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"You can't do it..."

BabyShippBabyShipp member
in 2nd Trimester
Thanks for the support and confidence guys!  So I was talking about my desire to try to birth naturally with a few coworkers.  Three of them pretty much agreed that I can't do it because their gf's/wives couldn't.  Jerks.  Way to piss off the pregnant lady. 
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Re: "You can't do it..."

  • JessiRayeJessiRaye member
    I always just told people I was keeping an open mind about L&D because I didn't want to hear every horror story about their deliveries. That usually shut them up:) GL! I hope you get your natural delivery just to prove them wrongWink
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  • Soap1Soap1 member
    Yea I hate when people say it.  I think it's one thing to be honest about how hard it is (I couldn't make it w/ my first but plan to try again w/ my 2nd) but it's another to have a rude attitude about it!
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  • TheCricketTheCricket member
    Wow. Of course you can! I think that when people say things like this, it is more to reassure themselves that the way they did something is superior. But... we all know that everyone has different physical and/or emotional limits, and no one is right or wrong. Good luck, and have fun rubbing it their faces after the fact. Wink
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  • Beccaboo0713Beccaboo0713 member
    That's just the way people are. They like to shoot down other peoples ambitions. Not just in pregnancy but in life. Best thing you can do is blow them off, go and do what you want to/plan to do anyway, and then let them know after that all their nay saying was all for naught. Big Smile
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  • kg_08kg_08 member

    I always hated that. Nobody can say for sure, and if anything they should at least be supportive!

    When I was in L&D, I heard a lady screaming from the other room, so DH and I figured she had to be pushing. Come to find out that out of 3 ladies on that floor, we were all at 5 cm.  The other 2 both wanted their epi because it took them almost 24 hours just to get to that point, but I was totally fine.

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  • saxyberrysaxyberry
    People have done it for millions of years.  Anyone who thinks you can't is sadly mistaken.  I am planning on going to a birth center for my delivery, the common response I get is, "For your first? Why not go to a hospital first?"  I'm only planning on having 2 kids, why would I go to a hospital when it goes against everything I want.  People are jaded by what they know, they are too reliant on technology.  Birth is a natural body process, usually not a medical emergency, and people forget that a lot of the time. 
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  • spursgirl10spursgirl10 member

    imagesaxyberry:
    People have done it for millions of years.  Anyone who thinks you can't is sadly mistaken.  I am planning on going to a birth center for my delivery, the common response I get is, "For your first? Why not go to a hospital first?"  I'm only planning on having 2 kids, why would I go to a hospital when it goes against everything I want.  People are jaded by what they know, they are too reliant on technology.  Birth is a natural body process, usually not a medical emergency, and people forget that a lot of the time. 

    I agree with you but I think it's because all people ever hear about is the horror stories.  Nobody ever hears about the natural way and the simplicity of it.  We all hear about the bad things that can go wrong so society tends to lean towards technology incase of an emergency.  I wanted to go natural with my first but one, he was born a month early because my amniotic fluid was leaking, I never had my water break on its own.  2nd after trying for 36 hours his heart rate started to slow so they had to perform an emergency C section.  When he was born the cord was wrapped so tightly around his neck that he was purple.  So had I not been at a hospital who knows what would have happened.  Because of that I won't be anywhere but a hospital this time.  I am too scared to take the chance.  But my decision is based solely on my experience.  My sister had natural births with both her daughters and would do it again.   I wasn't that lucky.  But I am okay with it.  Nobody knows what is going to happen until it's happening.  So to assume one way or the other seems silly to me. 

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  • TiffanyTheMomTiffanyTheMom member
    I think people just like to put in their two cents. A few months ago a friend planned to deliver her baby natural if it killed her, and she'd be totally condescending to anyone who wanted to get an epi. Now that she's seen how hard it is, she's much more understanding- and tells anyone who declares they're having a med-free birth they're her hero. I think that's a much more appropriate response!
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  • ~adamwife~~adamwife~ member

    You can totally do it.  I've done it, my best friend has done it (twice), my MIL did it (three times), my mother did it (four times), my midwife did it (seven times)...women have been doing it naturally for centuries.

    Try not to listen to the unsupportive people.  Pick up a good book, like Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, that is full of positive birth stories and you'll feel much more inspired.  I don't really know why people don't want to help give you confidence, but that's their issue. 

    Good luck!

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  • purpledawgypurpledawgy member
    Well we know they (men) couldn't do it! lol! What they don't know is that every woman and every labor is different. There is no way that anyone could possibly know that you can or can't do it, only you know.
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  • BabyShippBabyShipp member

    Thanks ladies!  I actually have Ina Mays Guide to Childbirth and am reading it.  Sort of what got us on the subject because one of them picked up the book and was curious what all it was about (were a bit freaked out by the pictures, if that tells you anything about the folks I'm dealing with)

    I'm not totally ruling out an epi or anything else for that matter.  I'm delivering in the hospital, with an OB.  My OB suggested bradley classes and a doula if I can find one I like.  I'm going in with the mind set I can do this naturally and if anything happens during, I'll be at the hospital and can switch it up. :)   I love my plan so far, but I'm still working on it. 

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