WWYD...sick grandfather, anti-vaccine family

IrishCoffee7 · September 2010

I'll try to keep this short.

I'm not overly close to my mom's family as they are scattered all over the country and I only saw my granparents every couple years or so growing up. Most of them are a little odd, and many of my aunts/uncles do not vaccinate their kids.

My grandpa has cancer. My family did a huge reuinion this summer in Northern Idaho and of my mom's 11 siblings, their spouses, and my 50 first cousins, my 2 sisters and I were the ONLY ones who didn't attend. I never count on anyone doing what they say in that side of the family so I hadn't expected that everyone would actually show up. I did kind of feel like an ass for not going.

With LO coming and not being sure how long my grandpa will be around I feel like DH and I should make a trip out there. I"m thinking 4-day weekend at the end of my mat leave. The problem is the unvaccinated family members. I would keep LO away from the kids since there's no way I can ask them to vaccinate...they won't do it.

But at 10 weeks, what about the adults? Is it even safe to bring LO at all?

Just curious what your opinions are...

Thanks third tri!

neferhathor · September 2010

I think adults would be fine. Just keep some hand sanitizer handy and ask people to use it before they touch LO. And of course if someone isn't feeling well then obviously they shouldn't be around the baby and hopefully they would have enough sense to know that.

Britty685 · September 2010

There wont be AS many people there when you visit your g'father as would be at a reunion. With children and adults you could make them wash up and/or use sanitizer before handling LO. Also if someone seems sick you could ask that they not hold the baby.

I would still be nervous, but most people DO get immunizations. The chance that one of your family members are running around with Measles or something would be slim.

HTH

jamiemsmith · September 2010

Yikes... what a situation! Seeing as I can't force my family to get the shots either, I know how you feel. This is basically how it's going to be for me around the holidays!

I'll be taking him, but I'll be paying close attention to who's coughing/sneezing and asking everyone to use anti-bac. Part of my big thing about travel is that this may be DH's maternal grandmother's only chance to meet LO. She won't remember anyhow, but I'd like to have some pics. She also had cancer, so her immune system is still recovering. I just can't imagine not taking him.

Also, talk to your Ped about it... see what vax LO will have had at that point, some do weird timelines!

neferhathor · September 2010

OH, i forgot to add this. I'm not sure what my opinions on vaccinations are since I haven't done much research about them, but I do know a few people who do not vaccinate their babies/toddlers/young children and all of them are perfectly healthy. The little ones hardly ever get sick. The school-aged ones are sick about as much as you would expect. So... the kids would probably be fine too, but of course you're the only one that can make that decision since it's your LO at risk.

Kitiara5512 · September 2010

This is a tough one. I want to say that if I was in your situation, I would not go, because the adults can also pass on viruses and other communicable diseases. They might have naturally built up an immunity to stuff like the measles, but that doesn't mean that they cant be carriers. Its a tough choice to make, I am sorry you are put in a position to have to choose between your child getting to know his great grandfather or staying safe and healthy.

Kitiara5512 · September 2010

Britty685:

There wont be AS many people there when you visit your g'father as would be at a reunion. With children and adults you could make them wash up and/or use sanitizer before handling LO. Also if someone seems sick you could ask that they not hold the baby.

I would still be nervous, but most people DO get immunizations. The chance that one of your family members are running around with Measles or something would be slim.

HTH

They did have that measles epidemic in California a few years ago because everyone assumed that too many people were immunized for anyone to really get it anymore, then found out that not as many people get vaccinated as they thought. I think several people died or got severely sick.

Kitiara5512 · September 2010

heckysue:
jamiemsmith:

Yikes... what a situation! Seeing as I can't force my family to get the shots either, I know how you feel. This is basically how it's going to be for me around the holidays!

I'll be taking him, but I'll be paying close attention to who's coughing/sneezing and asking everyone to use anti-bac. Part of my big thing about travel is that this may be DH's maternal grandmother's only chance to meet LO. She won't remember anyhow, but I'd like to have some pics. She also had cancer, so her immune system is still recovering. I just can't imagine not taking him.

Also, talk to your Ped about it... see what vax LO will have had at that point, some do weird timelines!

Yeah this is what I plan on, I was just curious what other people's thoughts were.
My concern is that a few years ago there actually WAS a whooping cough outbreak in their area because so many families don't vaccinate.

Ugh, I know it's my family, but it actually makes me angry when I think about it.

When we went to go interview peds, ours was talking about having a couple of current whooping cough patients, whose parents had not felt it necessary to get them vaccinated, so now they get that cough and weakness for about three months I think? Our ped requires all patients to be fully vaccinated and wont accept patients who do not.

Britty685 · September 2010

Kitiara0364:
Britty685:

There wont be AS many people there when you visit your g'father as would be at a reunion. With children and adults you could make them wash up and/or use sanitizer before handling LO. Also if someone seems sick you could ask that they not hold the baby.

I would still be nervous, but most people DO get immunizations. The chance that one of your family members are running around with Measles or something would be slim.

HTH

They did have that measles epidemic in California a few years ago because everyone assumed that too many people were immunized for anyone to really get it anymore, then found out that not as many people get vaccinated as they thought. I think several people died or got severely sick.

Wow! I guess that's just a common misconception. I had no idea that people actually got stuff like that in America anymore (as opposed to a country where vaccines aren't as common). Glad I'm up to date on my shots now for sure!

Carilyn · September 2010

heckysue:
jamiemsmith:

Yikes... what a situation! Seeing as I can't force my family to get the shots either, I know how you feel. This is basically how it's going to be for me around the holidays!

I'll be taking him, but I'll be paying close attention to who's coughing/sneezing and asking everyone to use anti-bac. Part of my big thing about travel is that this may be DH's maternal grandmother's only chance to meet LO. She won't remember anyhow, but I'd like to have some pics. She also had cancer, so her immune system is still recovering. I just can't imagine not taking him.

Also, talk to your Ped about it... see what vax LO will have had at that point, some do weird timelines!

Yeah this is what I plan on, I was just curious what other people's thoughts were.
My concern is that a few years ago there actually WAS a whooping cough outbreak in their area because so many families don't vaccinate.

Ugh, I know it's my family, but it actually makes me angry when I think about it.

If you're talking northern Idaho, rates are climbing again. Area hospitals have seen several cases and one infant death from it already this season. I'd be more worried about the adults, because they're less likely to be very symptomatic of anything (whooping cough is usually just a dry cough and general cold like feeling in adults) whereas the kids would be much more sick seeming/acting (therefore more obvious).

By 10weeks, your little guy should have one DTaP and some immunity (though it is s 5 shot series). If you get your TDaP and flu shots as well as your DH, use hand sanitizer, don't let anyone with as much as a sniffle (who hasn't been vaccinated) touch your baby, and keep LO close at the airport/plane, etc (baby wearing is great for this) and BF if you can, you should be ok.

cpmich · September 2010

Talk to your pediatrician. Mine strongly recommended no flying with LO until he is at least 3 months old because his immune system will not be developed yet. Consider the size of the family gathering, how you will be getting there, and the number and ages of kids and adults... Any bugs the kids have are probably also present in the parents.

[Deleted User] · September 2010

I would add that you not announce to the family when you are going so that you can reduce the number of (un vaccinated) people going. You are going to see your grandfather, and that will still happen if the rest of the family stays home!

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