3rd Trimester

No sex

Anyone else have a DH who won't go near them sexually (aside from occassionaly poking at your newly larger boobs) no matter what you do for them even if you tell them it kind of bugs you and makes you feel unattractive? 

Re: No sex

  • Dh and I go rounds about this and then it was a no go any way because I got put on pelvic rest until now and we still havent had sex... whatever... you get over it... really you do... its a self preservation thing... GL maybe your DH will come around
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  • If he poked me in the boob, I would slap the shiit out of him.

    That being said, men have weird issues about sex and pregnancy. Find out why he is with holding and talk about it.

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  • My H and I are on a break until Ellie gets here. He has a hard time getting aroused when he feels her moving and then I get self conscious that it's because he got a finger stuck in a stretch mark or something, and then I cry and he has even harder time getting aroused. It was exhausting. Bahaha.

    It may not be what you're wanting but there are things beside intercours that can be satisfying and still maintain that intimate bond until LO is born if that's what is bothering him. I suggest another talk and be very blunt about how you feel and what you need from him.

    You said it kinda bugs you above which suggest you didn't approach it with as much honesty as this kind of issue needs. I could be wrong. That's just the impression I got.

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  • I've heard people say that their husbands talk about "not wanting to poke the baby" etc.  I don't know if that is just an excuse or if they really think that could happen.  I would just try to talk to him about it. 

     

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  • I am with you 100%.  I can count on one hand the # of times we've had sex this pregnancy. No advice here except to just accept the fact that men are big, immature babies.  I don't know wtf the problem is but it's just about the worst thing to do to a pregnant wife : (
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  • I was waiting all 2nd trimester for the famous "increased sex drive" to kick in. Sadly, it never did. Now I just feel like a whale and sex doesn't even feel good. So my poor H has been going without it. It's caused some tension between us so I'm hoping this doesn't last much longer and we can get back to business as usual.
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  • We went through the same issues. Early on, I was so sick I didn't want to have sex at all. During the second trimester, we tried a few times but it took him forever to "finish", so we just gave up. I've had many crying fits, claiming he is unattracted to me now, He swears he thinks I'm as beautiful as ever and tells me so every day. I think he just has some kind of mental block. There is A LOT going on in his head that you might not know about. Plus he might feel that he doesn't want to be the one to initiate bc you are the one that spends most of the time uncomfortable. So maybe he is just waiting until you are ready.

     I agree with the other posters that recommend that you talk to him about it. Its a very common thing for the sex to diminish when you are pregnant. But like other posters said as well, there are other things you guys can do to keep your intimacy. My husband rubs my feet and ankles, and cuddles with me on the couch and in bed, we kiss and hug, and although the sex has slowed down, we are still in love with each other more than ever.

     I know it can be frustrating. And I know its easy to think that your husband isn't interested in sex anymore and it makes you feel worse about your "new body". But try to talk to him about it, not just in passing. It will make you feel better knowing he's not unattracted to you, there are probably other things going on on his head.

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