Multiples

life after the babies are born

do you just take things one day at a time or do you try to live your life like it was before, just with babies?

My family just emailed me b/c they are taking a family cruise in May - my initial thought was 5 month old twins and a boat, no thank you. But then I started thinking, maybe we could do this?

I feel that way with just about everything these days - from vacations we normally go on to long runs/hikes H and I would take on the weekends. Do the babies just completely take over your life or are you able to integrate them into you a bit too?

** I'm okay if they do just take over, we wanted to be parents and I'm willing to make sacrifices of myself in order to be a good mom, I'm just curious what it's really like after they're here. 

Re: life after the babies are born

  • Check the cruise line's website- I know that Disney allows pretty much all babies. Most other ships won't let kiddos on until they're 6 months.
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  • I would love to say that I could live my life as before but it would be a big  lie for me. The first year for us was very difficult ,particularly w/ one colicky baby until 4 or 5 months & both not very good sleepers until probably 10 months or so, so we had a lot of trouble going out of routine, etc. I also found it hard to take them both places alone and felt like a slave to eating & sleeping schedules much of the time. 

    However, not to be a downer- there are many women on this board who seem to have taken it all in stride & take their babies everywhere to do everything so it is clearly possible. You also never know what kind of temperament your babies are going to have so that can play into it as well.

    I have friends who tell me how laid back I am as a mom which I think is funny- I am laid back at home as far as not getting freaked out by different things & letting them do their own thing to a certain extent and now that they're older I'm more laid back when we're out of the house, but I admit that doing stuff w/ them outside of the house when they were babies was really intimidating to me. 

  • I'm a super laid back mom- I take the boys everywhere. DH and I don't think twice about going places with them.  The only thing I'm not up for yet is a 10hr drive to visit his parents! argh

    I am blessed with very easy going babies though.  From the moment we brought them home we've taken them to fancy restaurants, out shopping, day trips, over night trips, etc...

  • I would say let it be a wait and see type thing. My girls can be a little high maintenance when they're out of their comfort zone. I couldn't imagine taking them on a cruise at this age now. I know I wouldn't be having a good time, but that's just me. Like I said, just wait and see how your LOs are.
  • To be quite honest, my girls are a bit over 4 months old, and I cannot imagine taking them on a cruise in a couple of weeks.

    For us the first few months have been about survival, and trying to figure out how to do this.  We're just now beginning to fell like we've got a good handle on things, and are just trying to maintain for now.  I imagine in a couple of months we'll be able to figure out how we can get back to some of the things we used to do, and incorporate them into it somehow.  

    bfp 5/17/09 - missed m/c 6/17/09 @ 9w - stopped growing 6w 1d, D&C 6/19/09
    BFP #2 10/13/2009 on our 2nd Wedding Anniversary
    Discovered TWINS during the 6w u/s - what a shocker!
    Delivered on 5/19/2010 at 34 weeks due to pre-e and HELLP syndrome
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  • I might be the exception, but they have completely taken over.  I am pretty anal about their routine/schedule and just can't imagine taking them out of their element for a few more months at least.  We still manage to go for walks, go shopping and get out to the grandparents' houses on select weekends, but other than that, they have taken over.  ;)

    After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
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  • We were just talking about this at brunch a couple of hours ago, about how we didn't think we'd be able to do things like that, but we do!  We take it day by day.  We don't expect life to be the same, but we don't rule anything out until we've really considered how and if it can be done.  I'd totally look into the cruise line and consider what it would be like.
  • We try to do as much as we can, however, their schedule does dictate a lot. I personally wouldn't want to be away from home that long with them. I feel like it would just be more work than it's worth. With sleep and eating schedules and pumping and all the baby crap, it wouldn't feel like a vacation to me.
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  • I would say for the most part they have taken over our lives - One of my girls got off schedule for a couple days and then pedi told us they should be staying up later, so the last 3 days with her have been tough!  So I find getting them off schedule is not worth it. 

    We took them to my in-laws beach house for a week and the 1st half was great having extra help, but by the end of the week they were not on the same schedule, so we had to spend a week getting them back on track after - but it was worth it to get away and have some alone time and extra help for a week.  My girls were only 8 wks at the time, so at 5 months it could be easier. They do require a TON of stuff though!

    As for hikes, etc. you can modify it.  I was in great shape and went to the gym about 5x a week before I got BFP, I haven't seen the gym since March - but I take my girls on a hilly 4 mile walk every morning and it's one of my favorite parts of the day, I feel good because getting excercises, it helps me clear my head and it calms my LOs and on the weekends DH and our dog come and we go to breakfast at an outdoor place.  So it will change, but you can figure out ways to do things you like with them - and I keep hearing that it gets easier too :)

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  • Your life will be run by the babies for awhile.  They'll dictate when eat, sleep and poop.

    ETA-I can't imagine taking all the supplies you would need...that makes me cringe. 

     

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  • I think it really depends on a lot of things--the health and personalities of the babies, how well they're sleeping by that point ;), your own personality and style, etc. I don't think that would have been very fun for us at that point. We were both totally in survival mode for about the first 5 months (basically, until a few weeks after they started STTN; it took us another month to relearn how to STTN ourselves ;)) and after that we've gradually been able to do more. But we do plan around nap schedules and bed times and meals so life is definitely not just like it was before babies! ;)
    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
  • thanks for the honest feedback ladies! I appreciate all of the comments!
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