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Having a hard IF day (kind of long)

LadyGolfer523LadyGolfer523
in Infertility

Last night DH let me know he had told a couple of his guy friends about our IVF and m/c.  He thought I'd be mad.  I feel so guilty for making him think that he couldn't talk about it.  He said he'd been feeling down about everything and because I was so sad he didn't want to talk to me about it.  I told him no matter how sad I was he should know he can talk to me.  I'm in no way mad that he told who he did.

I just feel like it's my fault for having IF (even though we are dealing with MFI as well), it's my fault I couldn't stay pregnant, etc.  I thought I was getting better and coping, but maybe not.  Maybe I'll be looking into therapy after all. 

Sorry to be such a downer. 

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Re: Having a hard IF day (kind of long)

  • 2bKEdwards2bKEdwards
    It's not your fault and believe me he doesn't think that either!  I'm continually surprised by DH's unwavering support and positivity.  I think your DH is the same way, they just want us to get pregnant and that will make them happy too, and they don't blame us at all.  Therapy is always a good option.  ((hugs))
    After 20 months, 5 IUIs, PCOS, Endo and IVF, our baby is here! Full IF history in blog
    ~Life After Infertility~
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  • njohnson1972njohnson1972 member

    (((hugs)))

    Don't be so hard on yourself.  

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  • jcathjcath member
    I'm sorry you are having such a hard day - I'm always struck by how it can IF issues can just slap me in the face like it's all new.  {{hugs}}
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  • Rachael07.07.07Rachael07.07.07 member
    I'm sorry you are having a down patch. It's not your fault, it's not your DH's fault...it just sucks, plain and simple. You did nothing wrong and you have to keep telling yourself that. I know it's hard, I still go through those patches myself. When it got really bad a couple of years ago, I went to a couple of therapy sessions. It helped to talk through it. (((hugs)))
    DX PCOS w/IR 01/08.
    Currently pg with our 1st after 6.5 yrs of IF (thank you IVF)
     
    My IF/Everything Blog
    There's No Crying in Baseball
    ***My posts are always SAIFW**
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  • mainesmichellemainesmichelle member
    Its not your fault..  I hope you start feeling better soon.
    Michelle
    Blythe Elizabeth is here March 27,2012
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • thewormstheworms member

    i'm sorry cutie but none of this is your fault.

    ((HUGS))

    image
    Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, It empties today of its strength. ~Corrie ten Boom
    Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~Mary Anne Radmacher (thank you beadinglady)

    It's been a long journey. TTC since 9/06. multiple IUI's and IVF's and 4 m/c's. IVF#3 = BFP, twins, induced at 34w6d due to baby b passing away (no explanation). Delivered on 35w1d, Baby A - baby girl, and Baby B - baby boy, our little angel.
    MTHFR A1298C & C677T, Immune Issues and Factor II
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  • LadyGolfer523LadyGolfer523
    Thanks ladies.  Rationally I know it's not my fault, but then to stupid emotions take over and I'm a blubbering fool.  UGH.  Tomorrow will be better.  Thanks again for the hugs and the kind words!
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  • jamielynnohiojamielynnohio member
    I'm so sorry you're having a hard day! (I had my hard IF day Monday) Your DH knows it's not your fault and I'm sure doesn't blame you. But, I know it's not hard to put that on ourselves. I've been there done that. I think therapy is an excellent option for so many of us. Best wishes in all you do. Take care, chin up. ((hugs))
    Married '02, TTC May '05

    Dx -Ute cancer, DOR from cancer treatments, and embryo quality issues. NOV 2010 CANCER FREE
    2005-2011= 3 Rounds of Clomid, 5 IUI's, 3 IVF's- ALL BFN's
    After 7yrs TTC, 5yrs of ute cancer, and 11 failed IF treatments, we got a surprise BFP! So thankful!

    Gemma Grace born 09/30/12

    Phillipians 4:6,7

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  • DrVWifeDrVWife member
    I'm sorry you are having a rough day.  Hugs.  It is totally NOT your fault.
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  • Bella2u07Bella2u07 member

    (((hugs)))

     

    TTC #1 Since 11/08 - Dx: MFI & PCOS
    7 IUIs = All BFNs
    2011: March IVF #1.2 = e/p @ 6w: May IVF #2 = BFN: July sFET #1 = BFN

    2012: Jan We're Certified FC/A Parents
    May IVF #3 = c/p
    June-Nov Foster Mommy to M (Toddler)
    July FET #2 = BFN
    Aug FET #3 = BFN
    Sept-Nov Foster Mommy to Baby Bella (Newborn)
    Nov HSG/Sono = Clear!
    Dec FET #4 = BFN

    2013: Feb FET #5 = m/c @ 6.5w
    May-July Foster Mom to H (8 yr old girl)
    June/July/Aug IVF #4 = Freeze All
    July = Unofficially Adopting T (10 yr old boy)
    Sept FET #6 = TBD
    **PAIF/SAIF Welcome**
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  • etoyamaetoyama member
    Big ((hugs)) it's not your fault, it's not his fault, it's not anyone's fault. I hope you and DH continue to talk to one another about IF. It sounds like you have a great relationship.
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