sad and confused (PG mentioned)
So...I'm feeing aweful and feeling like a terrible person so I need somewhere to share. A very very close relative of mine has been struggling with IF for about 6 years. Shortly after she and her DH completed testing and started working with an RE, my DH and I started that same process. We opted not to pursue ART at that time but she did and had many disappointments and MC's etc. We both moved on to adoption research. We have since adopted our gorgeous DS and feel that every moment was worth it. She had a failed match, a few struggles with foster-to-adopt and then took her break from it all and eventually went back to her RE. She was still open to adoption but ehr DH wasn't and just last week she called to say that she is now 12 weeks PG. I was amazingly happy for her and also felt odd inside and didn't know why. Yesterday my period started and for the first time in about a year I actually had thought that it might be my turn since I had no pre-AF symptoms and ALWAYS do. Now I feel sad and alone. I feel like the worst person EVER to be saying that because I am truly happy for her but it's almost like I'm grieving the loss of the only person IRL that I felt could relate....even as I type this I know it makes no sense but I needed and outlet or my poor DH will never get his optimistic wife back. Combine that with stress resulting from my DH expecting to be laid off within the next week or two and I'm a wreck! I could use hugs...virtual or otherwise...and prayers
Re: sad and confused (PG mentioned)
{{hugs}}
I think it is natural to always have a twinge of sadness for something that seems out of reach (that is how I have seen it in the past), so don't be too hard on yourself. You have a lot of stress right now--best to your DH! I have had these feelings in the past when people easily get pregnant, been trying for years/stopped treatment and bam, pregnant, but it passes and this will for you as well. Love your little DS and your DH, as I am sure you do.
{{hugs}}
((HUGS))
What you're feeling is perfectly normal and nothing to feel bad about. This was a person you could share a unique experience with, and now she gets to experience something you can't at this time. It's not always going to feel good. But it will gett better.
Hugs....
I think that empty and wanting feel can surprise us when we least expect it.
I don't really have a huge desire to have a biochild but occasionally those pangs hit. I think it's just one of those things we'll always carry with us.
*Hugs*
I think you're totally normal to be feeling the way you do.
*hugs*
Just remember when it's hard like this, that God never gives us more than we can handle, and that he has a great plan for you, and that may or may not involve a biological child, but have faith that he will not leave you unfulfilled. One way or another your heart will be full....
))) I wish you great luck and baby dust!!