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Still Heartbroken

johnsonjeriljohnsonjeril
in TTC after 35

Oh my gosh!  Had a miscarriage almost 2 months ago and still cry several times a week.  Struggling so much!! 

I just turned 41 a few weeks ago, I know I should start IVF when my cycle starts in October.  How can you start IVF when you are still emotionally a wreck?  My husband suggests we wait 6 months.  I am afraid that will be too late.  What do you think-is waiting 6 months at my age ridiculous?

 

 

 

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Re: Still Heartbroken

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    CityPixieCityPixie

    My two cents...don't wait. I think that there are some REs that cut off at 42 or 43.  Know that we will be here for you as you continue to work through your struggle.

    -Pix

     

    About me: A pixie in the city, 41, TTC #1 since May 2010, married 18 years. Diagnosed with, surgically removed, endometrioma Aug.2010 Sept 2010 IUI #1=BFN, Oct=cyst/bfn, Nov 2010 IUI #2 = bfn. Had to postpone IUI #3 b/c of a cyst natural=BFN. Skipped IUI #3, decided to go for IVF. Found/removed uterine polyps Jan 2011. IVF cancelled, no follicles. IVF #2: 3 great embies put in on Easter Sunday = BFN. Hoping for another chance at IVF in July. TTC is NOT for wimps. http://www.fertilityfriend.com/ticker/2fab90/ttc.png
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    aurora1974aurora1974 member
    As difficult as I know it is, I don't think you should wait either. But that's just my opinion. You have to do what's right for you.  Maybe talk to your RE and see if there's a suggestion there?
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    tumbletumble
    Maybe an unpopular answer and not trying to skip over the m/c cause I have myself had two and know how emotionally draining they are. I would not wait, time isn't on our side unfortunately.  It helped me lose some of the pain when a goal was in reach and I was ttc. Gl sweetie ((HUGS))
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    Deanne ShehaneDeanne Shehane member
    So sorry for your loss. Grief is so hard to work through. Time is ticking away for all of us but I think being emotionally ready is important too. I had a chemical pregnancy with my first IVF and I didn't even know that was something that could happen. It was emotionally draining as well. We started IVF # 2 about a month or two later. Take the time you need to recover from it emotionally but it never totally goes away. Don't give up. T and P being sent your way. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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    ougrad1ougrad1 member
    I had a m/c right before Emerson and got pregnant right away naturally.  I had to go the injectable/IUI route the second time around.  I just turned 40 last week and I wouldn't wait six months if I were you.  
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    boymamacoboymamaco member
    I'm so sorry for your loss and agony. May not be my place to say but have you thought about talking to a counselor about all you are going through? It can be so helpful. I love my therapist... But then again I was a psychology major so maybe I'm weird that way. Big hugs!!
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    lhcooperlhcooper member

    I'm so sorry; I had a miscarriage a year ago and it still hurts.  Two months is a very short period of time (but it does get better, really it does). Can you compromise with yourself and your husband and not start in October but November or maybe even December? Every month counts at our age (I'm 39), but I think if you're feeling as awful as you say, it might be worth it to wait another month at least to see how you feel.  Stress, after all, doesn't help anything and could get in the way.

    Hang in there.

    me - 41 (dx: DOR); DH - 53 (no problems); 7/18/09 - married!; 8/4/09 - BFP on first (real)try; 9/14/09 - missed m/c; 9/15/09 - d&c; 11/09 - 3/10 - 4 natural cycles = BFN; 4/10 - dx hyperthyroidism caused by Graves' disease; 6/10 - thyroidectomy; 7/10 - 12/10 - 1 natural and 5 medicated IUI cycles = BFN; 1/11 - new RE; dx low ovarian reserve (AMH .42; 1/26/11 -- BFP (ectopic) from IUI #6; methotrexate 2/10/11; 6/2/11 - IVF #1 = BFN; 9/12/11 - prescreening for DE; 9/15/11 - IUI #7 (unmedicated)= BFN; 11/8 - begin DE cycle (shared risk program); 12/5 - ER (5 eggs/4 mature/3 fertilized/2 left by day 5) 12/10 - ET of one 1BB blast (expanded, "fair" quality), none to freeze; 12/22 - totally shocked by +hpt; beta #1 = 413; #2 = 3952 2/14 - CVS reveals a healthy baby girl! EDD: 8/27/12 DD born 8/31/12, 10 lbs 10 oz and perfect in every way. 
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    lhcooperlhcooper member

    (above message posted twice, couldn't delete it so doing this)

    me - 41 (dx: DOR); DH - 53 (no problems); 7/18/09 - married!; 8/4/09 - BFP on first (real)try; 9/14/09 - missed m/c; 9/15/09 - d&c; 11/09 - 3/10 - 4 natural cycles = BFN; 4/10 - dx hyperthyroidism caused by Graves' disease; 6/10 - thyroidectomy; 7/10 - 12/10 - 1 natural and 5 medicated IUI cycles = BFN; 1/11 - new RE; dx low ovarian reserve (AMH .42; 1/26/11 -- BFP (ectopic) from IUI #6; methotrexate 2/10/11; 6/2/11 - IVF #1 = BFN; 9/12/11 - prescreening for DE; 9/15/11 - IUI #7 (unmedicated)= BFN; 11/8 - begin DE cycle (shared risk program); 12/5 - ER (5 eggs/4 mature/3 fertilized/2 left by day 5) 12/10 - ET of one 1BB blast (expanded, "fair" quality), none to freeze; 12/22 - totally shocked by +hpt; beta #1 = 413; #2 = 3952 2/14 - CVS reveals a healthy baby girl! EDD: 8/27/12 DD born 8/31/12, 10 lbs 10 oz and perfect in every way. 
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    karenannmarkkarenannmark
    ((hugs)) im so sorry for your loss, i dont have experience on this but just wanted to say not too wait too long, time isnt on our side!!!!  Wishing you the best of luck!!!
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    marjoriemitchellmarjoriemitchell

    Two things 1. I know you had a miscarriage but there could still be post-partem depression involved. and 2.  I might be a good idea to see someone before attempting another pregnancy.  Many forms of depression can be exacerbated by pregnancy.

    good luck in what ever you decide to do.  We are here to support you.

    M.Echols

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