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Babies: 0 - 3 Months
Visiting from 3rd tri - When did you feel comfortable traveling?
Hello all, I am lurking from 3rd trimester with a question. I am due November 1st, and DF would like to visit his family, and show off new baby for Thanksgiving.
When post partum did you feel comfortable enough to handle a 9 hour car ride? How long did you bleed afterwards? Is this enough time for my body to get back to normal? Would your baby travel well at 3 weeks old or so?
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Re: Visiting from 3rd tri - When did you feel comfortable traveling?
A 9 hour road trip with a 3 week old sounds horrible! I would wait until Christmas.
A word of warning- You don't know when you will actually have the baby. I was 10 days overdue when I was induced.
I am not a car trip person so there is no way I would have wanted to take a 9 hour car trip 2-3 weeks post pardum. That trip could easily turn into 12 hours with a newborn. Also my LO hates the car, and has since she was born. When she was 3 weeks old I had to drive a little over an hour with her, and I thought we were all going to lose our sh!t.
I had a csection and while my recovery was great at 2-3 weeks pp I was still exhausted, sore and weak. DD and I were still getting into our rythm and establishing breastfeeding. I bled for 6 weeks. The first 2 weeks were like a long heavy period, the next two weeks were like a normal period and the last two weeks was spotting/discharge. I am 10 weeks pp now and I honestly still don't feel "normal".
So my answer is- No I wouldn't have done it via car but would have possibly entertained a plane trip then. We took a plane trip at 6 weeks PP and it went fabulous! However being away from home and off our normal daily routine (which is very flexible) was exhausting and there is no way I would have wanted to do it before 6 weeks.
I agree with PP. I was still exhausted around that time. DS and I had a pretty good routine down by then, but it was still exhausting. Not to mention being around a lot of people will not only be stressful for you (people don't wash their hands, giving you unwanted advice, etc.) but it is also EXTREMELY stressful for your LO! We have family visiting this week and DS was SUPER stressed yesterday from meeting new people, being passed around, and his schedule was way off! The only time he wouldn't cry was if he was eating (he was too stressed to even latch on a lot of the time and it took me anywhere from 10-45 minutes to get him to calm down) or if he was sleeping... and he will be 7 weeks tomorrow.
So anything like that can be really hard on a baby at ANY age. But I definitely am glad he's not younger because who knows how much harder it might have been! I definitely wouldn't recommend a drive that long before at least 6 weeks.
Christmas is out of the question for traveling. I have an almost 7 year old as well and have our own traditions & family events we do in this state for Christmas. His family does not even put up a Christmas tree. I collect ornaments, have three trees, and thousands of ornaments. The logistics of trying to move Christmas to another place would drive me bonkers.
My DD is three weeks old now and while I'd totally be up for a 9 hour car trip, I don't think it's feasible with DD. She's been great in the car for up to an hour, but a good portion of the day she's screaming unless she's being held. I could see us driving an hour and then needing to stop for an hour or two to feed/change/hold her. We're supposed to fly across the country with her at 3 months and I'm a little worried about that.
Of course every baby is different, but for us, I think my limit would be 3 hours from home, max,
Your all right its hard to predict when he will come, so far the doctor is saying he would be surprised if I made it to my due date, but you never know it could be later.
I really have no desire to travel, but I can understand DF wanting his parents to meet his new baby, and for some reason they can't ever come to visit us. They don't have the best accomodations, so not bleeding would have to be one of my stipulations to travel. I could not handle that mess on top of the travel. Is it common to bleed for 3 weeks or longer post partum. I honestly can't remember how long I bled with my daughter. I felt good a few days after having her but I had a super easy delivery and she was an exceptionally good baby. But I am very much aware that I was a lot younger in those days, and my body does not bounce back as quickly now.
There is no way in hell I would have gone on a 9 hour car ride being 3 weeks after having a baby. That is even assuming you give birth on your due date. You say your doctor said he would be surprised if you made it to your due date - I was told the same thing and had to be induced a week AFTER my due date.
You also realize that 9 hour car ride will be a lot longer since you will have to stop and feed/change the baby every couple hours. I understand wanting to be near family for the holidays but it sounds like a horrible idea, imo.
9 hours at 3 weeks could very well be more like 12 - 18 hours.... Just throwing that out there. Unless you were factoring in time for feedings, changings, burpings, etc...
eta: physically I would have been up for travel at 3 weeks, but there was no way I was taking Dominic (or any of my kids) that far at that age, and they were all relatively easy newborns....
But.....depending on your baby, it might be easier than taking a 6 month old... who knows? Could you break up the trip a bit? Travel some for one day and finish the next? Or, would this be more like a weekend trip?
I would say it all depends on how you feel ( with my 1st recovery took 2 months until I could sit "normal" but with each child recovery took less time) So I couldn't imagine travelling with a a few wk old cause I couldn't stand the sitting. I bled for 4 wks with all of the kids. I would travel with a 3 wk old no problem.
It all depends on how you feel with your body after delivery. You'll know if you can handle that long trip or split it in 2 days. Travelling with a newborn is the easy part. My mom moved from the stated to ontario, canada and when I was 3 wks old she drove to Kentucky to visit her parents and that is a almost a day drive.
So its up to you and you'll know whats best for you and LO.
Yes I have thought of that. DF has not. But he did try to be patient with me when we went down there in July and had to stop for bathroom breaks every 60 miles or so. He probably does not realize feeding the baby will take longer than a quick bathroom stop, but I guess he will see that for himself when the lo arrives. My daughter was a quick eater and could down a 4 oz bottle in 3 minutes, but every baby is different.
I was induced @ 42 weeks - ds was born on tues & my brother's wedding was that sat. we made it for the ceremony & dinner - barely. it was an hour away, I had to lay down in the front seat the whole time - w/an ice pack...it was horrible! (I am glad I went though) I bled for 4 weeks & then spotted for 1 week. I had a natural vaginal delivery & 2nd degree tear. whatever you decide - GL! take lots of breaks, possibly travel over a couple days (if I had to do this trip, I would)
ETA: & that was just me! ds has been a really good baby, but I would not have tried a car ride that long. not to mention we were still getting the hang of BF - & doing it while traveling would have stressed me out too much
Its a 9 hour trip (560 miles one way) on a good day. Feedings, diaper changings and all would be additional time. We would leave most likely wednesday or the wee hours of thanksgiving morning, and leave early Sunday morning. So a longer weekend. Flights are hard to get because of their location, there are no direct flights, and its not an area with cheap flights. I priced it a few weeks ago and it was $614 round trip and still a 4 -6 hour flight depending on connections. Hence the reason we tend to just drive it.
Yes it is very common to bleed 3 weeks or longer. Bleeding for less than 3 weeks is actually very uncommon.
I understand your DF wanting to meet the new baby. I also understand his family never coming to visit you (we have this problem with my in laws). However if you don't set the precedence now, you will forever be shelping to them, even when it's horribly inconvenient. 9 hours is a LONG time to be in a car without a newborn/baby/child.
I assume this is your DF's first child? Honestly if your in law's will not come to you the best course of action is to wait until after you have the baby to decide what to do. You may be up to it, you probably won't, but don't commit until after you give birth and see how things are going.
ps. I was dilated for weeks and my doctor thought I would never make it to my due date. I had false/early labor for almost 4 weeks and was 4 cm dilated, 100% effaced for a week when I finally was induced at 10 days overdue.
Yes this is DF's first child. It drives me bonkers that they can never come to us. They will drive 6 1/2 hours to the brothers & other grandchild, but can't seem to bother for us. DF just seems to ignore it and does his best to accomodate them.
The doctor is basing his opinion on my previous delivery. I had my daughter on her due date and my water broke very early in labor, only 10 hours long. He is saying that most second babies come earlier & faster. Baby will come when he comes is my opinion.
DH and I took a 9 hour road trip when DD was almost 4 weeks old. My best friend had a baby shower and I was not about to miss it! We have family that lives on the route. So we were able to drive 3 hours and stop and stay with them for the night and then finish the 6 hour drive the next day. Sadie slept for 3 hours at a time so we only had to do one feeding in the car which was not bad at all! It really was not as bad is everyone is making it out to be (at least for us). You can always get a room at a hotel for the night and break the trip up. It would be cheaper then the $650 for a flight.
I felt great and had a normal vaginal delivery with 2nd degree tearing but had no pain! Every delivery is different and I am sure you are prepared for that. You will know what you feel up to after baby is here. I am sure the family will understand if you decide not to at the last minute. And if they do not understand then that is there lose. Good Luck with your delivery!
But also think about breastfeeding and when you might want to introduce bottles as well - before or after Thanksgiving?
I don't think I would travel that soon. You never know what may occur and if your body will be up to it around Thanksgiving time. Unexpectedly, I stayed in the hospital for 9 days after delivering due to a complication. For weeks, riding just 20 minutes to the pharmacy or to doctors' visits was uncomfortable. Every bump that DH hit in the road was torture!