Why, might I ask, (VENT)
do the people who have nothing NICE to say on this board, not shut up!?
And no, it's not just on this board! I had someone tell me recently that I am a terrible person for adopting out my child because it's "unnatural". What's unnatural to me is people inability to accept DIFFERENCES. And for people who don't know details to try to act all high and mighty and omniscient about a situation.
I don't post absolutely everything about my situation with my cousins on here for the same reason a lot of you don't post your more personal arrangements, it's "none ya". I share what is relevant to what I am asking or telling and thats it.
I appreciate those who have been kind, and I hope that I have been as helpful and kind back... but might I simply ask those who seek to be rude, destructive, abrasive, controversial, or just plain bi***** PLEASE, STFU! GO AWAY!
People like that make me want to become a shell that no one ever knows anything about the insides. And what kind of world will we be when we are all like that? This is supposed to be a place for sharing a journey, and on this particular board, a dual sided journey. A place for support and even education... not a place to try and 'put someone in their place'. Play nice or don't make an account. Simple as that.
Sorry I've just been furious about this all evening...
Re: Why, might I ask, (VENT)
I think overall the adoption board members are very respectful; however, I just read the comment that you are referring to. I'm sorry that that was posted. I also noticed that the poster has only 3 posts - so my guess is that person created the account just to post something like that, meaning they aren't a regular board member here.
Georgina will always be your daughter. That won't ever change. She has two mothers and even more love. I agree with the posters on the other page that some of the decisions - such as contact with the grandmother - should be made by your cousin and her husband. That way they can do what they are most comfortable with. But I think it would be fine for you to talk about it with them and express how you feel, too. I do think it's fine to share pictures of her, too.
I hope you're doing okay (other than being upset about the other post.) We just saw dd's birthmom last Saturday, and she seemed to be doing really well. I'm happy that we can talk to each other and visit and she can know that dd is loved and happy. I hope that you get that same peace through the relationship with your cousin, her husband, and your/their dd.
Well said, Art Teacher.
I'm sorry that someone would respond to you that way on a board that's here to support both adoptive and birth parents.
Please don't take her opinion for all of ours.
I'm sorry.
Sorry you are frustrated and hurting.
Just remember- adoption can be complicated and there will always be opinions of others. Try hold on to the opinions that are helpful and use them as support, and those that you disagree with because they don't "get" the situation, toss them aside. Don't waste time worrying about what someone else thinks or says.
I know...easier said than done....but it's the best I can offer you
I would never, swanck... as I do believe everyone is different and one person cannot represent them all.
More than I ever thought possible of you ladies have been exceptionally supportive and I appreciate that, I just wish harmful people would not try to be harmful to people who are in delicate situations, especially to someone who just fought long and hard to do the right thing for her child. Its all so fresh still because I'm STILL fighting to get medicaid to cover their portion of her birth expenses, and to be told right now that she's not my child anymore, *shakes head*.
Anyhow 99% of you ladies are absolutely amazing, generous, and extremely supportive of me... it's the ones that make the account just to be a debbie downer that I am amazed at.
I hope I can continue to contribute to you ladies as much as you have contributed to me.
I'm so glad you don't put us all together.
I've only been on the adoption board for a short time, but I already greatly appreciate your contribution to our journey too.
::: hugs :::
Fredlina ~ Wasn't your original board BOTB? I remember you from there and you were quite snarky back in the day. Did a baby make you go all soft?
ps. OP telling someone to shutthefuckup, kinda makes you a pot. ~just saying~
I think the gift is in knowing when snark is appropriate. Some boards are full of snark and some are not. "Know your audience" and "lurk before posting" have always been knot/nest/bump rules (actually most forums for that matter). The audience here is not very snarky and snark isn't well tolerated.
This...I'm sorry as well.