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Thanks Ladies for the advice!!!

When2become10410When2become10410
in Single Parents
I posted before about the rules of the dating game for single parents. Well I took yalls advice but I ended things instead. Something just didn't feel right with him. Have any of you ever felt weird after a while with a guy. I'm glad things didn't get far or it would have been harder. I think I just finally(yeah I know) came to the realization that I need to get my *** and life in order before I can bring other people into my life. Its so hard though because I long for the affection and attention. It was a lot easier after my first child but now after my 2nd it just hurts worse knowing I made the same mistake twice. How is it that 2 guys seemed to find me and screw me over leaving me 2 beautiful girls to take care of alone. My oldest daughter longs for her father and I don't know what to tell her anymore. Ok sorry for the long thank you/vent lol. By the way 1ht so sorry
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Re: Thanks Ladies for the advice!!!

  • achase123achase123

    If something doesn't feel right, there is a reason for that.  Glad you went with your gut and ended things.

    I believe you hit the nail on the head when you stated that you need to get yourself together before you can bring someone else into your life.  This is imperative.  How can you find a healthy relationship, when you, yourself are not healthy?

    We all long for affection and attention.  It is very lonely being a single parent.  However, that's not a good enough reason to be with the wrong guy and have your girls exposed to various men. 

    You ask how it is that two guys seemed to find you and screw you over.  My guess would be that it wasn't a coincidence.  If you are (admittedly) not content with yourself, or completely healthy, you will attract men who are not the best for you or your children.  You likely give off a vibe that is desperate and therefore will fall prey to abusive/manipulative men more easily because they will be able to sense this about you.

    Take time for yourself and your children.  Go to counseling, read some great self-help books, do some things that you have never done before (such as new hobbies or interests), and make new friends.  You will get to know yourself and, perhaps, eventually the right man will come along.  You need to be patient though and spend time working on YOU without focusing on men.  You don't have the luxury of making another mistake because your children will be affected by your choices.

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  • lnbohaclnbohac
    imageachase123:

    If something doesn't feel right, there is a reason for that.  Glad you went with your gut and ended things.

    I believe you hit the nail on the head when you stated that you need to get yourself together before you can bring someone else into your life.  This is imperative.  How can you find a healthy relationship, when you, yourself are not healthy?

    We all long for affection and attention.  It is very lonely being a single parent.  However, that's not a good enough reason to be with the wrong guy and have your girls exposed to various men. 

    You ask how it is that two guys seemed to find you and screw you over.  My guess would be that it wasn't a coincidence.  If you are (admittedly) not content with yourself, or completely healthy, you will attract men who are not the best for you or your children.  You likely give off a vibe that is desperate and therefore will fall prey to abusive/manipulative men more easily because they will be able to sense this about you.

    Take time for yourself and your children.  Go to counseling, read some great self-help books, do some things that you have never done before (such as new hobbies or interests), and make new friends.  You will get to know yourself and, perhaps, eventually the right man will come along.  You need to be patient though and spend time working on YOU without focusing on men.  You don't have the luxury of making another mistake because your children will be affected by your choices.

     

    Fabulous advice! 

     

     

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