Hi ladies - Update (long, sorry)

mrshoppy_1231 · September 2010

I'm so sorry I've been MIA. After our trip I just didn't make it back here to post. I can't tell you how nice it was to be out of town and NOT thinking about IF! Smile I've been lurking though and congrats to those who got BFPs and ((hugs)) to those who have received bad news.

An update on me: We've decided to end our TTC journey - at least for now. After lots of thinking, talking, thinking and even more talking we realized that we feel like we "lost" the last 2.5 year of our lives together. IF took a toll not only on our marriage but on our professional, personal, financial and physical lives. I feel 10 years older than I am right now! It's a decision that has NOT been made lightly and I know that at any time I can change my mind and we can think about TTC again. But at this point we are done. And honestly it's a huge relief. We are so tired of disappointment, failed cycles, tears and sadness. I'm really ready to enjoy life again and hope that I can move on.

I don't know what it takes to be OK with living child free - or if you ever get to that point 100% but we're going to try. We have to. We decided that we just can't take the chance spending any more money on treatments that may not work.

Some of you may remember that I considered donating eggs. I went through the screening and testing process and was approved. If I am chosen I will still donate eggs. I think it would be theraputic to know that I am helping a couple struggling like we were, even though we probably won't ever have children of our own.

I'll still lurk and cheer you on, and I hope it's OK if I post every once in awhile. And I'll still follow your blogs of course. I'm just not sure where I belong now. You all have been SO supportive and I appreciate it so very much. It breaks my heart that any of us are going through this.

07may07 · September 2010

((hugs)) I wish you and your DH peace and happiness in whatever the future holds.

mdluv21 · September 2010

I think that is SO wonderful you are still open to donating your eggs. What a wonderful thing to consider doing and so selfless

I hope you and your husband come to peace with your decision and that you start to find peace and happiness with the other aspects of your life. IF can be all consuming.

I know I haven't been posting here for very long but your support and insight was very much appreciated.

Good luck with everything sweetie.

mainesmichelle · September 2010

I wish you a happy future and hope that you will stick around!!

hillaree · September 2010

I know this has to have been a long journey and a a difficult decision to make - I hope you experience much peace and joy as you move on to a new journey. You are welcome here any time!

xoxo

roselln2 · September 2010

Hey, sweetie. I just wanted to give you lots of (((hugs))). I'm sure it was a difficult decision to come to. Good luck to you in everything!

etoyama · September 2010

Big ((hugs)) Mrs. H. I hope that your decision brings you all of the peace and happiness that has been missing in your lives while on the horrible IF rollercoaster. I can't tell you how sorry I am that things turned out the way they did.

I think it is absolutely wonderful that you've decided to donate your eggs! What an incredible gift to be able to give a couple.

I do hope that you'll continue to post when you feel like it, and let us know how you're doing.

DrVWife · September 2010

Hugs to you. What a tough decision to make but it sounds like you and your hubby have put lots of thought and care into it. I want you to stay and cheer us on though...if you are okay with that.

madelyn07 · September 2010

Hey sweetie--I've been wondering where you've been. I'm glad you enjoyed your vacation!

I wish you all the happiness in the world. I know that decision is so hard to make and I hope that you are able to be at peace with it and find joy. I'm sure we are very close to making the same decision and I, too, already feel some sense of relief in that decision.

I'm always around if you want to chat! PM me or something.

:::hugs:::

k-mart · September 2010

(((hugs)))

Wishing you nothing but the best. I'm sure it's not an easy decision to make but I'm very happy you are both on the same page and able to make a decision that is right for the two of you.

Hope to still see you around here.

njohnson1972 · September 2010

(((hugs)))

I totally admire your decision and wish the best for you and your DH.

I think it is just incredible that you may donate your eggs, especially as someone that may do donor egg ultimately. That is such a selfless gift. It is amazing that even though IF isn't fair, there are definitely some great things that it brings out in us ladies and you are a great example.

mrslovebug · September 2010

((Hugs)) you are such a wonderful person! I hope to see you on FB still if you are breaking from the boards. xoxox

whispergrrl · September 2010

I'm so sorry that it ever comes to having to make a decision like this, hon...but I wish you and your husband peace in the decision you have made. You are more than welcome to keep posting here and chatting with all of us...just because you aren't pursuing treatments anymore doesn't mean you are any less affected by IF. You are one of us, and you will always be welcome here. *sending hugs*

BigHairQueen · September 2010

(((hugehugs)))

mrshoppy_1231 · September 2010

Thank you SO much ladies - your responses have me tearing up. I'm so happy I found this board and such and amazing group of strong women. I'll plan to stick around and cheer you on! The support here is incredible, I can't say it enough. I

you!

hopefulmommy · September 2010

Sometimes it takes a whole lot more strength to let go than to hold on. I admire you for this. I hope you find a world of fulfillment and happiness outside of IF. I will keep up with your blog for updates. GL!

wewannababy · September 2010

HUGS! I hope this decision will give you the time to work on living your lives together IF treatment free! Best of luck...

theworms · September 2010

(((HUGS)))

I know this decision did not come easily and I'm so sorry for all your heartache. Wishing you peace as you move forward.

Please check in from time to time and we're here if you need anything.

Thank you for all your support and always cheering me on, I really apprecaite it.

more ((HUGS))

SNB2B · September 2010

I wish you and your DH peace with your decision and will be thinking of you guys! Glad you had a good vacation

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