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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
I'm not normally one to call someone out-TSD
But this really rubbed me the wrong way. I hope you're not saying what it sounds like and that you just worded this wrong. But are you calling in-home daycares fake? Because I love our 'fake house daycare'.
"My son isn't in daycare but he would be if I worked. I think daycare is great. And I mean an actual daycare, not someone's fake house daycare. I know a few kids in daycare, Goddard, and maybe they're just geniuses, but they're way ahead of a lot of the other kids I know that are the same age. ."
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I'm not normally one to call someone out-TSD
When I was 22, I was hired out of college at a non-profit to help with "in-home day care licenses". It was basically a joke. All we had to do was ask them some questions and they got their "license". No one went out to their home to check them out. They got a background check I believe but I'm not even sure of that (this was about 14 years ago) These people got paid through us so it was on the books. But, anything could have happened there. There were hundreds of people on the books billed as "at home daycare". I have no idea what actually qualified them to care for children.
I'm sure it varies by state what people have to answer for/to, but in NJ, at least then, it wasn't much.
You can love your in home daycare, and my comment could rub you the wrong way, but I'm entitled to think there is a very big difference (accountibility to someone other than the parent(s) between an rub you the a day care center and someone's home where kids are cared for. And if you love your situation then why be rubbed the wrong way by what I think? Enjoy.
Edit: I just looked it up here- all you need is 8 hours training, CPR & first aid cert.
Home daycares here are licensed and checked like centers are.
Yes, there are crappy places. But that isn't exclusive to home daycares.
Not in NJ. And it's not done by the state or at least exclusively. They farm out the responsibility to non-profit agencies, which in turn can hire a 21 yr old right out of college with no experience (or anyone else) to come with a checklist and check you out.
I use a "fake" in-home daycare and my DD got much more loving attention and guidance then I would ever expect from a regular daycare. She is not licensed, but I did my own checks (which included checking the local CPS). DD loves it there and interacts w/ 4 other children. My sitter is very pro-attachment parenting, so I never had to worry about her making DD CIO or ignoring her in general.
For someone who cannot afford "real" daycare, I'm very, very satisfied w/ the DCP we found.
On the other hand, I know not all in-home daycares are like the one I found. HOWEVER, I've also heard horror stories about "real" daycares where children are harmed, ignored, etc. What does a license really say about a daycare provider? That they jumped through the proper hoops to get it?? Does it necessarily reflect how well it operates?
Ok, so the word "fake" bugs people out. I'm not sure why it matters what I call it since it's my opinion, but whatever. I'll take back "fake" and call it whatever you want.
There are horror stories about everything. You pick and choose your own horror I guess is what it comes down to. For me, I am a huge supporter of good, quality, licensed day care centers and that is where I would choose if I were in the position. In a hot minute, the debate is going to get bigger as I see in the other post, someone questioned why someone would even use any day care if they "could" be at home because "you know, there is nothing better than care by a parent" (or something like that), so as we know, opinions are like a-holes.....
Don't get hung up on a word.
I'm so glad I missed your genius statement earlier. Honestly you are trying to make yourself look like an expert when, in fact, your statement is extremely ignorant. You are on a website representing women from all 50 states, Canada, and other countries. YOU should know that licensing and DCP regulations are different in each state.
I used a "fake daycare" when my LO was 6 weeks to 6 months old. She was amazing. She's watched my friend's daughter who is an angel. She has raised 5 amazing children of her own, one of which I was proud enough to have on my team at work a few years ago. She is a testament to how children should be cared for, and the idea that someone as "educated" as you would make such a brash blanket statement about in-home daycares is beyond me.
Oh, and for the record: OP's aren't hung up on "a word", they are hung up on you.
There are good and bad in-home daycares, just as there are good and bad centers out there. Licensing or not, it all depends on who is working there. I have many friends/family members that I would trust to watch DD in their homes, and they are not licensed (and they work, but that's besides the point
)
However, DH's SIL is "licensed" to have a daycare in her home. They never did a home visit before licensing her... they asked her some questions and sent her a license. She has an above ground pool, and they said "oh, just don't use it" She also had 4 dogs at the time, and they just had to get some extra insurance. They had to put a fence around the trampoline, and nothing was said about the swamp out back (probably because no one actually came out to her house). Knowing that this happens definitely weighed into my decision to choose a center vs in home care.
If I were touring places to send DD, I probably wouldn't have sent her to a place like SIL's daycare anyway. Not somewhere I'd feel comfortable leaving DD.
Again, I don't feel one is better than another. I think you just have to make a choice that you're comfortable with as a parent. As long as a LO is happy and well cared for, that's all that's important in the end!!
Yeah, I'm pretty sure most parents are in favor of high quality licensed daycares.
Home daycares in Michigan go through the same hoops, trainings and inspections by the state) to get license as do the corporate daycares. My in home had 1 violation (for not putting the date milk was opened on the carton). The "real" corporate daycares i looked at had TONS and some pretty offensive. I prefer my child being in a loving environment with the same care giver (which studies show is very important) and with the same group of kids over a center that employees college students who will be out at the end of the summer.
I think this is similar to the SAHM/WM debate. ?You shouldn't judge someone else's situation, or make sweeping generalizations.
DS is in a licensed day care center that I LOVE. ?It's small, very much like a home/family environment, and he gets a ton of love there. ?But I initially had him in another (licensed) center that was AWFUL. ?I pulled him out after a couple weeks. ?It was staffed almost entirely with girls in their late teens/early 20s and they ignored DS. ?I hated every minute he was there. ?I also looked at a lot of in home day cares (again, licensed) but couldn't find anything that made me comfortable. ?But I have lots of friends with their kids in home day cares, who love it. ?I don't think they're bad parents.
Everyone take a deep breath. ?I'm sure you've all chosen day cares that are good for your child and your situation.?
Thank you for speaking for all the states + Canada. I feel appropriately chastised for my ignorant opinion now.
I don't know about "they" but it's you that's apparently hung up on me. Oh, and I said the regulations are different, but if they're practically non-existant anywhere, then that's my definition of "fake".
Oh, please. You called them "fake" because you dont think they're as good as corporate daycare centers, not because of semantics confusion. And I know from first hand experience that getting a home daycare license in MY area is a helluva lot more than just an 8 hour class and CPR. It's intensive and quite highly regulated; just as regulated as daycare centers.
Obviously there are fantastic home daycares and really sh!tty ones, just like there are fantastic centers and also really sh!tty ones. It can vary so much and often has nothing to do with the type of license they have.
And regarding your statement that I bolded: Who do you think the corporate daycares hire to actually CARE for the children? Typically, they hire women with an average age of about 21 with limited experience who are only minimally supervised in most scenarios. The turnover rate for daycare workers is also extremely high.
Who typically has a home daycare? Women with an average age of around 38 with lots of experience with children and a much lower turnover rate, because this is their business and not just a job.
These factors dont make a daycare good or bad, those are just the stats. It's the individual people that create the environment. But maybe consider that throwing around ages and inexperience in regards to regulation probably isnt going to help your argument.
You're right. I don't. That's what I said. That's my opinion from my experiences. OPINION. MINE. B*tchy sounding? Sure. Ignorant? I don't think so. Not from my experience. Confused? Definitely not.
my fake daycare = DH.
So, you dont think it's ignorant to say that ALL home daycares are "fake" or that all home daycares are licensed the same way because of your personal experience 14 years ago?
Fake implies that they are pretending to be something they're not. If they're licensed to care for children, they get paid to care for children and pay taxes as a business classified as "child care"..sounds like a DAYCARE to me.
LOL!
I never said "all" in every state- If you weren't so sensitive and read what I originally said, I said- "I think daycare is great. And I mean an actual daycare, not someone's fake house daycare." Maybe I should have added "in my experience of kids in great corporate day care centers" and that would have been better. Like you said yourself, there are plenty of sh*tty in-home daycare places, so let's assume those are what I'm talking about if I had the choice between a sh*tty in-home care place with little regulation and a great accredited/licensed center.
Oy vey. Does it matter? I'm ignorant. Let's leave it at that if it makes you feel better. I guess this is going to go on as long as I keep answering you so I'm stopping. (Not leaving the board, just this post)
You are ignorant. As someone who has worked in DC for 6 years, they are not anything to brag about, fancy or not. The good ones have left kids in vans and fed babies milk when they are lactose intolerant. Give me a break. Don't pretend that ALL "fake" daycares are horrible and huge businesses are amazing. They are not. And you should know it.
I don't think you meant to lump all in-home caregivers together. At least I hope not. If I could find one in my area, that I trusted, I would very much choose someone caring for only 5 children over 3-4 women with 15-20 kids. Work in more than one state before you act as though you know so much about DC.
I will too. I apologize if I didn't read your original post correctly. I feel that larger centers are great for consistance. I like in-home because I like the idea of the same person being with DS every day. I really am sorry for saying that you were ignorant. I am sure that you are not and I was just typing after reading, without thinking. Sorry, again. I just get a little upset since I worked at a very nice place that still did LOADS of things that were completely wrong.
And a little more ON TOPIC: I agree with you- I actually sought after an in-home daycare because I wanted something smaller than a center with less adults and less kids. But I am not opposed to doing a center. And as our family changes I am open to changing our DC situation. And I totally believe that what works for each family is what is obviously best. I was just automatically rubbed the wrong way when TSD was stating that the only "real" or "actual" daycares were centers. It seemed such a naive remark to be making and so harsh to be not just saying, but posting on a public forum. I've never called someone out on anything before, but I couldn't not aknowledge her 'intriguing' comment.
I would never have put B into a daycare center at the age he is at (just our personal decision). I love that we have the option to put him into an inhome daycare. I think it is the perfect environment for him right now. Will it work when he needs more stimulation in the next few years? I don't think so and at that time we will move him to the daycare center that is attached to his school.
Up here home daycares go through the same licensing process as the centers. This includes the same inspections and the same education requirements. In fact I actually pay more for an inhome daycare vs a daycare center and that tends to be somewhat of the trend up here.
Actually Jenn, they don't. In Ontario, a person can run an in home daycare and not be licenced. In fact, most are not. Even if they are licenced the only inspection they need to go through is just before they open. After that, they are left to their own devices.
I just finished discussing this with someone who works on enforcing the day nurseries act.
This is one of the many reasons we decided not to go with a dayhome.