- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Infertility
cherry58
member
Telling people how to support you?
cherry58
member
in Infertility
Have you done this with friends and family? If so, at what point and how?
I had dinner with a great friend last night who knows about our IF. While she is a very good listener and supporter, she doesn't quite get what upsets me and I figure it's my fault for not telling her.
She asked how we were doing, etc. and even said how unfair it is for us to go through IF and how someday it will work out and she'll throw me a shower. Then she went on for twenty minutes about her pregnant friend, the minor complications said friend was having, and then details of the baby shower she is throwing for her this weekend. I should have said something right then but wasn't sure how because I was flooded with emotions (sad, angry, jealous... you name it).
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Telling people how to support you?
I think sometimes people just aren't sure of what to say (or not say)...you might just drop her a note (might be easier than talking face to face) and let her know what gets you down, etc. I had a hard time with a friend just yesterday. My first IUI cycle was a bust and I called her to tell her AF was here and she said, "it's probably because you were so stressed out." Basically insinuating it didn't work because my stress level caused my period to show up early. I wasn't rude to her but basically told her my dinner was on the table and I had to go! Come to think of it...she said some other "not very supportive things" to me a while back too...BUT I DIGRESS! I would just tell her how this makes you feel...she may not be able to fully understand but she doesn't have to, if she's your friend, she'll be supportive and will know how to react in the future. Best of luck to you! ((HUGS))
Me: 32 - Stage II Endo / DH: 36 - Low count and morphology (1%)
IUIs 1-3 BFN, lap Dec. 2010, IUIs 4-6 BFN
IVF w/ICSI #1 - ER 2/8: 24R 19M 9F ET 2/13 2-5 day blasts (no frosties) = BFP - b/g twins!
E & C Born 10/19/2012
Thanks Jessica, I appreciate the thoughts. I figured I'd have to do it in person, but I think an email would be easier for me and just as helpful. I know my friend just wants to help but doesn't understand.
I can't believe your friend said that but I can relate to how you reacted completely! I've never read/heard anything about stress causing AF to come early or to prevent implantation.