Anyone planning on being a SAHM??

AmyNicole622 · September 2010

I feel very lucky to have the option of working or staying home. I planned to work only one day a week while my SIL watches LO but we just found out that she is also expecting... her 5th!! So I'm not sure what to do now... I really think even one day a week is going to be too much for her.. (She has a 15, 12, 2 & 3 yr old... plus a new baby)

Are you exciting about staying home? Do you think it's important to have some "adult time" outside the house? What's your situation?

skio · September 2010

I would love to be a SAHM, at least until our kids got into school full time. But it's not an option for us financially.

I do plan on leaving my current job in NYC and getting a P/T job closer to home. Right now, I spend 3-4 hours per day commuting. Which makes my days 12+ hours. I don't want to be the mom that's never home, so I will not be doing this once baby comes.

As far as adult time, yes, I do think it's important. DH and I plan to have date nights away from the baby and I plan to still do my Yoga classes and hopefully meet with friends here and there. We'll see how it all ends up!

KK1974 · September 2010

That's great that you'll be staying home. I would like to but may not be able to do that. If you are going to stay home, I do recommend you have adult time and even your own time. You are still you but now you have the hat of a mom.. I see moms in my private practice and some are very hurt that their babies are all grown up and don't want much to do with them ... so,, have adult time,, you'll be healthier for you and for your baby.

AmyNicole622 · September 2010

WOW.. just reading that makes me tired! That's wonderful you're able to find something closer to home and part time!

skio:
I would love to be a SAHM, at least until our kids got into school full time. But it's not an option for us financially.

I do plan on leaving my current job in NYC and getting a P/T job closer to home. Right now, I spend 3-4 hours per day commuting. Which makes my days 12+ hours. I don't want to be the mom that's never home, so I will not be doing this once baby comes.

As far as adult time, yes, I do think it's important. DH and I plan to have date nights away from the baby and I plan to still do my Yoga classes and hopefully meet with friends here and there. We'll see how it all ends up!

Brit242 · September 2010

I'm going to be a SAHM. I'm a SAHW now so not much is changing except for the fact that I'll be less bored during the day. My husband and I do plan on one a week date nights, sometimes with and sometimes without LO.

wlknsnlrn · September 2010

I plan on being a SAHM. I have told my boss so I can train someone for my position before I leave. When we want couple time or I need some time alone I can ask my dad, MIL, sister, or one of the many grandparents we have in our town.

Klmorgan83 · September 2010

I work part-time and for me it's the best of both worlds. I work 40 hours every 2 weeks. It gives me plenty of time at home with DS, but also gives me some much needed adult time. It's definitely been an adjustment financially, but we make it work and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Rindesai · September 2010

I wanna be a SAHM sooooooo bad! My bf and I talk about it all the time. I wanna finish school so I have something to fall back on, and he knows he would really have to step up. So, we'll see where it goes, I know I'll be at home the first 6 months at least though!

lindzloo22 · September 2010

DH and I are both stay at home parents! We are fortunate enough to not have to work outside the home! However, it does get a little crazy being together all the time and also with DD. It has been nice being pregnant and able to stay home because I have been really sick and unable to do much!

We do have my in-laws at our beck and call if we ever need them! They live next door and are always willing to watch DD anytime (they are retired). DH and I have date night and that is the extent of our "adult time". We plan on putting DD in a mother's day out program before the new baby gets here so that she has her own escape from the house!

chary412 · September 2010

I'm going to be a SAHM for sure, and a SAHW for the 3rd tri. What's cool is that DH works from home, so we'll actually both be here all day... but obviously we'll have to work that out so he can actually work, he spends a lot of time in meetings and such. He's been making noises lately about taking over our very nice finished basement if/when our tenant ever moves out and turning it into an office/"man cave", so that would probably work until the kiddos figure out how to reach him down there.

I'm hoping to be out of the house a lot, there's a ton of great museums/play areas/zoo/etc around here. Hopefully I'll have the energy, it's hard to imagine right now!

HoolahZinger · September 2010

We have decided that I will be a SAHM and we both couldn't be happier! We have learned how to budget early on in life so we know how to be able to live comfortably without feeling like we are slaves to work. Sure it wont bring in the money bags but then again, I find it silly the moms out there who bring in money JUST to pay for childcare. But I know not all working moms are that way. I have a degree so I have the option of going back when the child may be older...or maybe I could do something from home but I can't wait to be able to be there to see all the amazing milestones! And I for sure am going to plan for some adult time...otherwise I'd go mental. There needs to be some balance!

Green*Flamingo · September 2010

I am!!

DH and I are both Army, so we decided one of us needs to go. His 12 years in beats out my 5 years...so SAHM it is. We will see how bored I am after a year.

chicsub · September 2010

We were both WAH when DS was born since we both owned our own businesses. It was nice having DH around, but got hard when there were client calls b/c our house isn't huge. I ended up selling my business and luckily DH got an office in the city. I really enjoyed all the time we had together that first year, but it is nice being a SAHM and being able to dictate my days with DS (no worrying about calls and temper tantrums during naps, etc.).

I was doing really well with getting out or at least to the gym by myself or out with friends at night. Lately, I have slacked and DH and I are in the process of getting a babysitter since we don't have family nearby. Our date nights have only happened if my mom watches DS and she lives 2 hours away and I feel guilty asking for her help, even though I know she's fine with it. The babysitter is also going to come a couple hours during the week so I can run errands by myself or head to the gym, etc.

EMarberry · September 2010

I'm a SAHW atm and will be a SAHM. I think it's very important to still be husband and wife regardless of of being parents or pregnant (I'm sure that's easy to say now before I have kids). Since we just moved to the DC area, away from both of our families, I'm a little worried about where to find a sitter when the time comes. How do you find someone you can trust?

YouandMe912 · September 2010

I will be a SAHM eventually but once the baby is born, I'll be bringing him/her with me while I nanny. It's going to feel just about the same minus the fact that I wont have as much time to get stuff done at my house. I'm at the house I nanny for for a total of 4 more years including this year. Once the youngest is in school full time, I will be home from then on.

mrsbmw09 · September 2010

I work full time from home and luckily my job isn't all that demanding, so I'll be able to continue working from home with the baby. Eventually I would like to be a SAHM, it's just not realistic right now. My DH is in a field where he will be able to support the family without my income in a couple of years.

Spin313 · September 2010

I am a SAHM and 98% of the time I adore it. I wouldn't trade it...it's been so amazing to have this time with my son (and soon the new baby). For me, having a wonderful supportive group of mom friends is key. We do playdates and "field trips" with the kids, and we do mom nights out for us.

aktemple · September 2010

I really want to be, but we have to figure out how to make it work financially. I will try to work from home at least a few days a week if I can't stay home full-time.

khauke · September 2010

Spin313:
I am a SAHM and 98% of the time I adore it. I wouldn't trade it...it's been so amazing to have this time with my son (and soon the new baby). For me, having a wonderful supportive group of mom friends is key. We do playdates and "field trips" with the kids, and we do mom nights out for us.

Thank you for sharing your advice. I never thought that I would be a SAHM, but right now we are in a new area for DH's work and I have never found anything in my dying field (residential architecture). Though I am excited now and happy I will have the time with LO. My mother was a SAHM till I was 14.

chicsub · September 2010

Yeah, definitely hook up with some moms' groups. Also, I found the first couple of months to be a hard adjustment of feeling like I was "only" a mom and find it much more fun now that DS is walking and really able to interact with the world. I would still do playdates when he was 2 months old, but it was obviously more for me than him. Plus he was born in Nov. in Chicago, so it was a long winter with a newborn!

Tarah716 · September 2010

No - I'll be a full time working outside the house mom.

1. As of right now I carry our insurance

2. We could get by on one income but that would mean no extras in life, vacations, toys, ect.

3. I enjoy my job and helping with the finances of the household.

I have worried about it - if I won't be able to spend enough time with our baby but I figure plenty of women have done it before and do it currently so I'll just figure out a way that works for us.

AmyNicole622 · September 2010

Thanks for all the information!! It has really helped! I need to wrap my head around the idea raising a child will be a JOB. Some days I feel I should do more..DH has told me many times he wants me to stay home!

Thanks Ladies!

darvade · September 2010

i am a IT contracter, so i am hoping that i will get many projects to work from home, i dont want to travel and leave my newborn. i would like to become a SAHM for atleast the first six months, i know we can financially handle it. after that i need to find a job in NJ if no projects let me work from home, right now i commute to NYC and that takes up too much time. my DH works in IT as well and has long hours, some one needs to get to daycare. im not really planning that much in advance, need to see what happens when it happens

on_the_move · September 2010

I became a SAHM when DS was born and most of the time it is great! We just moved to this area and I really loved having a great group of mom friends where we lived before. It was so nice to get to go out on a girls night once a month or so. I miss that and haven't been able to find many SAHMs in this area so it is just the two of us during the day and I find that I can get a little cranky with DH when he gets home (or that could just be the pregnancy hormones)

mrs.wright2023 · September 2010

I will be leaving my job after he his born. I am so excited. I went back to work after we had Isabel, but knew I always wanted to be a SAHM.

Good luck to you in whatever you decide.

mrswright2006 · September 2010

I am a SAHM right now with DD, and YES it is very important to have "adult time." For me, I don't really have a strong group of friends (I am a boarderline hermit), but I try to eek out time alone with either my husband or my mom (my two best friends) most weeks. I have also found that just telling DH that I need a break helps. He is so good about taking DD when I have had a hard day. I have been relying on him heavily since getting pregnant, because I have felt so ill that I haven't had the energy to put in full days(that is slowly changing as I feel better). Sometimes I go upstairs and watch a movie, sometimes I go run errands alone, but no matter what it is, it makes me feel more human afterwards.

soontobemrs.boulet · September 2010

I am a SAHM and I love it! I will say that it is the most challenging job I have ever had but also the most rewarding.

My advice for staying yourself is find a playgroup with moms that have babies the same age. We go to play with friends once a week. I also try to leave my house almost every day. It is nice to get dressed and put make up on. That alone makes me fwleel better. Even when Karsyn was a newborn and would have a bad night I would make myself get ready and go do something with a mom friend or my DH.

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