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Opinions please..

Coaster26Coaster26
in 3rd Trimester

A little back story..

Last year my friend was planning on getting married on Halloween and I was part of the wedding, as a brides maid. Had the dress sitting in my closet all set, get a text from her about a month and a half before the wedding and she tells me that its cancelled due to her fiance's sister passing. So sorry for them understand completely why the weddings cancelled. 

Fast forward to about a month ago. I was currently about 8 months preggo's and she texts me to let me know.. "Oh btw, the weddings on again for Halloween, do you think you'll be able to fit in your dress?" Umm what?? I was a size 6 and if I actually pop when I'm supposed to I have a month to get back to my previous size. (Hold on it gets better) I tell her this and her response is, "Oh good cause I want different dresses now" Were good friends, but after spending close to 200$ for a dress that I'm never going to use I'm getting a little annoyed now. 

To make a long story a bit shorter, I end up not being able to make it to her wedding at all now. Not only will I have the new addition but I also have a 3yr old and come to find out hubby can't make it to the wedding. And I don't have a sitter. There's no way I'm going to a wedding, in the bridal party, and have someone I don't know keep an eye on my children. So I let her know as soon as I find out that I'm not going to be able to make it and I'm sooo sorry but she told me kind of last minute that it was back on and I hate to pull out but I don't see it working out and I wanted to give her enough time to find someone else if needed. 

So this is where I need advice, my mother threw me a shower for this little one (I was very grateful and didn't expect it) and invited my friend (who wasn't at the first shower). Turns out she never called to let anyone know if she was going to be able to make it or not. About a week after the shower she texts me to ask a question and throws in, "Oh sorry about the shower, I'm trying to save money for the wedding." Totally get it but why not call and say she wasn't going to attend? 

So I get an invite from her in the mail for her wedding, after telling her already I wouldn't be able to make it and I really want to just not send back the RSVP. Should I? Technically I've already told her.. I think I may be being petty, no I know I am but I'm preg and a little out there right now with my emotions...  

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Re: Opinions please..

  • scoutkatescoutkate member
    Yeah . . . that is petty, although I totally understand why you'd be tempted.  But two wrongs don't make a right, and all that.  Just send in the RSVP and be done with it. 
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  • Mrs.JohnsMrs.Johns member

    Have you ever heard the saying two wrongs don't make a right? Don't stoop to her level on purpose. RSVP no and let that be it.

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  • Mrs.JohnsMrs.Johns member

    imagescoutkate:
    Yeah . . . that is petty, although I totally understand why you'd be tempted.  But two wrongs don't make a right, and all that.  Just send in the RSVP and be done with it. 

    Jinxy

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  • SquishycheeksSquishycheeks

    I think her sending the invitation was more of a courtesy than anything. She knows you can't come, but I would remind her with a card and wedding gift.

    How she handled your shower was rude, but I wouldn't be rude back. You have a great reason not to attend her wedding and are doing what's best. 

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  • OliveBabyOliveBaby member
    Yes, you need to send back the RSVP.
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  • J+MSJ+MS member
    Send back the RSVP and stop using the word preggo.
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  • JenZuanichJenZuanich member

    imagescoutkate:
    Yeah . . . that is petty, although I totally understand why you'd be tempted.  But two wrongs don't make a right, and all that.  Just send in the RSVP and be done with it. 

    This.

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  • taylorkelley44taylorkelley44
    Send back the rsvp!! Even though she isn't mature and adult enough to do the right thing, you need to be the bigger person. Send back the "Sorry but I can't attend" and be the adult!
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  • OctoberBabyHOctoberBabyH

    imagescoutkate:
    Yeah . . . that is petty, although I totally understand why you'd be tempted.  But two wrongs don't make a right, and all that.  Just send in the RSVP and be done with it. 

    This. Don't stoop to her level. You have bigger and better things to worry about. 

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  • OctoberBabyHOctoberBabyH

    imageJ+MS:
    Send back the RSVP and stop using the word preggo.

    Makes you cringe, doesn't it? :P

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  • Coaster26Coaster26

    imageJ+MS:
    Send back the RSVP and stop using the word preggo.

     

    No way!! I love my preggo word 

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  • PunkyBoosterPunkyBooster member

    Didn't you say you'd be in the wedding anyway before it was canceled? I don't think the size rational holds much weight at this point because you thought you were going to be in the wedding when she first asked you.

    I think it's totally unreasonable and unclassy of her to ask her BMs to buy new dresses. 

    How do you have a 3 year old and no reliable babysitters? I can understand that you have a newborn and don't want to participate in the wedding, but you did accept initially, knowing the wedding is on halloween. 

    Send back the RSVP. Just because she acted without class doesn't mean you need to as well just for the sake of being petty. 

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  • Soter1Soter1
    My opinion: go to the wedding as a guest.  You have a month to find a sitter for your 3yo and if needed I wouldn't think it an issue to birng a newborn for a few hours to a true friends wedding.  If you were good enough friends to be in her wedding I think you should make an effort to at least attend.  JMO.  Either way, send back the RSVP.
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  • Coaster26Coaster26
    imagePunkyBooster:

    Didn't you say you'd be in the wedding anyway before it was canceled? I don't think the size rational holds much weight at this point because you thought you were going to be in the wedding when she first asked you.

    I think it's totally unreasonable and unclassy of her to ask her BMs to buy new dresses. 

    How do you have a 3 year old and no reliable babysitters? I can understand that you have a newborn and don't want to participate in the wedding, but you did accept initially, knowing the wedding is on halloween. 

    Send back the RSVP. Just because she acted without class doesn't mean you need to as well just for the sake of being petty. 

     

    It was originally set for last Halloween which was able to work because hubby was able to come.

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  • aforstaforst member
    Yeah...just send the RSVP, it's not that deep.
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  • uluvfrankeuluvfranke member
    imageJ+MS:
    Send back the RSVP and stop using the word preggo.
    barf
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  • kg_08kg_08 member
    I'd send back an RSVP. With everything that went on I can understand the emotions, but it is still kinda petty.
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  • yourmom5309yourmom5309 member
    I would just RSVP.  Some people can be totally consumed and self-absorbed with their own life.  Don't stoop to her level.
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  • Coaster26Coaster26
    Thank you ladies.. I needed the silly slapped out of me. I'm going to send the rsvp.
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  • PunkyBoosterPunkyBooster member
    imageCoaster26:
    imagePunkyBooster:

    Didn't you say you'd be in the wedding anyway before it was canceled? I don't think the size rational holds much weight at this point because you thought you were going to be in the wedding when she first asked you.

    I think it's totally unreasonable and unclassy of her to ask her BMs to buy new dresses. 

    How do you have a 3 year old and no reliable babysitters? I can understand that you have a newborn and don't want to participate in the wedding, but you did accept initially, knowing the wedding is on halloween. 

    Send back the RSVP. Just because she acted without class doesn't mean you need to as well just for the sake of being petty. 

     

    It was originally set for last Halloween which was able to work because hubby was able to come.

    Ohhh last halloween. I figured I was misreading something.


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  • Temp984666312503071Temp984666312503071 member

    Take the high road and send back the RSVP.  I would even send a gift.

    Good friends (which you claim you are) go out of their way for each other and don't expect things in return.  It sounds like you two are very tit for tat in a high school kind of way. 

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  • MSC03MSC03 member
    Send back the RSVP asap.
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  • mrsf123mrsf123 member
    It is definitely tempting to give her a taste of her own medicine, but I'd just RSVP and be done with it... as they say ... two wrongs don't make a right ....
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  • MJHersheyMJHershey member

    Send in the RSVP and be done with it. She obviously is not thinking past her own plans...

    Seriously.. who does that???? "Oh it's back on for a date a month from now, we want you to buy a different dress". Hell NO.

     

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  • monkiemmonkiem

    imageJ+MS:
    Send back the RSVP and stop using the word preggo.

    This.  On both counts. 

    And by the way, OP, you can sell the dress you bought originally.  This way, it's one less thing for you to biitch about.

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  • Mommysaurus123Mommysaurus123 member
    DH and I knew people who wouldn't be able to get to our wedding, but we sent them invites anyway to be polite. Send back the RSVP.

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  • pepomntpatpepomntpat member
    You are being petty. RSVP.
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  • Coaster26Coaster26
    imagemonkiem:

    imageJ+MS:
    Send back the RSVP and stop using the word preggo.

    This.  On both counts. 

    And by the way, OP, you can sell the dress you bought originally.  This way, it's one less thing for you to biitch about.

     

    Wow really? I thought I was venting. Please excuse me for posting. Shall not happen again.  

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