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April 2011 Moms
luvdv8
member
Really DH??!?! You want to be Team Green?!?!?
luvdv8
member
We found out what we were having with DD. At the time I had really conflicting emotions- I really wanted a boy and was having a hard time processing that there was a little girl in there. I cried for two days. It's hard to explain but I just couldn't see myself raising a little girl (my mom had 3 and we gave her HELL!). But as the weeks past and we named her and I started looking at little dresses, the thought of a daughter actually started to excite me. By the time she was here I was so excited for my little girl that I couldn't imagine having a little boy.
This time around- shock- I'd like a little girl. Of course I'll love LO regardless, but I have a lot of little girl stuff, I know about little girls, and I feel like if it's a girl DH will actually let me try for number three!
So out of nowhere DH decides he wants this to be a surprise. I just feel like I want that time again to process what LO is and mentally prepare myself. I also feel like I'm going to miss out on the bonding I had with DD- calling her by her name while she was still kicking around on the inside.
Do I fight this? He seems just as set on it as I am. Or do I let him do it this way this time around, knowing that it might be our last baby? (that's a whole other discussion!)
Our Little Family Keeps Growing!
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Re: Really DH??!?! You want to be Team Green?!?!?
I knew a couple where the husband found out and the wife didn't, and he managed not to slip up the whole time. You could try to go that route.
Otherwise, I guess you need to have a good chat about why you both feel the way you do and hope you can come to an agreement. Good luck!!
Have the doctor write on a paper and seal it in an envelope. You can open it later by your self.
This. If YH really doesn't want to know, I think you should respect his reasons and just keep it to yourself.
Thanks for the input ladies! It's good to know that other women feel that need to bond by knowing the sex.
I guess we've got some time to talk it out- obviously it isn't going to kill me to not know, but I still feel pretty strongly that it's something that I want to do. We'll see in 9 weeks if he's changes his mind!
You still have two months to decide whether to be Team Green or not. Personally, we would both have to be in it together for it to work (not one of us finding out and the other one waiting.)
It sounds like it is a very sensitive subject for both of you. I would suggest to discuss it sometime soon, with both of you explaining exactly why you feel the way you do, without making a decision. Then, you can both consider the other's viewpoint and come together and make a decision in plenty of time before the anatomy scan.
Good luck!
DH and I didn't find out what we were having with our first and I can't even begin to describe the feeling in the delivery room when our DS was born. All of our friends and some family were annoyed with us because we didn't find out, but we didn't care. The second the Dr. pulled him out and my DH screamed "IT'S A BOY" from the top of his lungs with excitement it made it all 100% worth it. It was so much fun. Then our family came in the room and we were able to announce the sex, it was amazing!
It was a little easier though, we were able to have a shower where we received tons of gender neutral things so we're pretty much set if we have a girl this time.
We didn't want to know with my first pregnancy, but now that this may be our first and only child, I'm kind of wanting to know. DH is still set on not finding out. But, like you, I feel like I could use some time processing. I just keep telling myself that it'll be really exciting to find out in the delivery room. Sort of like another goal to look forward to.
I thought about asking the U/S Tech to write it down and then we can look if we change our minds.
I completely understand the bonding when you find out at 20 weeks. For us, it really made the entire pregnancy seem real. We weren't just having a baby, we were having a son.
Good luck in your decision! I don't think you both need to be in agreement on what you do, but you both need to respect the other's choice.
Don't be offended- to each is their own. For me it was a HUGE part of my pregnancy with DD. Having that time to adjust to the idea that she was a little girl, and more importantly, that I was eventually going to be a mother to a teenage girl was something I'll always be grateful for. The flood of emotions I had was really difficult and made me feel very guilty and I wouldn't have wanted that clouding those initial moments with DD.
I don't think it's impossible for people to bond with their child without knowing the sex, I just think that thinking of her as "my daughter" really cemented the pregnancy and the whole new direction my life was taking that much more. Almost everyone close to me is a Team Green and a fantastic mom who loved their LO and bonded with them just fine so I know it's possible.
I'd either talk him into it or you find out and don't tell him (that will be hard but you could do it!)
We had a girl and boy name picked out before we found out what we were having. We walked out of the u/s calling him Zachary. He had a stocking hung for Christmas with his name embroidered on it before he was born!
haha I totally understand wanting to KNOW, and wanting to give the baby a name. Heck, we're having TWINS and I'm trying to come up with two girl names and two boy names that we like so we can do the same thing! Otherwise I'm afraid we'll find out what we're having and then take forever to settle on a name after that! We had a HARD time deciding on our sons name.