Question
I'm visiting from the TTTC site and thought you might be able to answer my question better than anyone.
First, please take a look at my infertile past. Male factor (azospermia after vasectomy reversal), female factor (poor responder). 3 IVF failed with IVF ICSI
Well, we are now back to ground one with donor sperm.
So, my question(s)...
Which bank?
Which donor (if you are willing to share)?
I have one particular donor in mind with California Cryobank and I'm just wondering if you have worked with this bank, any suggestions for getting additional information about a specific donor. I called the customer service line and asked about the donor's pregnancy(ies). They told me that the donor had more than 5 pregnancies and more than 5 live births.
Should I be asking any other questions?
I have the baby photo, just wish they did lifetime photos like Fairfax.
Re: Question
I'm sorry your TTC journey has been such a rough one.
Which donor and which bank are questions that will be answered differently by everyone. For my wife and I, we were looking for a very specific ethnicity in our donor. There were only 19 in the whole country (I searched every bank that was licensed by NY and CA). So we picked the donor regardless of the bank.
You might ask the bank you pick about their storage fees and buy back options.
And personally I wouldn't worry too much about lifetime photos. We only have a baby photo of our donor. Our baby girl looks soooo much like my DW! And even if she didn't, she's ours and we are so in love. When your baby is finally in your arms you won't care if his hair is too dark or her eyes are too light because in that moment they will be perfect! :-)
We used California Cryobank. We never even bothered with the baby picture. Our donor was retired just after we concieved due to the number of pregnancys which is sad because we hadn't banked any for a possible sibling. We are a part of their sibling donor registry so I do know how many others there are and where they are.
Good luck in your search
I'm sorry you've had to go through this. I can totally understand him being upset about the situation, I think it's perfectly justified. I would say, totally unrelated to questions for the bank, that it would be a good idea to try and get HIM as involved in the donor decision-making process as you can. He may not be able to physically take part in making the baby, but having him be a part of that decision may help him to feel like he's part of the process rather than the process happening around him, if that makes any sense. You may already be doing that, which is awesome, just thought I'd throw it out there.
Oh, but here's a question for your RE if you're doing IUI: will they let him be part of the insemination? Will they let him be the one to push the plunger in and actually inseminate you once the catheter is in place, for example. Ours did allow this, and although I didn't do it every try I did do it the cycle that worked. As the non-bio mom it was really an incredible feeling for me, and it might help him to feel more connected.
I've heard only good things about California Cryobank, although that's not who we used (our RE was directly attached to a bank that they have a partnership with, so we went with them).
I think that everyone has different questions they need or want answered, but I can't think of anything else specifically. Picking a donor is a really difficult thing. I don't know what you've taken into consideration already but it sounds like you've been thinking a lot about it.
Good luck to you, I hope you come back to us with good news to report!
I don't know how many banks you have found through Google, but there is a searchable site that lists all the donors nationally, and all of the banks. It is called Spermcenter.com. It was easier for me to find a donor that way because my wife is filipino and there are not many filipino donors, particularly cmv- filipino donors. There is a membership fee, but if you tell me the particular characteristics you are looking for I can at least give you a list of the banks that the donors would be from.
Also, the chat boards of the banks themselves often have people who have bought donor information and are willing to email it to you if you don't want to pay for all of the info on all of the donors you are curious to know more about.
http://oi62.tinypic.com/2w73hq9.jpg
I'm planning to use a donor from CA Cryobank, because they have a good track record of service with my particular clinic.
You might ask your RE's office which banks they prefer working with. I found out that my doc doesn't like to work with one clinic I was considering, because they have received incomplete test results several times in the past from that bank. I wish I would have known that before I started selecting donors.
Good luck!