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February 2011 Moms
AACraven85
member
it's hard not to judge...
AACraven85
member
I have a friend who found out somewhat recently that she was pregnant with baby #3. She told me today she's been bleeding and that she is being monitored by the dr.- because most likely it is a miscarriage (betas not doubling like they should). On the one hand I feel for her. I do. I've been through a m/c and understand how awful it is.
On the other hand, she is a heavy smoker. Doesn't that increase your risk of m/c exponentially? She's smoked before and during all of her pregnancies... why are people so convinced that it isn't harmful, with all the evidence out there? Or if they know, why don't they care enough to quit??? So frustrating. I especially hate the argument, "well my mom smoked with me and I turned out ok". Grrr
This discussion has been closed.
Re: it's hard not to judge...
I understand how hard it is not to judge but take it from a previous smoker, it isn't just that easy. I started smoking when my son was 3 (he is 10 now) and tried over and over again to quit. But I had no support system. As for your friend, if she is that heavy of a smoker, it can cause alot of hard and stress to her body just like it does to the baby. I was able to put them down when I was 8 weeks pregnant with the help of my hubby. If she doesn't have a support system then it would make it harder for her to quit.
I hate the argument my mom smoked with me, also. I will send some T&Ps to your friend.
Is there anyway for me to support her, or will it just come off preachy?
Has she expressed the "want" to quit? If she hasn't then it will probably sound preachy. If she has expressed the desire to quit, then by all means you can be supportive. Be there if she needs to talk (thats what we friends do anyways, right,) give her lifesavers (great quitting tool,) just show her that you support her decision. It will be hard and it will take time. She will have set backs and the cravings the first month or so is horrible. But it gets easier!!
Good luck to you. I know it is hard in your shoes also, cause you just want to shake her!!
That's the tricky part, she did try and quit a year or so ago. However it was more about how much cigs cost than health, or at least that is what I remember her mentioning. I guess my hands are tied on this one- it's just hard to watch.
A friend of mine was a heavy smoker when she became pregnant. She was told not to quit cold turkey because the stress of nicotine withdrawal can be dangerous for the baby was well. She was allowed no more than 5 cigarettes a day. And she did eventually quit.
My grandfather and I joke around that the only thing worse than a smoker is an ex-smoker. I can smell it over an hr after H has had one. LO is due right around the 5 yr anniv of my quitting smoking. H has been told that a month before LO is due he has to quit, no choice, no games. My job recently sent an email that they will cover a quit program and either the gum or patches for employees and their spouses.
While I try not to judge I can't stand when people tell me they can't quit because it's too hard, and they haven't even tried.
I'm totally judgey on this topic. It just seems like such a selfish thing, to jeopardize the health of a tiny baby, and for what? Not even smokers can tell you what they like about it...bad breath, wrinkles, stinky clothes, not to mention cancer and that's its insanely expensive. The whole addiction thing just doesn't fly with me either, since millions and millions of people have successfully quit. It makes me wonder, if no one had ever told a smoker that cigarettes are addicting, would it be so hard for them to quit?
FYI, all these judgements are coming from someone who used to smoke back when I was young and dumb enough to think it was cool...I quit cold turkey 10+ years ago. You can do it too, just try it!!
UGH. this post makes me want to have a cigarette!
I love smoking, I love everything about it. I love the way it smells, I love the way it tastes, I love the way I feel when I smoke. I love it. I love it. I love it.
I have been quitting for 7 years, off and on. I can do without the drinking, sushi, hot dogs, bacon, cold cuts, bleu cheese, medicine, etc., etc., etc, no problem....but the smoking, I want to smoke so bad. I also quit smoking when we began trying to conceive. I was, at that time, a social smoker.
FYI, from what I have read, drinking is far more harmful than smoking is, and people are so protective and accepting over alcohol. Smoking is far more addictive than alcohol is. In pregnancy you regularly hear people say, well you can have a glass of alcohol. They never say, well you can have just one cigarette. (not that I would if they did, I wouldn't. I'm just saying)
To be honest I'm with you on this. I quit smoking before TTC last pregnancy that ended in M/C, I started again and at around 5 wks with this pregnancy I quit again. I was afraid to quit cold turkey so I limited to about 5 a day and then just couldn't handle it any more. But DH still smokes. I get mad at him b/c he smells so bad and don't let him near me until he brushes his teeth and changes after EVERY one. But in the back of my head I'm thinking how I want to smoke. I would NEVER do it but I think about it. I'm on the team though that I would never drink while pregnant, heck I won't even take a Tylonol or Tums.
I am on the same team, except Collace, cause I went a week without pooing, and I thought well this isn't healthy either. hahaha. I wouldn't ever take a sip of alcohol, just not worth it to me. I just think its ironic how much less harmful smoking is than drinking, but how much more harshly its judged. Good to know someone else is out there that feels the same way about wanting to have a smoke though.
No offense, but that is the craziest thing I have ever heard. How could you even think that is possible? Perhaps if you are thinking that smoking 1 cig is better than a bottle of wine a day then I may see your point. However, there is NO WAY that 1 cig is better for the baby than 1 glass of wine. That's just an asinine comment. There is nothing in a cigarette that could possibly benefit the mother or the baby. now a glass of wine is a different story. I'm not saying that drinking is "good" for the baby, but come on...Please post a link to your info on the matter. I would like to read this myself.