Help! - sleeping alone

anabell0920 · September 2010

So Dylan refuses to sleep without me and it's really starting to drain me. I nurse him to sleep and he goes down easily and will be blissfully asleep for oh 2 minutes maybe after I get out of bed and then his eyes will pop open and he is mad. As soon as I lay back down with him he either wants to nurse back to sleep or sometimes will just see me and touch me then go back to sleep. He still only will nap on me as well and while I do love my snuggles I NEED a break! Dh is deployed and I am alone for all the night wakings, which lately have been easily over 6 a night and Dylan goes to bed by 7-8 and I can't spend my only time of the day that I should be able to unwind laying in bed next to him. The other night I had dozed off and woken up around 10 and went downstairs and within 10 minutes he was crying for me. He had already been asleep for 3 hours! I just don't know what to do anymore and I am not comfortable with CIO. Please any suggestions?

NeenTheBean · September 2010

I feel your pain. This method does have crying but for me it doesn't seem as harsh as CIO. Instead of nursing Harrison to sleep at night I'll hold him and pat his back. He screamed for about 30 minutes the first night, 15 minutes the next 5 the next and now he just groans loudly til he falls asleep. I lay him down and he's out like a light and he's started to sleep about 6 hours at night. This also being said he can roll and he instantly rolls onto his stomach when I lay him down.

kwinters87 · September 2010

Is he maybe afraid of sleeping in a lot of open space. Maybe try putting a warm fuzzy blanket next to him (below arm pit level of course) and see if that helps him.

StrawberryAlarmClock · September 2010

I feel your pain. The only thing that worked at all for us was really loud white noise so I could sneak out of the room and noises like emptying the dishwasher wouldn't wake him. GL. You're not alone.

anabell0920 · September 2010

kwinters87:
Is he maybe afraid of sleeping in a lot of open space. Maybe try putting a warm fuzzy blanket next to him (below arm pit level of course) and see if that helps him.

I already do. I leave our blanket pulled up to his waist. Neen- he goes to sleep easily and nursing him to sleep doesn't bother me it's the staying asleep alone that is killing me.

NeenTheBean · September 2010

anabell0920:
kwinters87:
Is he maybe afraid of sleeping in a lot of open space. Maybe try putting a warm fuzzy blanket next to him (below arm pit level of course) and see if that helps him.
I already do. I leave our blanket pulled up to his waist. Neen- he goes to sleep easily and nursing him to sleep doesn't bother me it's the staying asleep alone that is killing me.

Hmm

That stinks if I nurse Harrison to sleep he doesn't sleep well by himself. Hmmm

Poor Dylan I hope you figure something out.

anabell0920 · September 2010

NeenTheBean:
anabell0920:
kwinters87:
Is he maybe afraid of sleeping in a lot of open space. Maybe try putting a warm fuzzy blanket next to him (below arm pit level of course) and see if that helps him.
I already do. I leave our blanket pulled up to his waist. Neen- he goes to sleep easily and nursing him to sleep doesn't bother me it's the staying asleep alone that is killing me.
Hmm That stinks if I nurse Harrison to sleep he doesn't sleep well by himself. Hmmm Poor Dylan I hope you figure something out.

Thanks. Unfortunetly even if my mom puts him to bed no nursing he wakes up once he wakes up once alone as well.

NeenTheBean · September 2010

anabell0920:
NeenTheBean:
anabell0920:
kwinters87:
Is he maybe afraid of sleeping in a lot of open space. Maybe try putting a warm fuzzy blanket next to him (below arm pit level of course) and see if that helps him.
I already do. I leave our blanket pulled up to his waist. Neen- he goes to sleep easily and nursing him to sleep doesn't bother me it's the staying asleep alone that is killing me.
Hmm That stinks if I nurse Harrison to sleep he doesn't sleep well by himself. Hmmm Poor Dylan I hope you figure something out.
Thanks. Unfortunetly even if my mom puts him to bed no nursing he wakes up once he wakes up once alone as well.

Maybe he's giving you a hard time now so he'll be perfect later on in life

MrsBeckO · September 2010

DD was the same way for a while, and I think that's where her need for skin contact started. :sigh: I feel ya.

I figured out that once she falls asleep, if I turn her onto her side and put her stuffed bunny in front of her chest (so she's almost leaning on it), she stays asleep a little longer. She's cuddled up with her bunny, and I think doesn't feel swallowed by a big ol' bed. Now she looks for her bunny before we lay her down for nap or bed, and she'll turn to her side and cuddle it herself. She still needs me in there to fall asleep, but I'm able to leave the room once she's out.

Hope things get easier for you! Just remind yourself that 'this too shall pass'. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next week, but it will pass. Promise.

earthyaky · September 2010

we've been going through the same thing.... and H never wakes with baby D. Ever. It's always me putting her down, waking with her and soothing her. I don't know how we got into that routine, but we're in it nonetheless.....so I get how draining it is.

Just this past week, I've been able to sneak out while she naps and get about 30-60 mins to myself. Not always, but sometimes. I hope it's a phase they grow out of soon.

speakin of..... D just woke again

princessjenney · September 2010

This happens for us sometimes too. It's kind of neat that they can sense when we aren't there. If I she doesn't want to be alone until I come to bed, I bring her out to the livingroom and put her down in her pack-n-play. She usually goes right back to sleep. If she starts to fuss I can calm her right away before it elevates and she knows I'm close by.

Kelly-renee · September 2010

I have a stuffed bear that I have slept with for most of my life. It is pretty stiff, so not really a suffocation hazard. DH will stick it in front of DD's face for naps, not that I necessarily recommend this, but I know that Bear smells like me from years of cuddling with me, and I think it helps DD stay asleep for her naps. According to him she won't sleep without the bear.

Maybe you could try having your LO sleep with something that smells like you. Also, if you have a swing I would try that some nights. Sometimes it's the only thing that works for DD to stay asleep a while. Last night she finally slept in it for like 4 hrs, which is a huge improvement over her 1 hr stretches for the last 2 weeks.

jday1229 · September 2010

DS was exactly the same. We didn't find the magic answer but he grew out of it around 7-8 months. I know it's sooo hard. I was at my breaking point many times and just needed an hour or 2 after he fell asleep for myself. Now I can even sneak out of bed early in the morning (like now!).

goodheartedmommy · September 2010

Are you comfortable letting him sleep on the boppy until you come to bed? My girls liked it because it felt like they were being held.

BelhurstBride · September 2010

Have you read the NCSS? I read it awhile ago and dismissed it because I wasn't ready to make changes, but now Stella is up every hour to an hour and a half and it's starting to drain me. I think I'm going to revert back to some of the many suggestions that book had.

I've recently discovered that her kryptonite is a shirt that I've recently worn, but it doesn't seem to work to keep her asleep without me right next to her. Perhaps it's worth a shot for you?

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