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3rd Trimester
DH & work travel...thoughts? (long)
Just looking for opinions as to whether or not I'm being unreasonable.
DH
generally travels once a month for work. It could be a 1-hour plane
ride or across the country; the number of days varies. Early on, we
discussed when he should stop traveling. I didn't feel comfortable with
him being gone the last 2 weeks of September and asked that he schedule
his trips before then. He said that was fine. (I'm high-risk and more
likely to go into labor early)
Fast forward to this week...originally he thought he would be gone part/most of this week on a trip, but he couldn't get enough appts scheduled to make it worthwhile to go. He asked what I thought about him going next week and I repeated that I would prefer he not go (it's about a 6 hour flight each way, assuming no layovers) in case something happens. Well, he comes home from work last night saying he is leaving Monday AM and coming back Tuesday PM.
I was obviously NOT happy. If he was going to be closer, I would not have a problem with it at all. His job does not hinge on this trip, nor is his salary dependent on it. I do not want him to miss the birth and I certainly can't predict whether or not something will happen when he's gone. I can't force him not to go, but if he changes his plans and nothing happens, he won't be happy, and if he goes and I do into labor, I won't be happy.
I realize it's just 2 days, but since we talked about this months ago, I can't help feeling annoyed. (He claims we discussed him potentially going next week and I said it was okay...I totally don't remember that conversation at all.).
Am I being completely unreasonable? (have to go a meeting, but I'll be back later)This discussion has been closed.
Re: DH & work travel...thoughts? (long)
I am going through the same thing with my DH, so I totally understand how you feel and don't think you're being unreasonable. Even though your man is only going to be gone a relatively small window of time, it's still scary the closer the due date comes, and I wish these guys would understand how important it is to us to have them both physically and emotionally available at this time.
In my case, my DH has been gone this whole week and is also going to be gone next Monday-Thursday night, with a 2+ hour drive plus 2 hour flight if there were to be an emergency. He thinks it'll all be fine since I won't have hit the 37-week mark yet, but I don't know... I'm not at all reassured.
No advice, but just wanted you to know I totally understand!
I am in a similar situation! My husband travels once a month for work also, for three days, and he drives though, through his sales territory. And at his furthest point is 6-8 hours drive. He hits a different area every month (rotating between three areas) and this time, he's about 6 hours away at his furthest point. His job or salary doesn't hinge on when he goes, but because his boss is not cooperative (he has to help with my DH in office work while he travels, so he doesn't like it when DH is gone) he didn't leave my DH much window in when he could go this month. I am due 9/30, with pregnancy #2. First pregnancy, my water broke 2 1/2 weeks early, and I was only 1 cm dilated! So, we're thinking who knows what could happen this time, because I'm already dilated to 3!
I told my DH to totally go, keep his trip, - he left yesterday, and is due to return Friday 9/17. He said he would stay home if I asked him, but its only a 50/50 chance I'd actually go into labor, AND even at six hours, he probably won't miss anything.
If your DH is only an hour away by flight, you're not going to have that baby in an hour from start to finish, so I think you're safe.
I don't think you're being unreasonable, I think you're trying to err on the side of caution, but, in this case, I don't think you need to.
He'll be a 6 hour flight away... and that's assuming he could immediately get a flight back out here. I just feel like as soon as he leaves, something will happen and he won't make it back in time.
Mr Techie travels as part of his job- he's a consultant. His actual area of business is local (no more than an hour away from where we live) but his skills are so in demand by his company that he gets calls from the VPs asking him to go across the country to pitch in with other projects. The time away from home varies. Right now, he's 4 hours away and has been gone all week. He will be gone all week next week as well.
However, given my high risk status, he is refusing to travel after 9/30. I'll be 31 weeks at that point. The management has tried to talk him into "just a few days" for projects going on after 10/1 and he's turned them all down. He has indicated to his employers that he will not be travelling until January.
I feel like my DH understands my situation and we've known from the start that I'm not going to last to 40 weeks. I know he will be here. He will probably be glued to his laptop and bluetooth until the LO is physically here but I won't have to call him in from another state.