I married a good man...

wife1014 · September 2010

but you bet your ass if my husband behaved the way some of yours do, I would be very verbal about my expectations. Ladies, these guys are walking all over you. Marriage is a compromise, a give and take. I can only hope these situations are solved before your babies are here...it only gets more exhausting and requires more work.

jamiemsmith · September 2010

::slow clap with a standing ovation::

Geback723 · September 2010

Amen!

J+MS · September 2010

I want to hug you for this. Left Hug

srthomas88 · September 2010

tslmom87 · September 2010

J+MS:
I want to hug you for this.

Agreed!!!

J+MS · September 2010

rochella:
wife1014:
but you bet your ass if my husband behaved the way some of yours do, I would be very verbal about my expectations. Ladies, these guys are walking all over you. Marriage is a compromise, a give and take. I can only hope these situations are solved before your babies are here...it only gets more exhausting and requires more work.
I, too, am pretty shocked at how people allow their husbands to treat them. I suggest you all go post on The Nest and see the responses they'd give you about some of the crap you post about your sh!tty Hs.

So true, the nest would tell these girls to DTMF in the worst way

OctoberBabyH · September 2010

Exactly! Is chivalry dead? Are there any gentleman left? My husband has never even raised his VOICE to me, when I even feel he probably should have! (We have been together 9 years and will be celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary in 2 weeks.) He knows how to treat a woman. I don't feel I'm bragging here and I know I shouldn't have to, either. You'd think that these men would grow up or buck up, considering the fact that they are going to be fathers soon and be respectful, tolerant and attentive to their women!? It's a damn shame that some women let this behavior slide. Stand up for yourselves, ladies!

monkiem · September 2010

Thank you, darling, for posting this. I think it's disgusting and self-deprecating the way some girls let their significant others treat them - or the lack thereof.

I am glad I married someone who comes home exhausted from a day spent with 125 of other peoples' children, and before he makes himself comfortable, he makes sure I am comfortable, and that I don't need him to do anything. I keep a clean home for him, make sure dinner is cooked by the time he gets home, make sure the clothes on his back are clean, fresh and ironed. I also plan on raising good, respectful children for him, and WITH him. Key word is WITH.

I think any self-respecting woman would, instead of biitching to a board full of strangers about the behaviour of their significant others, have serious and brutally honest conversation with said significant others.

OctoberBabyH · September 2010

monkiem:
Thank you, darling, for posting this. I think it's disgusting and self-deprecating the way some girls let their significant others treat them - or the lack thereof.
I am glad I married someone who comes home exhausted from a day spent with 125 of other peoples' children, and before he makes himself comfortable, he makes sure I am comfortable, and that I don't need him to do anything. I keep a clean home for him, make sure dinner is cooked by the time he gets home, make sure the clothes on his back are clean, fresh and ironed. I also plan on raising good, respectful children for him, and WITH him. Key word is WITH.
I think any self-respecting woman would, instead of biitching to a board full of strangers about the behaviour of their significant others, have serious and brutally honest conversation with said significant others.

! ! ! Monkiem, you have no idea how many times I have seen women on here biiiiitch that their SOs and DHs complain bc they have to "babysit" their kids. YOU DO NOT BABYSIT YOUR OWN CHILDREN.

Grrr...

monkiem · September 2010

OctoberBabyH:
monkiem:
Thank you, darling, for posting this. I think it's disgusting and self-deprecating the way some girls let their significant others treat them - or the lack thereof.
I am glad I married someone who comes home exhausted from a day spent with 125 of other peoples' children, and before he makes himself comfortable, he makes sure I am comfortable, and that I don't need him to do anything. I keep a clean home for him, make sure dinner is cooked by the time he gets home, make sure the clothes on his back are clean, fresh and ironed. I also plan on raising good, respectful children for him, and WITH him. Key word is WITH.
I think any self-respecting woman would, instead of biitching to a board full of strangers about the behaviour of their significant others, have serious and brutally honest conversation with said significant others.

! ! ! Monkiem, you have no idea how many times I have seen women on here biiiiitch that their SOs and DHs complain bc they have to "babysit" their kids. YOU DO NOT BABYSIT YOUR OWN CHILDREN.
Grrr...

Ha. The day DH says that he is on babysitting duty with our kids, is the day I seriously consider divorce. Unless, he is joking, and follows that up with an excited rendition of what he plans on doing with the kids during that time.

MrsQueale · September 2010

monkiem:

Thank you, darling, for posting this. I think it's disgusting and self-deprecating the way some girls let their significant others treat them - or the lack thereof.

I am glad I married someone who comes home exhausted from a day spent with 125 of other peoples' children, and before he makes himself comfortable, he makes sure I am comfortable, and that I don't need him to do anything. I keep a clean home for him, make sure dinner is cooked by the time he gets home, make sure the clothes on his back are clean, fresh and ironed. I also plan on raising good, respectful children for him, and WITH him. Key word is WITH.

I think any self-respecting woman would, instead of biitching to a board full of strangers about the behaviour of their significant others, have serious and brutally honest conversation with said significant others.

This! If I was ever treated like that I would speak up for myself and if that changed nothing I would not stay around.

I also think that if someone decideds to put up with any kind disrespect they have little right to complain. They decided to stay in that situation, and by doing so it shows their SO or DH that that kind of behavior is ok. Why would they want to change if they are getting away with it?

LinnyAnne10 · September 2010

this is very true.

I was having problems with my husband, and I talked to him about it. and we worked things out. Now he is very attentive, and helps out so much more around the house.

It helps to just talk to them and tell them that there is something wrong.

Or if you are not comfortable talking to them, write a letter!

LuckyladyJ · September 2010

Totally Agree

J+MS · September 2010

~LittleOne~:
this is very true.
I was having problems with my husband, and I talked to him about it. and we worked things out. Now he is very attentive, and helps out so much more around the house.
It helps to just talk to them and tell them that there is something wrong.

Or if you are not comfortable talking to them, write a letter!

yes, communicate!!! Talk to each other, it makes marriage flow so much smoother!

LinnyAnne10 · September 2010

~LittleOne~:
this is very true.
I was having problems with my husband, and I talked to him about it. and we worked things out. Now he is very attentive, and helps out so much more around the house.
It helps to just talk to them and tell them that there is something wrong.

Or if you are not comfortable talking to them, write a letter!

I wanted to add on more to the writing a letter.. For me I suck at remembering everything that I want to talk about it, and its easier for me to write it down. My husband is the same way. Took us a bit but we figured out how what works for us, and communicating through letters worked. We talk about what we want, and it helps.

lilmgirl · September 2010

What did I miss?

stephanieroyer · September 2010

I see all these "DH Vents" on here all the time and everytime i read one i think to myself "man i have it good" DH is amazing, i dont understand how you woman let your husbands treat you like crap...that sh!t wouldnt fly in my house...i love my husband

mrschahbar · September 2010

jamiemsmith:
::slow clap with a standing ovation::

I agree! I may not post much but I read a lot and couldn't agree more.

J+MS · September 2010

amaragee:
Ugh, if it's time for me to 'put on my big girl panties,' it's time for some of you ladies to get off your high horses. Get this - I also married a fantastic man who is going to be an incredible father!
"Wait, how is that possible?! I thought you were complaining to a 'board full of strangers' about his immature friends, so your husband must be a douchbag." News flash to you Judgy-McJudgersons: His two annoying friends don't define who he is, which is why I married him, not his friends.
And can I just say before I put this behind me - and knowing full well that someone (or multiple someones) will find some way to make fun of me for it - the holier-than-thou responses are so disappointing. A bunch of crap from women who I was kind of hoping to get to know a little better, which is - god forbid - why I posted up here in the first place, heck it's why I even *joined* the Bump in the first place, because I see how some of you have fostered very nice friendships with one another, and I was kind of hoping to reach out and achieve the same thing.
Last but certainly not least, thank you for the few women who actually offered well-intentioned advice. It was much appreciated, and just helped reinforce what I was planning on doing anyway - DH and I already figured out a solution

1. I don't think your H is a douche. I think the fact that you were putting up with something that is obviously bothering you is silly though.

2. I don't think TB is a good place to put all your personal stuff out there for all the world to see...joking about DH not cooking dinner or having sex because of the baby is one thing, posting about being seriously disrespected is another.

3. If you do want to post/vent about your drama, fine but be prepared to take the advice/comments with a grain of salt and a sense of humor. You can make some great friendships here. GL.

monkiem · September 2010

amaragee:
Ugh, if it's time for me to 'put on my big girl panties,' it's time for some of you ladies to get off your high horses. Get this - I also married a fantastic man who is going to be an incredible father!
"Wait, how is that possible?! I thought you were complaining to a 'board full of strangers' about his immature friends, so your husband must be a douchbag." News flash to you Judgy-McJudgersons: His two annoying friends don't define who he is, which is why I married him, not his friends.
And can I just say before I put this behind me - and knowing full well that someone (or multiple someones) will find some way to make fun of me for it - the holier-than-thou responses are so disappointing. A bunch of crap from women who I was kind of hoping to get to know a little better, which is - god forbid - why I posted up here in the first place, heck it's why I even *joined* the Bump in the first place, because I see how some of you have fostered very nice friendships with one another, and I was kind of hoping to reach out and achieve the same thing.
Last but certainly not least, thank you for the few women who actually offered well-intentioned advice. It was much appreciated, and just helped reinforce what I was planning on doing anyway - DH and I already figured out a solution

Riiiiight.

Because birds of the feather....tend to flock together...

You know, you are what you hang out with. When I was growing up, my parents always told me to watch who I hung out with...people do judge. It's human nature.

We were giving you our opinions. That's it. You asked for them...this is a message board - not your bloody personal blog. And so sorry if some of us have absolutely no pity. If it happened once...ok. I'm all for keeping friends safe. After that, I'd put my foot down.

wife1014 · September 2010

J+MS:
amaragee:

Ugh, if it's time for me to 'put on my big girl panties,' it's time for some of you ladies to get off your high horses. Get this - I also married a fantastic man who is going to be an incredible father!

"Wait, how is that possible?! I thought you were complaining to a 'board full of strangers' about his immature friends, so your husband must be a douchbag." News flash to you Judgy-McJudgersons: His two annoying friends don't define who he is, which is why I married him, not his friends.

And can I just say before I put this behind me - and knowing full well that someone (or multiple someones) will find some way to make fun of me for it - the holier-than-thou responses are so disappointing. A bunch of crap from women who I was kind of hoping to get to know a little better, which is - god forbid - why I posted up here in the first place, heck it's why I even *joined* the Bump in the first place, because I see how some of you have fostered very nice friendships with one another, and I was kind of hoping to reach out and achieve the same thing.

Last but certainly not least, thank you for the few women who actually offered well-intentioned advice. It was much appreciated, and just helped reinforce what I was planning on doing anyway - DH and I already figured out a solution

1. I don't think your H is a douche. I think the fact that you were putting up with something that is obviously bothering you is silly though.

2. I don't think TB is a good place to put all your personal stuff out there for all the world to see...joking about DH not cooking dinner or having sex because of the baby is one thing, posting about being seriously disrespected is another.

3. If you do want to post/vent about your drama, fine but be prepared to take the advice/comments with a grain of salt and a sense of humor. You can make some great friendships here. GL.

very well said J+MS.

OctoberBabyH · September 2010

wife1014:
J+MS:
amaragee:

Ugh, if it's time for me to 'put on my big girl panties,' it's time for some of you ladies to get off your high horses. Get this - I also married a fantastic man who is going to be an incredible father!

"Wait, how is that possible?! I thought you were complaining to a 'board full of strangers' about his immature friends, so your husband must be a douchbag." News flash to you Judgy-McJudgersons: His two annoying friends don't define who he is, which is why I married him, not his friends.

And can I just say before I put this behind me - and knowing full well that someone (or multiple someones) will find some way to make fun of me for it - the holier-than-thou responses are so disappointing. A bunch of crap from women who I was kind of hoping to get to know a little better, which is - god forbid - why I posted up here in the first place, heck it's why I even *joined* the Bump in the first place, because I see how some of you have fostered very nice friendships with one another, and I was kind of hoping to reach out and achieve the same thing.

Last but certainly not least, thank you for the few women who actually offered well-intentioned advice. It was much appreciated, and just helped reinforce what I was planning on doing anyway - DH and I already figured out a solution

1. I don't think your H is a douche. I think the fact that you were putting up with something that is obviously bothering you is silly though.

2. I don't think TB is a good place to put all your personal stuff out there for all the world to see...joking about DH not cooking dinner or having sex because of the baby is one thing, posting about being seriously disrespected is another.

3. If you do want to post/vent about your drama, fine but be prepared to take the advice/comments with a grain of salt and a sense of humor. You can make some great friendships here. GL.

very well said J+MS.

Yes

babyonthebrain2010 · September 2010

yeah seeing how some men treat their wives definitely makes me appreciate the one I've got.

LuckyladyJ · September 2010

stephanieroyer:
I see all these "DH Vents" on here all the time and everytime i read one i think to myself "man i have it good" DH is amazing, i dont understand how you woman let your husbands treat you like crap...that sh!t wouldnt fly in my house...i love my husband

\

off topic but I love your little girls hat...

AmandaJordan1985 · September 2010

I agree with OP. I was in a bad relationship which is why I left...I'll be damned if someone disrespects me like that. Also, think of the child you have coming...just saying.

mom2hay · September 2010

OctoberBabyH:
monkiem:
Thank you, darling, for posting this. I think it's disgusting and self-deprecating the way some girls let their significant others treat them - or the lack thereof.
I am glad I married someone who comes home exhausted from a day spent with 125 of other peoples' children, and before he makes himself comfortable, he makes sure I am comfortable, and that I don't need him to do anything. I keep a clean home for him, make sure dinner is cooked by the time he gets home, make sure the clothes on his back are clean, fresh and ironed. I also plan on raising good, respectful children for him, and WITH him. Key word is WITH.
I think any self-respecting woman would, instead of biitching to a board full of strangers about the behaviour of their significant others, have serious and brutally honest conversation with said significant others.

! ! ! Monkiem, you have no idea how many times I have seen women on here biiiiitch that their SOs and DHs complain bc they have to "babysit" their kids. YOU DO NOT BABYSIT YOUR OWN CHILDREN.
Grrr...

My fiance and I always laugh when guys say this. Our neighbor said this to him not too long ago and my fiance said "oh does the girls have friends over" and our neighbor said "no just have to babysit my girls while the wife works" Indifferent

mom2hay · September 2010

AmandaJordan1985:
I agree with OP. I was in a bad relationship which is why I left...I'll be damned if someone disrespects me like that. Also, think of the child you have coming...just saying.

This, same for me!! I can't stand when people post stuff about how their husbands lie, cheat, abuse them etc but they continue to go back and put up with the crap "because they love them". I don't feel sorry for anyone who continues to let their self be abused. Is it easy to pick up and leave, especially when you have a child, no money etc, NO but that is not a reason to stay.

AmandaJordan1985 · September 2010

mom2hay:
AmandaJordan1985:
I agree with OP. I was in a bad relationship which is why I left...I'll be damned if someone disrespects me like that. Also, think of the child you have coming...just saying.
This, same for me!! I can't stand when people post stuff about how their husbands lie, cheat, abuse them etc but they continue to go back and put up with the crap "because they love them". I don't feel sorry for anyone who continues to let their self be abused. Is it easy to pick up and leave, especially when you have a child, no money etc, NO but that is not a reason to stay.

Yes

A_Schmitz · September 2010

I have to say I'm married to a wonderful man! Yes we have ups and downs but most marriages does! With my first in the beginng he didn't seem to interested in the baby and it got me so upset and it was hard bc I felt I was doing it all myself. But that changed fast, I cracked down on it!! I have to say he is so wonderful with our 18mon and it brings tears to my eyes to see him with hi! All I know is if he was lazy and didn't help I'd def kick him out! But what got us through it was COMMUINICATiON, once u stop talking you loose that connection! With ds2 it's going to be a total 180 since he knows what to expect! I personally feel if your hinny doesn't respect you as a person you def aren't ready to being a child in thr world too!

jamiemsmith · September 2010

J+MS:
amaragee:
Ugh, if it's time for me to 'put on my big girl panties,' it's time for some of you ladies to get off your high horses. Get this - I also married a fantastic man who is going to be an incredible father!
"Wait, how is that possible?! I thought you were complaining to a 'board full of strangers' about his immature friends, so your husband must be a douchbag." News flash to you Judgy-McJudgersons: His two annoying friends don't define who he is, which is why I married him, not his friends.
And can I just say before I put this behind me - and knowing full well that someone (or multiple someones) will find some way to make fun of me for it - the holier-than-thou responses are so disappointing. A bunch of crap from women who I was kind of hoping to get to know a little better, which is - god forbid - why I posted up here in the first place, heck it's why I even *joined* the Bump in the first place, because I see how some of you have fostered very nice friendships with one another, and I was kind of hoping to reach out and achieve the same thing.
Last but certainly not least, thank you for the few women who actually offered well-intentioned advice. It was much appreciated, and just helped reinforce what I was planning on doing anyway - DH and I already figured out a solution
1. I don't think your H is a douche. I think the fact that you were putting up with something that is obviously bothering you is silly though.
2. I don't think TB is a good place to put all your personal stuff out there for all the world to see...joking about DH not cooking dinner or having sex because of the baby is one thing, posting about being seriously disrespected is another.
3. If you do want to post/vent about your drama, fine but be prepared to take the advice/comments with a grain of salt and a sense of humor. You can make some great friendships here. GL.

J+MS has said it well! Plus, you have to realize that we see this stuff very often. It's not that we're attacking you, we're attacking the situation. Best of luck with everything.

:Hops back on my high horse:

globetrotting7 · September 2010

You are my hero. I love you for posting this. My thoughts exactly. Wink

stephanieroyer · September 2010

LuckyladyJ:

stephanieroyer:
I see all these "DH Vents" on here all the time and everytime i read one i think to myself "man i have it good" DH is amazing, i dont understand how you woman let your husbands treat you like crap...that sh!t wouldnt fly in my house...i love my husband
\

off topic but I love your little girls hat...

Thanks

williaw · September 2010

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