Disgusted post

Married071709 · September 2010

I deleted it. I really didn't want to start a huge debate. I respect the people that have to do for medical reasons. I'm pretty sure this lady just didn't want it. (She doesn't work, she is on state aid, she was never excited about it, she seems like a very depressed person)

I hope I didn't offend anyone. I was just trying to share the pain and struggles of this journey. . . It comes when you least expect it.

Sorry again if I offended anyone.

AuburnBride06 · September 2010

Oh did it stir up controversy? That's too bad. I think it was pretty obvious what kind of person and circumstance you were telling us about. Very big difference between someone who is careless & obviously has no business reproducing, VS someone who needs an abortion for medical reasons or other circumstances that are obviously out of their control (rape, etc). I didn't see it as an abortion debate. And YES, abortion or no abortion, it hurts so bad to see someone able to get (and stay) pregnant who has no business doing it or who has no desire for that child. What you posted was in no way offensive. We can ( and should) post our opinions and feelings.

njohnson1972 · September 2010

What did I miss? Stupid role play is getting in my way of bumping at work.

Yellow_Daisy · September 2010

I didn't respond or see the responses, but I support a woman's right to choose and while it may not be the decision I would make, I also don't feel I have the right to judge that person.

When I see someone who treats their children badly or has a lot of abortions I try to remind myself that their fertility does not affect/cause my infertility. Yes of course it stings and I feel it is unfair, but just as we wish people knew what it was like to walk a day in our shoes, other people feel the same about their lives and choices.

I don't think you are wrong for your opinion, no one should tell you your opinion is wrong, it is yours and you can believe what you want, but I didn't respond because I didn't like the tone, it just seemed really judgemental, IMHO. But I really don't think you should have to apologize for what you feel or delete your post. If people don't like it then they don't have to reply.

AuburnBride06 · September 2010

Yellow_Daisy:
I didn't respond or see the responses, but I support a woman's right to choose and while it may not be the decision I would make, I also don't feel I have the right to judge that person.

When I see someone who treats their children badly or has a lot of abortions I try to remind myself that their fertility does not affect/cause my infertility. Yes of course it stings and I feel it is unfair, but just as we wish people knew what it was like to walk a day in our shoes, other people feel the same about their lives and choices.

I don't think you are wrong for your opinion, no one should tell you your opinion is wrong, it is yours and you can believe what you want, but I didn't respond because I didn't like the tone, it just seemed really judgemental, IMHO. But I really don't think you should have to apologize for what you feel or delete your post. If people don't like it then they don't have to reply.

Yes 100%

ETA: We all have days where stuff, just like this, stings. I challenge anyone to say they haven't. It's just part of the "it's not fairs" that go along with this IF crap. I will be the first to admit that I do judge, but most of the time it IS warranted. When I say that one of our friends let their sick baby with 103* fever stay out in below 20* weather, and what a terrible mother she is and how terrible and hurt it made me feel, yes I'm judging, but you're dang straight that I have reason to.

People should not be made to feel like they can't share their feelings, no matter if everyone thinks they are "right" or "wrong". While other people's lives & reproductive states do not impact if we can have a baby or not, they can and do hurt us emotionally & psychologically, and those expressions of frustration/hurt should not be turned away. Just as Yellow Daisy said, if someone doesn't like what is posted, they don't have to respond.

Married071709 · September 2010

Yes, it probably was really judgemental. I usually am not a judgemental person. It is not my place to judge. In this case, I was. It just really hurts to see someone "throw away" what I want so badly. I do not know her honest reason for what she did, I can only assume. We all know when we assume we make an a$$ out of me and you Or just me in this case.

That being said, I am sorry for the post. Somethings are probably better left alone in my little mind. This probably would have been better as a blog post. This IF journey has left me bitter and I am really trying to be a more positive person.

I hope that you ladies know what I meant by it (even if it was judgemental). It was a vent of frustration. Abortion is a touchy subject. I didn't want to spark a discussion of whether it was right or wrong. I just wanted to share my pain, sadness, anger, etc.

Yellow_Daisy · September 2010

Married071709:

Yes, it probably was really judgemental. I usually am not a judgemental person. It is not my place to judge. In this case, I was. It just really hurts to see someone "throw away" what I want so badly. I do not know her honest reason for what she did, I can only assume. We all know when we assume we make an a$$ out of me and you Or just me in this case.

That being said, I am sorry for the post. Somethings are probably better left alone in my little mind. This probably would have been better as a blog post. This IF journey has left me bitter and I am really trying to be a more positive person.

I hope that you ladies know what I meant by it (even if it was judgemental). It was a vent of frustration. Abortion is a touchy subject. I didn't want to spark a discussion of whether it was right or wrong. I just wanted to share my pain, sadness, anger, etc.

Don't stress about it. If I had a dollar for every post I should have kept to myself well I would have quite a bit more money ;-). It's hard to filter through pain, if that makes sense.

koyn · September 2010

Yellow_Daisy:

I didn't respond or see the responses, but I support a woman's right to choose and while it may not be the decision I would make, I also don't feel I have the right to judge that person.

When I see someone who treats their children badly or has a lot of abortions I try to remind myself that their fertility does not affect/cause my infertility. Yes of course it stings and I feel it is unfair, but just as we wish people knew what it was like to walk a day in our shoes, other people feel the same about their lives and choices.

I don't think you are wrong for your opinion, no one should tell you your opinion is wrong, it is yours and you can believe what you want, but I didn't respond because I didn't like the tone, it just seemed really judgemental, IMHO. But I really don't think you should have to apologize for what you feel or delete your post. If people don't like it then they don't have to reply.

well said

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