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All these posts about abusive relationships...

jb_uncpjb_uncp
in Babies: 9 - 12 Months

Reminded me of my friend and her DH (who i've known longer than her and is my DH's bestfriend). For what I know he's a nice guy and seems to not be abusive but she told me once before that they got into an arguement and he grabbed her arm and twisted it. In rage, she threatened to punch him and he told her that if she ever punched him he would punch her back! I told her that was really messed up! It made me second guess the type of person he is and worry for her and for their newborn baby! It is NEVER ok for a man to hit a woman, even if she hit him first but she kept defending him saying well I guess I deserved it if I hit him, it's like he's using self defense...WTF? It's one thing if he's prying you away from him if your hitting him repeatedly..not hitting you after you hit him once..what are we little kids? What can I do or say to let her and maybe him know that this isn't right!!!!

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Re: All these posts about abusive relationships...

  • jessicaclarejessicaclare member
    First of all, how long ago was this that she told you? If it was more than a few weeks, drop it. I'm not condoning domestic violence at all, but you only got one side of the story. Frankly, I don't think its ok for man to ever hit a woman, but I don't think its ok for a woman to hit a man either. Maybe what he said was just in reaction to her saying she'd punch him and he'd never say it again. Unless she comes out and tells you about another episode, I'd just let it go.
    image
    Annelise 3.22.2007 Norah 10.24.2009 Amelia 8.7.2011
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  • jb_uncpjb_uncp

    imagejessicaclare:
    First of all, how long ago was this that she told you? If it was more than a few weeks, drop it. I'm not condoning domestic violence at all, but you only got one side of the story. Frankly, I don't think its ok for man to ever hit a woman, but I don't think its ok for a woman to hit a man either. Maybe what he said was just in reaction to her saying she'd punch him and he'd never say it again. Unless she comes out and tells you about another episode, I'd just let it go.

    She told me recently about the arm twisting and then told me about things he's done before like punch the wall, throwing things around. I tried to talk to her about his violence but she always seems to defend him once I point out how wrong his actions are! It's so frustrating. I know it's not my business..but I feel like since she opened up to me I owe it to her to help "protect" her in whatever way! I would feel horrible if he actually let his temper get out of hand one day!

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  • Ivana_StolichnayaIvana_Stolichnaya member
    I wouldn't get involved unless she is asking for help.
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  • jb_uncpjb_uncp

    imageIvana.Stolichnaya:
    I wouldn't get involved unless she is asking for help.

    She that's the thing i'm a little confused on because no, she didn't come out and say help me, my spouse is abusing me but she told me that she was confiding in me b/c she got a little scared of him when he told her that he would hit her. She was telling me all these horrible things he did but once I opened my mouth to tell her that it was all wrong she started to get defensive! I don't want to be in the middle of anyones drama but like I was telling pp, I would feel so guilty if he actually acted on his rage! I would then feel like I should've done something other than sit back...

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  • worstnightmareworstnightmare
    A "friend"?  Or really you.  
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