- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
1st Trimester
kymelissa
member
Options
Teacher, Pregnant, & Not Married...advice please!
kymelissa
member
This is my first post. I just took a pregnancy test this morning and still in shock that I am pregnant. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over 4 years and are planning on getting married. As far as I am concerned, I want to get married ASAP so that I can focus on baby.
My biggest concern? How do I tell people that I am not married and pregnant? I think if I was in any other profession, no big deal. I am 31 years old and I needed to "get the ball rolling" before my little ovaries dried up. But I am a teacher and I don't know how to go about it. Anyone else been in the same situation? Any school-age parents out there that can give me your opinion on the situation? I teach 2nd and 3rd grade. Thanks!
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Teacher, Pregnant, & Not Married...advice please!
Yikes. I guess it depends on your school district, public/private, etc.
Private schools (esp. religious ones) can fire a single teacher for becoming pregnant. It is legal, because often it is written in their contract.
Public school you should be fine, but depending on the "tone" of your district you may get some unhappy parents wanting their kids out of your class, etc.
People are going to talk!! Just be prepared. I went from engaged to married in 8 weeks and people talked (no, we were not pregnant!). Just don't let it get to you.
If you want to get married soon, do it before you're showing, 2nd and 3rd graders wont be able to do the math that you got your BFP before the wedding. Then tell the kids later on about the baby.
I am going to try and hold out to tell my kid the day before Christmas break(The day before Thanksgiving if I start showing sooner) and I am due in May also.
I don't really think those two comments should come up in the same conversation.
If it bothers you, buy a little silver band and wear it on your ring finger. I've never been asked if I was pregnant and married at the same time.
I'm a teacher and never told my class I was pregnant until I was showing and they asked.
Join our wiki and tell us what your baby eats for finger foods.
Join our wiki and tell us what your baby eats for finger foods.
I feel what you're going through. I was in your exact situation two weeks ago. I teach at a public school. When I went from having a boyfriend which no one knew about since I don't share my love life with the whole school to being engaged and married in less than four weeks the whole school gossiped, and they are right to do so, old ladies and men with nothing else to do... I'm 13 weeks pregnant but we married because we love eachother... so let them talk.
You can't lose your job because you're pregnant and not married, even my principal told me that, and you have 9 years at that school, so don't worry about the parents either. In her words "This isn't the 15th century." (She is 55 years old and very wise).
Decide if marriage is a right step for you in your relationship right now. If so, have a lovely, small wedding, (it can be all planned in a week or so-trust me), and you'll have 3 or 4 months to share baby news with everyone.
If you want to get married later, there isn't anything to be ashamed of. Chances are more than a third of your students' mothers are not married. Your biggest concern is the well-being of your litlle baby, that means no stress, who gives a rat's a** what some gossiping science teacher thinking about your marital status, or nosy students asking questions. Be proud of your growing baby bump and supportive boyfriend. And trust me, marriage doesn't change a thing, you still get the same man. Be brave and smile.
I had a friends at work in the same situation as you. I work in a school as well. Absolutely no one cares or says anything about it!
My one friend I've asked her about it, and she says her students just sort of assume she's married and call her Mrs. Most of the staff at this point just refers to her boyfriend as her husband.
One of my former coworkers was in a similar situation a couple years ago. She found out she was pregnant, and she was not married. In fact, she had only been dating the guy for a few months. We were both teaching at a high school and she already had tenure.
Honestly, everyone was really happy for her and I definitely didn't hear any gossip or criticism about her. Her students did know that she wasn't married, but it was no big deal. And we were working in a very wealthy school district, where parents can be extremely critical.
My friend decided not to get married right away, because they hadn't been together very long and didn't want to rush into anything. They did buy a house together right before the baby was born, though.
Good luck with your situation--- make the choices that make the most sense for you and don't worry about your job... no matter what, I'm sure you'll be fine.
Thanks for the supportive words! I needed them. I have done nothing but worry since I took the tests. I have only told my mom and sister (and of course, my boyfriend) and so I haven't been able to have that "exciting" moment yet because I am only 4 weeks along and don't want to tell too many people just yet.
Again, thanks for the support. I knew I would find others on here that had some similar situations.