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Attachment Parenting
I truly, truly don't get it (Long vent)
We've had a recent death in the family that has caused my grandmother (who normally watches Emmy) to be out of town. I've had to leave Emmy with my cousin while I'm in school 2-3x because it just was not feasible for me to miss that much class, or my husband to miss that much work. My cousin has a girl 3 months younger and a boy just about to turn 2.
We raise our kiddos VERY differently, but she knows and I do trust she wouldn't spank my kid. That being said, she's a spanker/hand slapper. Anytime her kids reach for something they aren't supposed to, she will slap/tap their hands (yes, even the baby) and tell them, "no" over and over until they get it, when she will praise them for stopping.
With Emmy, we mostly redirect but she does no what "no" or "That's not for Emmy" means. Some things we've redirected her away from so many times (TV, computers, etc) she will just stand in front of them and point, shake her head and say, "Nope. Nope. Nope." which is pretty funny 
From observing I would say that the hand slapping does NOT get the point across any faster. If anything, she has to go over there more often because unless she is standing right there or on her way across the room, the kids don't stop. I just don't get the point. Is it supposed to make them stop quicker? Because it really doesn't- she has to do it multiple times just like I will redirect Emmy multiple times. And it's not like they remember because of it- they will go right back to the same thing ten minutes later. I just truly, really don't see the point. If anything I think that Emmy has learned MORE self control (as much as a 13 month old can), but that could of course just be differences in our kids (and my kid is perfect, yes?)
I'm just not getting the point. I'm completely ignoring the fact that I disagree on every level with hitting/spanking children let alone infants and just trying to focus on the purpose... and I'm stumped.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I truly, truly don't get it (Long vent)
I don't get it either - but honestly it comes out of parental frustration more than anything I think. I've definitely had a few moments where the thought of a tap/pop/whatever has crossed my mind - but it's totally been because I'm frustrated and looking for an outlet. But I wouldn't ever do it because like you I think it doesn't really address the problem - just teaches that hitting out of frustration is ok. It feels like toddler discipline is as much about "conditioning" ourselves as it is our kids (does that even make sense?).
LOL at the "nope, nope, nope" ;-)
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The "nopes" are sooo funny- I at least know she's getting it! Doesn't always mean she won't touch something- sometimes she'll shake her head and say "nope" AS she's turning the TV on
but at least the foundation is there, right?
I just had this conversation with one of my friends- I totally agree that spanking/hitting/etc. is more due to the parent's frustration than what is best for the child discipline wise. Better for the parent to find another way to let off steam! I think it is much more meaningful to use discipline methods that can teach children to address conflicts, problems, and anger in ways that are not physical.
I just had this conversation with one of my friends- I totally agree that spanking/hitting/etc. is more due to the parent's frustration than what is best for the child discipline wise. Better for the parent to find another way to let off steam! I think it is much more meaningful to use discipline methods that can teach children to address conflicts, problems, and anger in ways that are not physical.
that is adorable.
I've though about slapping Bunny's hand - he went through a phase where his favorite thing to do was claw at my face while he was nursing (I tried *everything* - even broke the swaddle back out) and there were times when I'd be at the end of my rope, with scratches stinging my chin and I'd think "the next time his little hand even reaches up..." but I think he could read my mind because when I'd get to that point he'd settle in and nurse - or unlatch and roll off of me to play. But again - that's my frustration. And he's past the phase now. I hope.