overwhelmed...

hailey1312 · September 2010

My baby is 9 days old today and I am just feeling so overwhelmed. She takes forever to breast feed, at least an hour, between nursing 15-25 minutes, then burping her and changing her and pumping some and maybe breastfeeding on the other side and then trying to get her to sleep, I hardly get any sleep or get anything done. Last night was better, I managed to get more sleep because I only had to get up and nurse her 2 times and she actually stayed asleep between feedings.

I just don't know how I will ever be able to have even a semi-normal day again, or how I could possibly go to back to work and be able to get to work on time, get home and do anything around the house and manage to spend time with my DH and baby too. I am not sure yet if I am going back to work part time or not at all. My husband thinks I will have to go back to work, but I just don't know how I can manage physically or mentally.

Please tell me that this gets easier, that life will get easier with a baby. I just want a resemblance of some sort of schedule or order to my day. I am not one of those people that has to have everything completely organized to a T, or a strict schedule, just want some kind of predictability to my life again.

springbreak33 · September 2010

It does get easier, I promise! Hang in there. I won't be instant but you will get there! I am almost 7 weeks out and every day you get more comfortable! HTH

1ht

BecExpecting · September 2010

I completely agree, the first week and a half were so rough, but things started to look up after that. Things really turned around for me when I started to get more sleep.

Can your husband pitch in at night? I pump during the day (in addition to nursing our daughter on demand) so that my husband can do bottle feedings at night. This hasn't caused any problems with nipple confusion for us. If you're worried about it, your husband could cup-feed your little one - just take the nipple off the bottle and give the baby little sips. It's kind of messy, but it could work! And you could catch up on your sleep!

ToBeClements · September 2010

I feel your pain. It's sooo hard at the beginning, so overwhelming. But it does get better! LO will get better at nursing, more efficient and it won't take as long. Will also start to sleep more inbetween feedings. I didn't think there would be an end in sight the first few weeks. It wasn't until she was about 6 weeks that I started to feel better and like I could handle the day. Just do what you can now, and do your best to not stress out- I know better said than done. IT WILL GET EASIER!! Hang in there!

mcp · September 2010

It absolutely gets easier. Can your partner do the burping for you to give you a little break? And can you hold off on pumping until things settle down a bit? It sounds like you're dealing with a lot and could use whatever break you can get. I think all new moms experience that panic and wonder how they'll ever do it, but it gets better!

hurricanelydiaa · September 2010

It gets better! You and your baby will gradually start to "learn each other" and things will start to fall into place.

nm32216t · September 2010

I know how you feel. My baby is two weeks old and I am still having a really hard time...I keep telling myself that each day that i get through is one day closer to normal. Hang in there. Millions of women have done this that are weaker than you.

gdemars · September 2010

It's tough the first few weeks. I was so weepy for no apparent reason. I felt very overwhelmed especially when my Mom left when DS was 1 week old and DH went back to work at the same time ( he works nights from 4-12 and we have no family here). THe first night alone with him I was sooo scared. But we did it. Just like you will.

As for the length of time your LO nurses, go with it. I found that the predictability of him nursing every 1.5-2 hours, the burping, then the napping was reasuring. The schedule helped to calm me. If your LO nurses for an hour, let them. It will establish your milk supply so you don't have problems later. And enyoy the time cuddling. SCREW the dishes, laundry, etc.

When DS was 5, 6,7 weeks it was easier. He slept longer and was more responsive.

Just as a side topic, have you considered bed sharing? I wanted DS to sleep in a PNP in our room but soon realized that nursing in bed when he woke up was sooooo much easier. We both layed down and I side nursed so I could doze while he ate and he went to sleep when he was done (BM has naturally occuring sleep agents in it that make LO sleepy). We put an extra queen sized mattress next to our queen sized one. It looks silly to have this gigantic bed but it works. DS sleeps on the other and I slept on it with him for the first 6/7 weeks. I've now moved to "our" side and we all sleep great. Move over to nurse and then he goes back to sleep.

Hope everyones advice helps. And remember, even if it seems soooo far away, things do get easier.

h2babe · September 2010

Hang in there mama!!! It will get better, I promise!! My DD was nursing every hour for about 4 weeks, and would not sleep unless she was on us (she still won't nap unless she's on our arms, thankfully she does OK at night).

I also finally learned to nurse laying down, with DD on my side (around 6 weeks), and this helped me tremendously w/ the night feedings. Can your DH help you at all? My DH wakes up at night to change her, give her to me to eat, then he'd rock her to sleep. This has helped me tremendously. We have no families around, so it was all on me and DH.

I also learned to do a lot of things using just one arm! It will be easier, and when your LO starts smiling back at you, all of your fatigue will just melt away.

faithfulfaith · September 2010

i was just thinking how i felt the same way you felt at 9 days around then, and everyone telling me it would get better. now im nearly 8 weeks and it is AMAZINGLY easier. you will get your schedule going - dont worry. remember you are bonding with your baby, and remember to ENJOY it even though your are exhausted because you won't get this sweet time back. let everything else but baby go.

Jaffytaffy · September 2010

You'll get through it! Just keep telling yourself it gets easier and you'll both get past this stage. I'm doing it by myself right now, and in the beginning there were nights when I didn't think I could do it anymore, and I would be crying while I nursed her, but now at 3 weeks she's on more of a predictable schedule, and I plan it out so that I clean during one of her daily naps, and nap with her during the other (she now takes 2 long naps during the day). Just know you can do it, and during the hard times, just remind yourself that it gets easier, and eventually you'll find a rhythm with her. Also, the calmer you can make yourself (I know it's hard when you're sleep deprived in the middle of the night and she's nursing for an hour) the easier it is, just try to talk yourself down, and if you need to cry, then cry, it's cathardic.

Mrs.Cford · September 2010

IT WILL GET BETTER!!!! Just breathe and don't put too much pressure on yourself. Everything is new to both of you so it will all take time!

We are at almost 13 weeks and every week is a whole new world but it just keeps getting better and better, you have so much to look forward too!!!!

thatlauragirl · September 2010

I wish I could give you a hug, because I SO understand how you feel right now. The first few weeks were unbearably hard and I felt like a failure as a mother because I was so exhausted and miserable all the time. Like all the PP said, it will get better! For me, over the past week I've just started coming out of the fog and beginning to enjoy myself. Hang in there, ok?!?!

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