help me deal with the crying.

someflower6 · September 2010

i try my best to meet all my LO's needs, but there are times when i feel so lost, like i just don't know what i should be doing. there are times when she will cry no matter what i do to try to calm her down. i feel so guilty about these times... like i'm missing something, like i'm not doing something right.

i shouldn't take this personally, right? babies cry, that's what they do. still, i feel like if i don't find a way to stop her from crying, i'm failing as a parent. what do you do in situations like this?

ETA: despite having some reflux (whihc she is on meds for) and a snotty nose, she is otherwise healthy.

Leah11599 · September 2010

I know the feeling and no your not failing as a parent! Sometimes the only thing you can do is takes several deep breaths and keep trying to sooth her. Whether it's holding her and cuddling or giving her a pacifier and rocking her, etc. Whatever you do, don't get down on your self! You are doing a wonderful job and she loves you very much!

erinkate23 · September 2010

((hugs))

It's so hard when they cry. You just want to cry along with them! I remember a few nights like that; I ended up waking up DH in tears and sobbing about being a terribly mommy!

This site is good for ideas to sooth a colicky baby:

https://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/t051300.asp

or, if you think you have more of a "high-needs" baby:

https://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/t050400.asp

FWIW, DS was absolutely a high-needs baby. He did absolutely settle around 3 months and is a super-happy giggly bundle of delight. There is hope in your future, I promise!

You are a WONDERFUL mommy.

lkstor · September 2010

erinkate23:
((hugs))

It's so hard when they cry. You just want to cry along with them! I remember a few nights like that; I ended up waking up DH in tears and sobbing about being a terribly mommy!
This site is good for ideas to sooth a colicky baby:
https://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/t051300.asp
or, if you think you have more of a "high-needs" baby:
https://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/t050400.asp

FWIW, DS was absolutely a high-needs baby. He did absolutely settle around 3 months and is a super-happy giggly bundle of delight. There is hope in your future, I promise!
You are a WONDERFUL mommy.

I like erinkate's links. But I disagree with one point. COLIC resolves by 3 months. A high-needs baby will be a high-needs toddler, child, adolescent, etc. It's more a personality, which persists throughout life. Anyway -babywearing was a lifesaver with my LO. GL!

AMG06 · September 2010

You aren't alone! When Andrew cries and I can't figure out why or get him to stop I definitely feel like I've failed. I always thought I'd just know how to soothe him and what to do! You are doing a great job! Don't give up hope.

ezbakejess · September 2010

The fact that you're worrying about it means you're a good mother. A bad mother wouldn't care.

I feel like such a failure when I can't figure out why Hannah is crying. All I can do is put on her favorite music, hold her as tight as I can, and sing to her and dance with her. If I don't know what else to do I just make sure she can feel me loving on her.

sydney0928 · September 2010

I've been there already too. It's hard to hear them cry! You are doing a great job mama, don't doubt yourself for a second.

kellieok · September 2010

I know what you mean! But don't feel guilty!!! We have all been there...

Jacquiemark · September 2010

Don't feel down on yourself and please don't take it personally. I have had many days like that. I sit and cry with Amelia. After a good cry, I try to make sure I am calm and then re group. I make her worse when I am frustrated. Some nights nothing seemed to work but I still tried to soother her. I think it ended up that she just made her self exhausted and fell asleep. Check out those links. I googled all sorts of stuff to help but it was just trial and error.

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