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nbr: Overthinking and over-reacting?

saturdaynightdoubletreesaturdaynightdoubletree member
in 3rd Trimester

SIL called me immature, rude, selfish, etc. etc. etc. a few months back... un-friended me on facebook and hasn't talked to me in months (because of a fight between her and DH, which they've resolved and moved on from). She hadn't been on my shutterfly website in months either. Then last week, she was visiting the site daily, and leaving comments about how great I looked, etc. No apology, but this is the way she always is. Then today, I open the mail to get her baby shower invite... coincidence? I think not, but it could just be because I don't like that she thinks it's okay to walk all over people, and then expect them to be there for her all the time (this is not anything new). 

UGH!!!

Do I send a gift? Ignore the whole thing and let DH deal with her? I can't actually go to the shower because it's across the country, a week before my due date. 

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Re: nbr: Overthinking and over-reacting?

  • Kitiara5512Kitiara5512 member
    You send a gift but you dont have to show up if you dont want to. Why deny/deprive the baby because the mom is a biitch?

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  • lilmgirllilmgirl member
    Have you responded to any of the comments she's left you?  If you haven't spoken to her since her fight with your H, I would ignore the invite because I'm petty like that.  I mean, I would RSVP no to the hostess but I wouldn't send a gift to her.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    Well, if you can't make it, I'd say yes you should still send something.  At BRU you can get a $10 gift card just for adding a diaper genie to your registry.  Do that & send her the $10 gift card, along with your very best wished.  Smile 
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  • saturdaynightdoubletreesaturdaynightdoubletree member

    imagelilmgirl:
    Have you responded to any of the comments she's left you?  If you haven't spoken to her since her fight with your H, I would ignore the invite because I'm petty like that.  I mean, I would RSVP no to the hostess but I wouldn't send a gift to her.

    That's the thing... I've only been pregnant twice... and both times in the middle of my second tri she gets in some crazy huge fight with DH, tries to rope me in the middle, I don't respond other than "I don't think it is my place to get in the middle of this, it is between you and (DH)". Then she goes off on me, doesn't talk to me for months, and then randomly wants to be my BFF. There has been no contact between the two of us in months... no texts, no e-mails, no phone calls, not a word... and then she leaves a nice pic comment  and sends me a baby shower invite all in the same week?!?! I'm usually able to be the bigger person, but I'm totally struggling with this one for some reason.

    I'll definitely respond to the host though... it's not her fault.

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  • JaimeCHJaimeCH member
    If it were me, I would send a gift and RSVP "no". The added drama of ignoring the invite and comments would not be worth it to me, especially with a LO on the way.
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  • MSC03MSC03 member
    I would RSVP no, but send a gift because the baby is separate from her behavior... But ALSO this behavior would have to be addressed!
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  • New_MrsPNew_MrsP member
    I have no comment on what you should do, but it sounds to me like she had the realization, "Oh, I better start playing nice or I may not get a big present".
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  • OctGirl80OctGirl80 member
    I would RSVP that you aren't going, but I wouldn't send a gift. I'm sure the baby isn't going to care either way and I agree with PP. It sounds like she's only playing nice to get the gift.
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