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December 2010 Moms
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shower drama...need advice!!(longish)

february292008february292008
in December 2010 Moms

My mom offered to set up my shower, I asked if I could make the invites (I'm crafty and have been dying to do it!) She agreed and said she would make up the wording and email it to me. 

DH sister is getting married Oct 30th in Vegas (entire family minus us is attending) Our shower is Nov 14th and then they have another family shower the weekend after.

I feel it's only fair to give them LOTS of notice since they have a lot of financial obligation in a months span. My mom says they need to "suck it up", this upset me and we had a fight...

Ends up my sister and I are going to host the shower (now the shower will take place at my business and my partner will also be involved, along with MIL)

 

I know it might seem wrong to some that I have so much involvement but has anyone helped host their own shower? 

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Re: shower drama...need advice!!(longish)

  • Jackswife123Jackswife123
    Eh, it's a little tacky.  I wouldn't announce to everyone that you are hosting it.  Let your sister take the reins and just help her out if she needs it.
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  • babyonthebrain2010babyonthebrain2010
    yeah you should basically never host your own shower.  it's just tacky.  why can't your sister just host it alone?  you can always help her with planning and what not, but to be named as an official hostess or to act as anything more than the guest of honor isn't appropriate in my eyes.
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  • february292008february292008

    No I wouldn't be announcing it or doing it on my own...she's going through a separation so that's why I really don't want to put it all on her. We host parties frequently at my business and that's the other reason, she won't have full access to the building.

    I don't plan on making the food but if my sister wants to go decorate I'll help her!! 

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  • MrsTechieMrsTechie
    imageelizabetha27:
    I helped with my shower but didn't declare myself co-hostess. My friend who hosted it really wanted it to be comfortable for me. I went over early and helped her set up and we made the invitations together. It was really casual anyway and fun to spend time with just her before all the other people got there.
    This is basically how my shower is going. My mom and sister both wanted to co-host my shower but they are short on time and funds. I'm not working, so I have time and splitting the cost 3 ways helps. I didn't declare myself as a host and honestly don't think it matters I don't think it's tacky at all to be involved.
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  • KateySueKateySue

    I actually disagree with the tacky comments (no offense). Several sweet ladies offered to host my shower and I was set with that until DH showed great interest in having a co-ed shower. Once we added up the invites, we ended up with over 120 guests and we just couldn't bare to ask our hostess to open her home to that many people, never-mind affording to feed them all. So we switched gears and decided to host it ourselves at our church.

    We have really enjoyed making the invites (we're both pretty creative) and we've been sewing cute center pieces and so on. Granted, we've asked our close friends to make the 120+ cupcakes and we have also asked a few friends to help with the set-up and clean-up. We are also having two of our friends lead the games. This way, those who wanted to be involved and host can still feel like an important part of the shower and we will actually be able to sit back and enjoy the event. It's all the behind-the-scenes stuff that we took care of. I guess you could say that it is a community shower, with everybody pitching in, but when people ask who is hosting, we generally tell them that we are and knowing us and our personalities, it makes sense to them... at least we haven't gotten any side-eyes. 

    I really think that if you can handle having a hand (or both hands) in the shower, then go for it. Let your guests think what they want - tacky or not - it's your day to celebrate. 

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  • DaisyCakes18DaisyCakes18
    Was the fight with your mom really that bad that she won't help with your shower now? From what you said, it doesn't seem like something that should be such a huge deal that the whole shower has to be changed.
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