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Attachment Parenting
Sleep vent (long and rambly)
First, I want to say that I know my LO isn't even 5 months old and that some of you have been dealing with this for far longer. Props to you guys... I really don't know how you do it.
I am so.tired. Jade has been a crappy sleeper since day 1. We had one good week and then the 4-month-wakeful happened, then she got a sinus infection. I keep thinking we're coming out on the other side but then reality hits me in the face. Last night, she woke up 4 times between 8 and 1 and then we were up until 4. I woke DH up at 3 because I honestly (and I know this is horrible) wanted to throw her. She was SO TIRED and just wouldn't sleep. We bedshare part-time and I can normally nurse her to sleep, but she wouldn't settle down. When I put her in the crib, she would doze off and then wake up every 5 minutes. I tried to remind myself that she's just 4 months old and that she's been sick and just needs to be comforted, but honestly last night it was like something snapped.
It doesn't help that her naps are crap. The longest naps are 45 minutes, most are closer to 30 and nothing I've done seems to help. I've read the Baby Sleep Book and NCSS and nothing seems to work. I enjoy bedsharing, but DH can't sleep well when we do, so we only do it part of the night.
I just don't know how some of you have done this for a year (or longer). I've struggled with depression for years and when I don't get my sleep, I slowly lose my mind. I seriously feel like I'm about to break down, and don't know what to do. It's like I have to choose between J having a happy mom and doing CIO or me responding to her cries, but crying all the time myself.
Sigh. I just worry that I've "chosen" the wrong parenting style. That maybe we would both be happier if I had pushed a schedule early on and that maybe I'm not cut out to be a good AP mama.
Sorry, I know this sounds awful and totally "pity me" but I just have to get it out somewhere and you guys are always so nice/helpful.
Thanks 
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Re: Sleep vent (long and rambly)
You don't have to just choose a parenting style and stick to certain rules. Parenting is fluid and different situations require different actions/methods. 2.5 months to about 6 months was definitely the hardest for us. I was very tired, hallucinating, etc. However, there really was no other alternative. Crying wasn't really an option - he would just throw up if he cried for any period of time.
DH would disturb our sleep, so he often slept somewhere else just so we could get through the night. It was critical that I got as much sleep as possible.
I also always take a nap with him during the day.
I think you need to do what you have to do to keep both of you healthy. I understand the middle of the night frustration. If your current situation isn't working, just do what you need to do. Have you tried letting her sleep in a swing? That worked for my sister.
You deserve to be happy and you are obviously making all of your decisions with your daughter's best interests in mind.
I'm sorry you are going through such hard time with LO's sleeping, it sounds really tough with three hours wake-time in the middle of the night. However, don't blame it on your 'chosen' parenting style, she would very likely have turned out exactly the same way, perhaps worse, if you had pushed a schedule. You are a great mom and it is about finding out what works for you. Sounds like part time bed-sharing works well, we do the same. I think the important part is not to blame yourself for this. Some babies are difficult, some are easy sleepers. My DD is somewhere in between, she also only take short naps, but I have accepted this and don't try to change it. I just make sure to be quiet around her when she naps and hope she will sleep as long as she needs.
CIO might not help anyway, it will probably hurt you more because it is so awful to listen to and 4 months is too young to expect them to be able to fall asleep by themselves.
Not sure it will help but this is what I do to get DD to sleep if she is difficult: I nurse her until she is asleep then sit and wait for up to 5 minutes until she is completely asleep. Then I gently take her on my shoulder so she burps (sometimes) in her sleep and then I put her down in her crib, feet first. If she stirs I hold a hand firmly on her belly until she relaxes.
Hope it gets better and that she takes a really long nap today so you can get a bit of sleep too :-)
Thanks guys. The crazy thing is that she does actually put herself to sleep for naps and at the beginning of the night. I have never successfully put her down asleep and not woken her up, so I started putting her down drowsy and she would doze off. I thought it would naturally translate to night wakings and it has not.
Oh well. We just took a nap- I laid down with her and was able to get her back to sleep when she woke up at the 45 minute mark and we just woke up and played a fun game of peek-a-boo, so all is well. I was just feeling super-overwhelmed this morning.
And I know that you don't really have to stick to a certain parenting style. I've just been getting a lot of pressure to do CIO etc and constantly tell people "you do what's right for your family, I'll do what's right for mine" and I've just started thinking "maybe this isn't what's right for my family after all..." and it's left me feeling kind of sad.