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Feeling sad

bliss611bliss611 member
in Attachment Parenting

I've been back at work for 6 weeks and with a demaning job and 1.5 hour commute each way, I feel like I never see my baby. I usually get home around 6:30. DS usually gets sleepy around 9 - 9:30ish so I have 3 hours but that includes us having dinner, his bath, feeding him twice (solids once and a bottle once).

Only fun time is abotu 30 mins when I get home and I love to catch him in that playing mood but I'm usually exhausted from work & commute so I don't even fully enjoy it.

He sleeps in the co-sleeper next to me (going to his crib in another room soon) but I keep him in our bed when he wakes up to nurse at night. And I find it sad that's my special time with him - when I'm half asleep.

Maybe I'm just being too needy but I really miss my LO.

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Re: Feeling sad

  • BFab11BFab11 member
    It's totally normal to miss your LO!!!  That sucks, I'm sorry you don't get the quality (or quantity) time with him that you want.
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  • robinadornorobinadorno
    :( I can relate. I have a 1 hour commute each way. My job has been flexible and let me go hourly for this 1st year so I work 2-4 days a week, but that's ending in January. I miss my LO so much during the day. I am trying to get a home day care license right now. I don't want to miss one day with him. Weigh your options and see if there is another alternative to that job. You do the best you can for your circumstances and the most important thing you have for your LO is love. The extremely short time my son was in day care I saw some mom's drop their crying infants on the floor like a sack of potatoes and not look back. I was horrified! The fact that you are feeling emotion  and concern for your LO shows how loved and lucky he is.
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  • QuazelQuazel member

    On the plus side, you are a great mom trying to take care of and love her baby the best way you can.  I completely understand.  Returning to work does get easier but it still sucks.  DH and I were against bedsharing but ended up doing it to keep me sane through BFing.  We are so glad we did it because I truly feel DS and I are much better connected for it.  Even though DH would like him out of our bed now, he understands I am not ready to let that go since I only spend a few hours a day with him too.  I am not saying you should bedshare but if you aren't ready to move your LO out, then don't!

    How are your chores divided?  Because of the little time I have at home at night, DH and I have worked into our budget and schedule that he cooks one night a week, we order in one night and eat out one night, I cook the rest.  That lessens a lot of the dinner pressure on me.  Also, I never, ever allow myself to feel guilty for just sitting on the floor and playing with DS.  The world could explode around us but nothing would be more important than my time with DS.   Letting go of the "I still have to..." mentality really helped me enjoy my time.

    Good luck, I know this is hard, frustrating, saddening, etc. 

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