- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
NicoleWI
member
Do you have a nanny?
NicoleWI
member
I'm really struggling with nanny vs. daycare decision. DD goes to daycare and I finally like it now that she's a toddler (I really personally don't think it's the best thing for kids under age 1, but I know other people LOVE daycare), and they love her, but I HATE the illness. We've had TONS of issues and it affected most holidays and family vacations for her entire first year. She just had croup (again--prone to it) and a cold and now has stomach flu, which I'm sure I'm about to get. I just don't know that we can put another new baby in daycare and I'm not even sure we can send DD while I'm on maternity leave as had been the plan. Can't have her bringing home germs to a newborn in prime cold/flu season.
But, nannies have disadvantages too. Finding one seems like an ordeal and cost can be high, and there's less back-up in case of issues. I'm really stressed about this and we have to figure it out soon as baby is due Dec. 3.
If you have a nanny, where did you find her (or him), what do you pay if you don't mind saying, and would you recommend it?
I'm posting here for new opinions. On working moms it seems most people prefer daycare, but a few nanny people did say they love having a nanny.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Do you have a nanny?
I am a SAHM, but I can give you a nanny's perspective!
I would highly recommend nanny over daycare (and if I was going to be working, I would have gone the nanny route)
I agree it can take a bit of searching to find the right fit for your family... but there are many options out there. Agencies, friend recommendations, Craigslist (there are many different backround checks you can do through the police department, etc so don't be hesitant to look!)
The families I've nannied for have been incredible... I was an extension on their family and years later we still keep in touch. It was great for them... I could take the kids to storytime, gymboree, etc There are many advantages.
It does come at a price though. Depending on where you live.... I'd say average is at least $12 an hour... Paid days off, etc. So you're looking at $100+ a day.
Feel free to ask me any questions! Would be happy to help!
I love our nanny and more importantly our DS loves her. I found her by talking with the other nannies on our street to get a referral. A month before I was to start back at work one of the nannies told me of a woman who was becoming available and it was a perfect fit.
We pay her a monthly salary (I think it depends on where you live on how much a nanny gets) and she has core hours 8:30 - 6:00. Because we pay her a salary we were able to negotiate an annual rate that was just slightly higher than the expensive DCC we had chosen. She gets five paid sick days and as part of her annual increase she now has five vacation days. She gets a Christmas bonus that is the amount of a month's salary. She also gets paid time off when my parents come to visit because they like to take care of DS. This amounts to almost 10 days a year. We also try to do special things for her like to make sure her favorite coffee is stocked in the pantry.
Having someone come into your home rather than drop off and pick up a child everyday is fantastic! It is so convenient. During nap time she does laundry and the house is picked up of toys when we come home. She loves our DS so much and he really loves her as well. He is so excited to see her in the mornings and that means the world to me.
It was a little weird at first to have a stranger in our home but now every Sunday night I am so thankful that she is coming the next day because it makes going to work a thousand times easier. She really is part of our family.
I just wrapped up 5 years as a nanny! After working in many daycares, it would be my only choice if I had to work outside the home! The kids were hardly ever sick, and I only took 1 sick day in 5 years.
I loved the family I worked for and yes, I was with the same family for 5 years! They had 3 kids and my hours/days varied over the years. After I had my baby I went back and worked another full year bringing him with me. It was the best of both worlds and I was so fortunate! I was paid hourly ($13+), received 3 sick days, 3-4 weeks of paid vacation, bonuses, and occasionally had other days off. I also had most holidays off (paid). We became great friends and the mom has been working in her home office for the past year or so. I was matched with them through an agency, I think she paid about $1000 to get matched (which was worth it since I stayed so long).
I am really in a blessed situation. I have a nanny who is a family friend of my husband's. We pay her a monthly salary which is equal to her rent, so her preference is that we just write the rent check (probably so she won't spend it LOL). Although she isn't paid at the going rate, she gets 20 days of vacation (that matches my vacation days), 10 paid holidays (that match mine). Since DH works as a teacher, she comes in later in the summer. The only thing is that she does have long hours - because of our long commutes. But we also give her plenty of gifts during the year and she has permission to do laundry at our house and eat anything she wants. I also on occasion take her shopping - she doesn't have a car.
We are TTC #2 and by that time, DD may be in daycare part time....but only for the education and socialization.
For what it's worth, MH says he can tell immediately which kids stayed at home for care and which ones went to daycare/pre-school. Those kids got sick less by the time they were 5 and had better social skills (yes, they get sick @ daycare more, but thats actually a good thing...it builds their immune system). That's why we will eventually put DD in pre-school. Something to think about.
We are very fortunate to do a nanny share with our downstairs neighbors, whose DD is two months older than DS. I can't help you much on the search - she was working for a colleague of our neighbors' who had twins, and that mom was ready to send them to daycare (as the cost was now cheaper since they were about 2 1/2). We didn't interview anybody else.
I'll give you some generic pros and cons and then talk a little bit about our particular situation and the pitfalls we have encountered. Pros: For sure, the lack of constant illnesses. My boss has a DS six weeks younger than mine - the kid is CONSTANTLY, constantly sick. Our DS has run a significant fever ONLY ONCE in his 14 months.
Not doing the morning/evening schleps make our days way less insane. We get to spend more quality time with DS and his day is less stressful. We don't have to worry about packing diapers, formula, breastmilk mixups (well, not anymore), everything the nanny needed was there. There is some coordinating with our neighbors because we do a share, but MUCH less than what you deal with bringing your LO to daycare every day.
DS is HOME. I have to say, it just makes me feel good that even though I'm not home, he is. Not to say that day care can't also be homey, etc. but I just find this comforting.
CONS: Our nanny gets three weeks vacation, three personal days and all the holidays. She actually asked for additional holidays that none of us gets off, and we refused. I think you can run into this with some day cares, particularly family ones, though.
We've been lucky that she has never had to call in sick, but I know that can be a problem for people. She has had a number of health problems (and she's young) but fortunately for us her mom and sisters are also nannies and she's always found a way to get one of them to cover her for a few hours
Depending on where you live, the cost can be astronomical. We could not afford to do this, in all likelihood, if we were not doing a share. We are about to give her a raise and together our two families will be paying $19 an hour. With taxes, etc. we do pay more than it would cost for infant daycare in our area (though not by a whole lot - definitely worth it not to deal with the illnesses!)
Eventually you will need to have your child in a group setting, be it day care or kindergarten, and they WILL get sick, so to some degree you are postponing the inevitable, but frankly I'd rather deal with a sick two-or three year old than a sick 6-month-old (at least, I think I would).
Cons in our own personal situation: our nanny has a very hard time communicating with us. Not because she doesn't speak English (she is from the Carribean and a native English speaker) but because she just has an odd personality. She can be very moody, and when she's in a bad mood, we get little to no information about the kids' days. We have had to have multiple meetings with her to discuss this - often it gets better for a little while, and then gets worse again. It has been good now since the last time we really sort of confronted her, but still, I think most daycares provide a LOT more information about kids days than we get. Her style with the kids is also very strict - a lot stricter than I would be. She lets them cry without comforting much longer than I would. But when we have asked her about certain things she always insists her way is right. There have been times when if we were not doing a share, DH and I would have seriously considered looking for someone else, but our neighbors have always felt differently about this than we have (something to think about if you are able to do a share).
All that said, the kids are attached to her and despite the fact that she's not the most warm, cuddly person in the world she is clearly attached to them. She definitely has their best interests at heart and while our styles don't always mesh, that would probably be the case with any caretaker, including our own parents.
I think it's great that you've had the DC experience, actually, because you have certain expectations of how someone will interact with your kids, what kind of information you would want, etc. I would use all that experience to inform your questioning of the candidates during the interviewing process. For us, as brand new parents, we were just kind of like - great, we're getting a professional who knows what she's doing, whereas we know nothing. I just wish primarily that our nanny was a little bit better at hearing concerns and questions and being open to different ways of doing things.