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High-Risk Pregnancy
Intro and questions about planning
Hi ladies,
I posted a couple of days ago asking if anyone else had received a similar diagnosis to mine. It seems that no one has (not surprising, I've been told it's pretty rare). I normally post on my local board, but feel like this is a much better place for my questions.
Four years ago, I lost my son at almost 22w due to a major heart defect and several other issues. In 2008, my sweet daughter was born healthy and happy after a sudden onset of pre-e at the end of my pregnancy. At my big u/s this past week, the peri found an issue with our baby's umbilical vein (it runs between the belly button and baby's heart). Making people is obviously not my strong suit!
Our dx has a very high risk of stillbirth in the early 3rd tri. Statistically, there is about a 45-50% survival rate for baby's with this dx. I'm scared out of my mind and almost just feel like I want to ignore the fact that I'm even pregnant.
With these odds, I'm apprehensive about planning too much. I almost want to just wait to set up the nursery until after baby is here. Is that crazy of me? I hate the thought of losing the baby and coming home to a nursery full of baby stuff. I can't tell if I'm being realistic or being a huge, crazy pessimist. Anyone have some advice?
Ashley
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Intro and questions about planning
I'm sorry you find yourself in this difficult situation. I am an otherwise healthy person who also seems to struggle with creating life. I echo your thoughts/feelings about planning. We had a horrible loss just over a year ago & were so excited when I became pregnant this spring. Unfortunately, it's not been an easy pregnancy & everytime I started feeling hopeful & began planning (nursery, shower, colors, etc) something went wrong. So, I stopped planning and the nursery sat still, untouched. This will be our first child so there is a part of me that has felt robbed of the joy that "normal" healthy pregnant women get to experience. But, not planning was what I had to do for myself & for my husband. When I reached 32 weeks I decided it was time to plan again, it was the goal i'd set for myself.
So, you have to do what creates the least stress in your pregnancy. Not planning doesn't negate your pregnancy or your enthusiasm. It may be what keeps you healthy. I believe that it is a Jewish tradition NOT to bring anything baby related into the house prior to their birth.
Whatever you decide, I wish you peace & health. good luck!
Thank you so much for the nice response. After I read it, I looked up your comment on the Jewish tradition and found that it's actually common in lots of cultures to not buy anything for the baby until it arrives.
I like your advice of doing whatever creates the least stress. Right now, that's not planning. Maybe later, as we get more answers about baby's dx I'll start to feel more comfortable with it all.
I hope that the remainder of your pregnancy goes smoothly and that you are holding your healthy baby in your arms at the end of it all. Good luck!
Best advice I've been given throughout my high risk pregnancy:
"Remember, she only needs a car seat, some diapers, and some wipes. Everything else, you can get later."
Enjoy the time you have with your baby NOW, and if you want to wait to set up a nursery, especially since you've been through the pain of a loss, that's OK.
And for support on a high risk pregnancy, check out this blog (check the dates from summer and fall 2008) sgirl79.blogspot.com
Good luck to your family and your little one!