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March 2011 Moms
beeunit
member
Am I wrong to be hurt?
beeunit
member
So DH and I decided last night that we think doing a Gender Reveal Party would be cute, with just our closest family and friends. Nothing big, we'll have everyone over to dinner at our place and cut into a cake to reveal. That's it. I told one of my best friends about the idea, and she did nothing but rain on my parade. Here are a few of the things she said:
I think if the point of the party is to let everyone know the sex of your baby, but we won't find out until we go downstairs, how do you stop someone from running downstairs and yelling out "IT'S A ####". It sounds kind of like a mini baby shower? you could just decorate the basement in "baby", no specific color? and, how long between you guys finding out and this party? Will you both be able to not tell ANYONE? I explained to her that I would hope as adults, people would not run to the basement and see blue or pink place settings and scream upstairs "It's a BOY!". I mean....the thought that someone would do that hadn't even crossed my mind.I then explained that it's nothing like a baby shower. No gifts. We're cooking. Just come eat.
Why would I just decorate in "baby", if the point is to reveal the gender?
What does it matter how long we know before we tell everyone else? And no, we won't tell anyone because the important people will be at the party and be the first to know.
So, after all of the explanations I sent back to her, so never responded again. I sent her an email today that says "So, I take it you don't like the idea". She said, "No, not really". Hmm. I don't see what's not to like. She gets to eat dinner for free, and just hang out with our family and friends...people she knows and has known for years. At this point, if we do it, I am not planning on even inviting her. Maybe that's childish, but I'm hurt! I know that the world does not revolve around me and my new baby..I really do. But we TTC for almost 2 years, and she went with me to my very first RE appointment. I just thought she'd like to share in that moment. I don't know, maybe I'm blowing it out of proportion.
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Re: Am I wrong to be hurt?
It sounds like she is a good friend and if so, I would be a little hurt. Sounds like all of a sudden she isn't into the baby things with you. Honestly, I would have said something to her, but that is just me.
Oh and by the way.... Go Wolverines! haha
Don't let her ruin your parade. Is it possible she's just in a uber bad mood today? Either way I'm sorry!
That was amazing and made me smile!
I think I understand where your friend is coming from because I don't really "get" the point of gender revel parties, either.
It's funny because I wouldn't think twice about going over to someone's house for a get together for dinner and drinks where they will share whether they are having a boy or a girl...but once the words "gender reveal party" are added to the mix, I immediately think it's a huge, formal, orchestrated event similar to a baby shower...which seems similar to what your friend thought it would be like.
However, I would think long and hard before actually expressing that opinion to someone who was thinking about hosting one and seemed excited about it because I wouldn't want to rain over their parade- which IS what she did to you. And yeah, I would be hurt too if I was really excited about something and my girlfriend just shot my ideas down.
Also, if your friend has never had kids or been pregnant or if your friend has never heard of anyone having a gender reveal party before, I think her confusion is understandable.P.S.- I think you should have your party and enjoy it!! Don't let her ruin it for you.
I was hoping for that. Glad I made your day a little bit better
This, exactly
Oh, that sucks. Sometimes best friends are too honest because they feel like they should tell you something to your face instead of saying stuff behind your back. Personally, I would've been interested to hear why she didn't like the idea beyond her previous reasons because I wouldn't want my friends to come and then later bash my party behind my back. But that's me. Sometimes I care too much about what other people think. If I knew my other friends were on board and excited too then I would just tell that other friend that she's welcome to come, but try not to be a party pooper. Good luck!
I don't really "get" gender reveal parties either. It's just not something I would personally ever want to do so I can kind of see where she's coming from.
But I would never say that to a friend who came to me with the idea. Maybe she was just honestly confused as to what the party would be. If she really is your best friend you should still invite her. If she doesn't want to come then that's fine but I think it would be tacky to not invite her after already talking to her about it.
If you want the party, have the party and don't worry about it.
SOOOOO true!
EDD 1/31/13, MC May 17. EDD 3/31/13, MC July 26. I miss you so much already my angel loves