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Preemies
XP unwanted NICU visitor WWYD?
So, I get to the NICU this aft, and the nurse told me that Great Grandma came up to see Gwen, and that she told the secretary that we had given permission for her to come up and hold her. There are only 4 people on the visitor list, and DH's G-ma is not one of them. I am sure you all can recall stories but this lady is nuts. She is the Nasty MIL, only she is a g-ma instead.
So, when the nurses asked for ID, she turned around and booked it out of the hospital. They were a bit alarmed, and felt the need to relay the situation to me. I told them that she is not allowed to be up there, and that I was glad that they turned her away. Instantly my momma bear instincts kicked in, and I felt rage! Who does she think she is? DH and I told her that she would have to wait to see Gwen until she came home, and she deliberately went against that, and tried to sneak in with a lie.
She has no boundaries ( giving our 6 month old Nolan a peanutbutter cookie after we told her no, like turning her back to me and doing it anyway) I am pissed, but Dh is totally non-confrontational so I fear nothing will get said. WWYD?This discussion has been closed.
Re: XP unwanted NICU visitor WWYD?
omg i'm so pissed for you! i too would be livid - as if having a baby in the NICU isn't stressful enough without dealing with crazy disrespectful relatives.
i also have a non-confrontation husband and so i feel you on that one. our usual policy is that we each deal with our own crazy family. but on something like this i feel like i would say something because this is beyond inappropriate and a bit beyond diplomacy and because it would send me into a mama bear level of crazy proportions.
i would warn her that if she doesn't follow the rules (not just yours, but the nicu policies) you won't be able to trust her with your child. the nicu has these policies of limiting visitors for a reason. it's disrespectful, inappropriate and adding stress that you don't need. it's not a lot to ask for people to hang back while your baby gets the care she needs.
good luck!
Brady Phoenix, 8.29.09
Claire Zoe, 10.26.10
I'd be so upset. I'm glad your NICU is on top of things. They probably deal with that frequently actually.
As far as what I'd do, I'd do nothing. You already told her she'd have to wait. She came anyway and the NICU confronted her. I'd personally let it go. You can't change her, she thought she can see your baby, nothing you will say will make her change her mind. You have more things to worry about with your baby in the NICU I'm sure. There's nothing to be done, you already confronted her. It's useless to go to great grandma and say "I know you were there today, I told you not to" or something like that. Just stay let the NICU know again to make sure. We had a visitor policy that no one could see the babies without DH or I present. You can add that to the NICU list.