Shower for a 2nd baby?

MrsGhappilyeverafter · September 2010

What are your opinions on this?

My SIL and brother had a baby girl last summer. She's pg with #2 (another girl) and due in November. She wants another shower. I kind of thought 2nd showers were a no-no except if your kids are further spaced apart or if it's a different gender baby. She asked my opinion and I suggested a doing a sprinkle for her (even offered to do it myself). Now, she's suggesting a shower with her family and another shower with my family. Her reasoning is that she's worried the new baby will feel bad when she gets older that a shower wasn't thrown for her. Thoughts? Am I alone in thinking that's crazy? I don't hold it against my mom that she didn't have a shower for me since I was baby #2

I don't even know what to say to her at this point since I don't want to come off as rude. She claims she doesn't want gifts, but I know people will feel obligated to give a gift and that's kind of hard for some people with the baby being due so close to the holidays in my opinion.

erinkate23 · September 2010

I know that a lot of people think it's rude.

I love buying baby stuff, and I like parties....so personally, I have no problem with a second shower, especially if the goal is to celebrate the upcoming birth of her daughter, not to "get stuff." You can always word an invite with a note not to bring gifts. Maybe you can suggest a "meet the baby" party instead? I think people would have no problem at all with that!

The baby could CARE LESS about a shower - that's a silly reason. She wants a party, she should own up to it.

blondie223 · September 2010

I knew this post had to be about your SIL!! hahaha!! B/c when my SIL had #2 she HAD to have another shower too. And of course she did, but it was only about 10 people. I was also was under the impression you only received a shower for your 1st, especially being so close together. So, no your not alone in thinking its crazy that #2 will feel bad. I do believe your SIL just wants the attention on her (again)

Let us know what is decided.

MrsPatterson · September 2010

I really think that's tacky. I'd let a sprinkle slide, but to have two different showers for the second baby seems a little much to me, especially since it's the same gender and they are so close together! I mean, what could she possibly need? I know that we personally need a few other things, but not enough to warrant a shower, and certainly nothing we couldn't buy ourselves.

I guess if I were you, I'd just not say anything. If she still thinks you're throwing her a shower, I'd just say something like, "Oh I figured since you're having a shower for your side, you wouldn't need another one." Also, IMO, I think her reasoning about the second baby feeling bad about not getting a shower is pretty thin. I'm sure it's got nothing to do with that in reality, more that she just wants more showers!

lkstor · September 2010

Tacky!

roundtheworldgirl · September 2010

I think it's pretty gauche that your SIL is actually asking for not just one shower, but two! Especially since the babies are so close together. And the argument that she doesn't want one baby to feel left out is totally ridiculous, IMO. (And also, a baby shower is an occasion where the mom is showered with gifts - so saying she wants a shower but doesn't want people to bring gifts is kind of weird).

I don't have a problem with sprinkles in general, but they should be small and certainly not on the initiative of the mother. If someone had offered to throw one (small, tasteful, etc), that would be one thing. But for her to ask seems really selfish.

kellieok · September 2010

Until joining the bump, I never really though about showers for #2 being tacky or weird or whatevers... but then again I never really knew a lot of people having babies my whole life (I have a small family) so after having a baby of my own I would think, like pp said, that you wouldn't need that much stuff anyways... and like you said I can see having one for a different gender or if they are years apart... if anything I would like a sprinkle because if I were invited to a sprikle they would need things like clothes or diapers... I mean for my next one I don't have to worry about a pump, changing table, diaper genie, swing, toys, bath tub thing, towels...

eas15905 · September 2010

I think it's tacky. I found out that the ladies in my neighborhood are throwing me a second shower and I actually feel embarrassed about it! I told them no, we can just hang out but they are insisting. Anyway, I think 2nd showers are tacky and I'm sorry but the baby will have no idea.

ringer10 · September 2010

Ugg... i think it is in poor taste to ask for a shower, no matter what the circumstances. People will give gifts, so it sounds like she just wants the attention on her again. The child will no doubt, not care later in life and most people will bring a small gift when they meet the baby anyway.

Get this though. I am invited to a shower for someone having a 3rd baby. She is having a second of the same sex, so you would think she would have everything, right? Nope - she THREW OUT EVERYTHING when she moved last year and has nothing for a baby prior to 12 mos old. I think it is disgusting that she did not donate it and now has registered for her 3rd child.

I was also pg at the time and it would've been nice to possibly have some clothing and stuff handed down to me since she was team green the first two times. :::: vent over:::

pentagrl · September 2010

We are having a second "Shower" but it's being termed a sprinkle. Our LOs are different genders, but we'd have done it regardless. This time around though we're really just going for $$. And everyone knows it! we're doing a horshoe tournament and a white elephant auction and a 50-50 raffle. Plus food and desserts. It's more a celebration than a gift recieving type party. I'm fairly certain I'm the first in the family to do it but then again I'm one of the firsts to have a second baby.........

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