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Attachment Parenting
XP anyone relocated AFTER baby? (NAPR)
I suppose this isn't AP related so feel free to skip over this post....I'm just looking to maybe talk to a mama going through what I currently am. Has anyone relocated after you had kids away from family & friends (as in more than just across town or a few hours away?)
We're relocating half way across the country to the west coast & my family isn't happy about it whatsoever. I can't even mention the move without my mother breaking down in tears. I know this move is best for our family, but I hate feeling guilty about moving our son so far away from his grandparents. I'd love to talk to someone else who has been through this!
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Re: XP anyone relocated AFTER baby? (NAPR)
Our situation was a little different because DH is military, but DS was born in England and we moved to Oklahoma when he was 6 months old. My family is in Maryland, DH's is in California.
We dealt with a lot of guilt from both sides, but mainly mine. They simply didn't understand that we don't have a choice in where we move, the military decides where we go, etc. DHs' parents were upset, but they're both retired military, so they understand the lifestyle in a way my family doesn't.
We spent a month with my family enroute, and it was definitely tough to say goodbye.
I don't really have much advice, other that to say that it does get easier once the move is made and you're focusing on settling in. You know you're making the best choice for your family right now, and that's all you need to say to parents et al. That you're making the right choice for your family, and that you'll be reevaluating your choice in the future when the timing is right (if that's the case).
Hugs. It's tough.
We didn't relocate after baby, but ALL of our family lives in CO and we are in AZ. We moved 2 years ago. Being away from family was really hard at first, but now things are much better. They continually ask when we are moving back now that we have our LO and we tell them that we are happy where we are. For holidays family does not understand why we don't just hop on a plane and visit, but that is just the nature of the beast. DH and I are actually really excited that it will just be us for the holidays this year and we can shower LO with attention and start our own traditions. However, with all that said, I miss my mom and sisters like crazy. I am super close with them and still talk with them every day.
It is hard, and a really tough decision, but do what is best for you and your family. There are great ways to keep in touch with all this technology and we skype with family a lot. It is not the same as visiting, but it lets us see our family and them see us. I have also made a big effort to find mommy friends in my town and it helps a lot. It seems like a lot of us are in the same boat with all of our families living out of state and it is nice to bond that way. I hope this helps. GL!
Oh girl do I feel you.
We just moved to Oahu in order to be better located to both our families instead of just being with my family all the time and never seeing DHs family.
But my family is not very pleased. They are happy for us but sad for them. And it wouldn't be nearly as hard if DS weren't in the picture.
When I told my mom I got my job here she said, "And you turned them down?" And I said, "No, I didn't turn them down." LOL
You have to remember that you're doing this for your own family, and you can't live for your parents or your ILs. You have to live for yourselves. And of course you'll probably still see each other often enough.
But whenever the guilt takes over just remember why you're moving in the first place.