Did you tell your boss?

greenturtles · September 2010

We just met with our RE yesterday and I have made appts for all of my initial tests. Of course they conflict with work. I am able to work from home two days a week but I couldn't get the appts on these days. I can totally work around the appts but it will be noticible that I am gone. I work in Chicago but live in the burbs (my RE is 10 min away). I am a super early bird and get into work at 6:30 am which is the same time my boss gets in. By the time I go to my appt, catch a train and get into work, it will be 9am. I can work late to make up the time, but like I said - it will be noticible because I am such an early bird. I can only imagine when I start Clomid and IUI next cycle that there will be many more appts that I need to make and will be very short notice.

So, I want to tell my boss. She has been my boss for 4 years and we have a great relationship so I think it will go well - i'm just nervous. The last girl in our office that got PG never returned. This is absolutely not an option for me as we need both incomes. I was going to give her a schedule of my appts that I have scheduled and give her my proposed work schedule to account for the missed time.

Have you told your boss? Any tips?

gui's gal · September 2010

Yep, I did tell my boss about 4 months ago, and I am still glad I did.

I asked to speak to her in private for a few minutes, and then I told her a sincere but concise explanation of what was going on. She was very understanding. I didn't want to give her a sob story or overload her with details, mainly I just wanted her to know that I might need a slightly flexible work schedule for about two weeks of every month and assured her my work would not suffer and reiterated that I enjoy and value my position.

Like you, I was a little worried that my boss would think that as soon as I got pregnant, I would quit...but this worry does not outweigh the relief I feel knowing she knows what's going on, on those mornings that I am 30 minutes late due to a long line at the REs, etc.

GL!

abvernon · September 2010

I just told my boss DH & I are having trouble TTC and we need to have various appts and tests done. She understood since she and her DH had problems too.

Luckily I am able to take sick time for these appts and I tried to schedule them first thing in the morning, during my lunch hour, or late in the afternoon.

beth0874 · September 2010

I did tell my boss. He is a really great guy. He took it very well and was supportive throughout. It really helped with all the appts. I was able to arrange most of my appts so that I did not miss time for work but with IVF it was tough with ER and ET. I don't have many tips except just be honest and explain you will make your best effort for it not to disrupt your work. Now his reaction to my BFN for IVF was a bit strange so I am not sure what I am going to tell him about IVF#2 but that is another long story. Best of luck to you If you already have a good relationship, as you stated, then it should go fine.

renafaith · September 2010

I told my boss. She has been very accomodating (although, up to this point, most of my appts have happened to fall on my days off). If I think I will need to be out on short notice, I always tell her *I won't know for sure until [insertdayofweekhere], but I'm anticipating the next time I will need to be off is....*

mharison · September 2010

I'm a teacher, and started out the year in a new building with a new boss. I knew going in that I would have to take a few days off this cycle. I was upfront with her, gave her the basics (we've been trying to get PG for a while, started meds) and had a few appointments during the day that I would need time off for. I reassured her that whenever possible I would schdeule for before or after school, but some couldn't be avoided.

She was very happy that I told her, and said it wouldn't be a problem. I feel really good that I did tell her, because otherwise I would worry that she would think I was blowing off work.

GL!

baloneydisc · September 2010

I own my own business, so the boss thing isn't an issue for me. I do share showroom space with 3 other businesses though and I did tell the owners of the other businesses. We try to schedule appointments together and I wanted them to know that all of my doctor's appointments were not movable, but that I'm not dying (we all have access to each other's calendars).

I was just honest with them. I told them that we were TTC and having some issues, so we are seeing a fertility doctor. They have been very supportive (it's 2 guys & a woman), especially since my m/c.

Nova726 · September 2010

luckily, I was always able to go for my monitoring appts in the morning at like 7:00 and still get in to work at my normal time. I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to my boss about my IF.

magnolia_femme · September 2010

I just started a new position, and I told my boss. She's really supportive and it helps a lot knowing I won't have to worry about her wondering why I'm missing work, etc.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

Itmamma · September 2010

So strange that you posted this........ I told my boss today! and it was kind of weird. I was not planning on it because she is socially awkward and never had children. She was totally unsupported when a coworker was 9 months pregnant and asked for what was IMO a very minor thing.

I actually have 2 bosses but this one wants me to go to her for time off- it all sounds very childish in what we are trying consider a professional environment.

Because of her weird response- like "I would prefer if you could hold off until next week" like I have control over the growth of my follicles- I am going to tell my other boss who is actually above her and has been totally supportive

O2BaMom · September 2010

I told my old boss and he was totally ok with whatever I needed. Unfortuantely I left that job, I am not planning on telling my new boss anything. I'm nervous it will be tricky but I just don't want to risk being let go because I'm trying to get pregnant (and using my new AMAZING insurance with IF benifits).

GildedIcon · September 2010

I would love to be able to tell my boss. I feel like I have this huge secret.

I know she would be super supportive but secretly panicked as it is common knowledge I would love to be a full-time mom and would not return to work. So I do not want to stir this pot of worry.

Luckly I have a very flexible schedule so my secret continues.....

crushandtang · September 2010

I told my male boss's and they were completly cool with it. I think I made them feel more uncomfortable than anything. He just suggested I fill out short term disability when I get the laproscopy just in case I am out longer than expected

cutebride73 · September 2010

Last year (school year) I told my boss and she was very understanding. She had a couple of losses and her daughter has gone through IF treatments - so she was super about it. It's hard b/c I work at a school and my RE is about an hour from my job, so even with a 7:00 AM b/w appt I couldn't get to work until 8:30 AM, which is an hour late. It was fine though. I could also leave early once in awhile by like an hour. If my appt was in mid-morning or mid-afternoon I would have to take a half day.

Now this year I have a new boss and it is a man. It makes me very nervous to say anything because I am just getting to know him. He is married and has a middle school age son and a college age daughter. He is a super nice and understanding guy. For this IUI, especially if it works our for Thursday, I will just take a sick day, either half or full day depending on the time of my appt. I will just say I have a dr. appt and no one will ask questions. If it doesn't work out I may have to say something next month. So I guess I plan to play it by ear.

Ms H13 · September 2010

We've told very few people IRL and my boss will definately not be one of them. Luckily I can also work fairly flexible hours so if I need to leave during the day I can easily make it up by coming in early/staying late.

greenturtles · September 2010

Thank you for all of the replies! I plan on telling my boss tomorrow.

Itmamma:
Because of her weird response- like "I would prefer if you could hold off until next week" like I have control over the growth of my follicles- I am going to tell my other boss who is actually above her and has been totally supportive

This just made me LOL. Seriously, please try and hold your follicles until it is convenient for work. Confused Glad you have another boss to speak with.

JMay · September 2010

I have to laugh, and I hope this doesn't bother anyone, but a good friend of mine, who is pregnant, was just told by her boss that if she will be starting her maternity leave earlier than planned (a week before due date) that the she'll really need advanced notice. So apparently, some bosses need both follies AND birth to work into their schedule. Some people!!! LOL

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