Adoption
Maternity Leave
Well, it looks like there is no way we can afford for me to take 12 weeks unpaid. All of our savings will be wiped out by adoption expenses, so it's not like we'd have savings to live off of.
Short of tabling adoption for another year (and being another year older) to save money specificially for leave, I don't see me being able to take a full leave.
The irony of course, if I'd given birth we'd have our savings and I'd get disability pay.
I should've realized this before tonight, obviously, but right now I am mad about it. I've had so much taken away from me, and now I don't even get to have a regular maternity leave?!
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Re: Maternity Leave
I know... it does suck! I actually have some decent adoption benefits at work, but the reimbursement doesn't come until finalization and I get 2 weeks paid leave, then I can go into the regular state programs. I also can't afford to take all 12 weeks I'm entitled to because we just can't afford for me to be out of work for that long. I'm the major breadwinner in my house.
I actually wrote a long, long piece for the "suggestion box" at work. I cited all the issues with only being allowed 2 weeks off and countered all their potential arguements with the additional issues, plus I cited the adoptive families list of top adoption friendly companies and pointed out that most of these top companies gave people at least matching paid maternity leave as people having biological children. I basically pointed out that although their reimbursement was generous, by the time it would be recieved, the child has been in the home for at least 6 months. I pointed out we would be broke from paying for the adoption expenses and any leave (state/federal programs) beyond the two weeks offered by the company would be very difficult to afford and I would be forced to return to work without having the benefit of bonding with my new child.
I have yet to hear anything back from them, but I am hoping they might reconsider the length of the paid leave. Anyway - I guess the only thing we can all do is ask. Most people don't adopt. How much extra would these programs cost really? And how much good will would be generated?
I hope you figure out a way to afford your leave. We had to suspend plans for my husband to go back to school in order to make sure we could afford me being home for at least 6 weeks.
TTC since May 2006. After 3 failed Clomid cycles, 2 failed Injectibles/IUIs, 2 failed IVFs and 1 failed FET, we moved on to adoption!
Last ditch FET resulted in BFP, and identical twin girls!
I personally wouldn't put off adopting for an entire year to save for leave if there is any other way you can work it out. I only took four weeks off - 2 weeks paid vacation and 2 weeks unpaid. Since I started my leave a few days before DS was born, he was actually only 3.5 weeks old when I went back to work.
While it was certainly not ideal, it wasn't as bad as you might think. You don't have physical recovery to deal with, so physically you will feel fine. Before DS was born I thought it would be so hard to go back so quickly, but the reality was that he slept all the time. The only time he was awake was when he was eating or getting a diaper change. So I didn't feel like I was really missing out on quality time with him. It wasn't until three months when DS started being more alert and interacting.
How much paid time can you take off if you use up vacation and any other personal days you may have? Can you afford to take just two unpaid weeks off? Could you go back to work at four weeks, and then have your husband take all of his vacation time? Do you have family members around who could care for the baby until he is old enough for daycare?
DD was 26 months when we brought her home and we did not get any paid time off work. We both saved our vacation time and and took long weekends off at different times. Our mothers helped us also. We had a total of 4 weeks between the two of us and with help from family we were able to keep DD home for 8 weeks before daycare.
With DD being older it really helped that her foster family had pictures of our family that DD looked at daily. She was calling us mommy and papa when she came home. We would talk to her one the phone as much as you can with a 2 year old. It took about a month before she would let me hold her to go to sleep or for comfort her.
Ugh....so not fair, huh!
I have a staff of mostly women....and nearly all of them have been pregnant while working with me. Can you believe that they can stretch their leaves out to nearly five months!!! Five months paid! It's insane but lucky them.
Me, on the other hand- I guess I should complain. State benefit for paid family leave is six weeks. I'll stretch it and add vacation, and integrate it with working from home a day or two per week. I guess I am lucky in my own way too.
I can use paid time off, yes, but I've only been at my employer since Dec09. And of course I used a week right off the bat to recover from a surgery that was "supposed" to restore my fertility. So, yeah.
I'm hoping with paid holidays (wouldn't it be great to bring home a baby around Christmas!), plus whatever PTO I can stockpile, plus us just being as frugal as possible, I can be out for 6ish weeks.
I am approaching my employer about adding some kind of adoption benefits (paid leave or reimbursement or something!), so we'll see. Can't hurt to ask.