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March 2011 Moms
I really don't know what to do (NBR and long)
DH and I try for a baby for a year. Everything is fine, up until 2 weeks ago. He has been a total a hole to me for the past 2 weeks, complaining about whatever he can think of. He says I'm using my pg as a crutch... even though I do more around the house than he does. He complains that we never have sex. He complains that I was the only one that went to the dr appt because he wouldn't get off work. So needless to say, it's been a rough 2 weeks. Now, all of a sudden on Sunday, I start finding random local cell phone numbers in his phone for all hours of the day, and texts from people I don't know, and their numbers aren't saved in his phone. I asked him about it and all he said was "IDK who they are?" Well, obviously if you are holding a convo with them without asking who they are.. you know. I also found a woman's phone number in his pocket, along with a random number in his wallet (I was not snooping through his stuff, he asked me to empty his pants from the night before, and told me to take $ out of his wallet to go to dinner with my dad). This time, he said the numbers were for someone at work.
So with everything going on... I flip. He knows how I hate finding numbers and stuff because working separate shifts, I never know whats going on in his life. All he can seem to talk about is his bff from work, who happens to be a woman. He is much closer to her than me just by the fact that he sees her 70 hours a week (Which he has to leave his department to go see her). Coincidentally, her husband is very uncomfortable with the situation also, but neither DH or the bff seem to think it's a problem.
I am at my wits end with this. He straight up told me today that he would rather stay friends with this woman than have me not move out, and that he's not willing to take one (paid) day off work so that we can try to work things out. I'm ready to walk out and leave, but it's hard when you have no where to go. I know that stress isn't good for me or the baby, but I would have never thought this would happen, right after we get pregnant. I feel like my life is falling apart around me. 
Thanks for listening ladies
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Re: I really don't know what to do (NBR and long)
First of all, I really feel for you. I can't imagine what it would be like to suspect my husband of being unfaithful. One couldn't blame you for being upset. It seems as if he's drawn the proverbial line in the sand, which is tragic. I wish that I had good advice on what to do next, but I really don't besides try as best you can to detach from the situation. Giving it attention ie. begging for him to change, showing obvious disgust, will only add fuel to his already overblown ego. Something tells me that this isn't about you at all, but a maturity issue on his part. Easier said than done, but its very similar to disciplining a child. If you glorify the tantrum with a response, it gives them reason to repeat it.
If he is abusive you might look into some social services in your state. Being pregnant, there are emergency grants available for food and housing. Even a coworker might be willing/able to put you up for some time.
Sadly, I am speaking from experience. I too am pregnant, my husband isn't cheating, but he's not supportive and is verbally and emotionally abusive. It's taken a very depressed/anxious pregnancy for me to realize that the time we've been together has completely changed me for the worse. I, too, am strugggling with the decision to leave. But, one thing is for sure. No one can make it for you. Please don't feel alone. Best to you and yours. dg
First, I am so, so sorry. *hug*
Would you be willing to go to counseling alone? While he may not be willing to go, you may benefit from an outside professional perspective before you make and decisions.
Do you have any family or friends you could stay with for a few days to clear your head and hopefully allow him time to think? Did he say the statement about preferring you to leave than losing her friendship in a fit of anger or did he say it matter of factly?
I'm so sorry ... *hug*
I am so sorry. I agree with PP see if you can stay with a friend or family member for a few days just to get away and clear your head. Maybe send him a message that you mean business? I would suggest counseling for yourself for sure, if he won't go with you would he go on his own?
I wish you the best of luck , and will be thinking and praying for you and LO. Good luck hon. Lots of Hugs
Your husband sounds immature and it seems like he isn't taking the pregnancy well. Some guys freak out when it becomes a fact that they are going to be a father. He seems like he is reverting back into his younger single days.
With that being said, this behavior needs to be nipped in the butt. I don't know if leaving is the right decision, but you need to have a serious talk with him. I would even consider getting the other couple involved since the girl's husband is uncomfortable with their relation. Maybe if the four of you sit down and talk you can get to the bottom of their behavior.
I would also think about what you want in a relationship and evaluate if that is something that DH can provide. Were there problems before the pregnancy? Do you think your marriage can be saved? Would you be happy if you were able to work things out?
I wish the best for you. This can't be easy going through this pregnant, but I do know that you are strong enough to handle this. Definitely lean on any friends or family that you have.
Oh, sweety, I am soooo sooo sorry to hear about this. I really don't mean to sound so blunt and sorry if this hurts your feelings, but it sounds to me that his feelings are not with you, but with this other lady.
My parents went through something similar not too long ago, where my mother was spending an uncomfortable amount of time with a man she worked with (also in a different dept. like your H). The man's wife contacted my dad and they got together and talked about it and everything. It sucked! Not only for my dad, but for us. My parents ended up separating for a while because of it, but that was my mom's choice strangely. I didn't talk to her for almost a year.
That being said, if you and the other woman's H are seeing it, then there is something there. If they continue to work together, it will stay this way and will not get better. Something needs to change before LO arrives because it will rock that babies world, in a bad way, if this goes on as he/she grows up.
Gosh, I hate that you have to go through this, esp being pg. Just PLEASE don't let him do this to you. You or baby do not need the stress and he needs to grow up and realize that what he is doing is 100% wrong and disrespectful to you.