waiting and waiting forever to be a mom. one of my best friends ( i basically keep in touch w/ friends through email after this nightmare) told me that my goddaughter and her sister are now 6 and 9. i was just recently married when she had her now 6 year old and i vividly remember visiting her in the hospital to see the baby. i have already been married over 6 years and nothing to show for all my efforts in trying to be a mom and today i turned 44 years old.
i don't want to hear that once i adopt everything will get better or that i will adopt and it will happen. i am really hoping that this will be the year, but i will regret being an older mom and i have regretted so much that i have missed these past 6 years.
thanks for listening. i know have so many other gifts that i've been blessed with in my life, but loss of children in my life is just a constant void and i can't help but just cry today. my dh is so wonderful and bought me flowers and cheesecake. i just have lots of healing to do...
excuse my rambling, but it's hard not to ponder on what you've accomplished on your bday and get emotional...
Re: today is my bday...
So sorry you are feeling down. I wish I had words of wisdom but I don't.
Hang in there....
thinking of you today, my dear S!! (((((((((hugs)))))))))))
I really appreciate your responses. They mean so much to me. I know I'm not the most positive person and probably too emotional at times, but, hey, that's me.