having some serious WM guilt today :(

GTBrideKC · September 2010

Let me first say that I appreciate how lucky I am that I work part time, generally I think it's a good balance for both DD and me. But... I still feel guilty. When I first went back, it wasn't too bad since we were really slow with work. But now things have been picking up and I have a deadline at the end of the month that I'm nowhere near ready for (mostly b/c they are scheduling me as if I were still working 50hours/week instead of 24). I usually try to leave work no later than 5pm, but today I didn't get home till after 7pm. I spent all of an hour with DD today, put her to bed and now I'm about to spend another couple hours on work (after I get off the bump, of course). I'm glad I have the next 4 days with her, but even so I have this deadline looming over my head like a dark cloud. I feel guilty I'm not dedicating more time to work. I feel guilty I'm not spending more time with DH and DD. I feel guilty that I missed DD saying "bye" for the first time (as she was leaving daycare).

It's life, I suppose, but it's so difficult. I'm exhausted. I don't know how full time working moms do it. There is no way I could do it full-time (definitely not in my field, which is notorious for lack of work-life balance). I can't do part-time forever so I need to figure something out.

Thanks for letting me vent. Sad

skibrook82 · September 2010

HUGS to you!! I could have written this myself, as I just started back FT this last week. I worked 3 days/wk the whole summer after my maternity leave and now I am really struggling too. I also feel like I am drowning in work and can't seem to find the balance. DS is my #1 priority and I feel like I just can't give him enough time. I am constantly feeling guilty for having him at daycare for 9-10 hours per day, and I still dont' have all my work done. I hope that once you get past this deadline things will settle down a bit. If things continue I think maybe you could set up sometime with your boss to talk about your responsibilities and possibly scaling back? I hope it gets better!

lkstor · September 2010

I feel the same way. Working nights has been great for me... But it looks like that will be coming to an end soon and I'll be back to full-time days away from LO. It's so hard

eas15905 · September 2010

Aww, I'm sorry hun! To be completely honest, I think it's hard to escape the guilt. I felt guilty when I wasn't working because we were so strapped financially and we had to cut out a lot of fun things like trips, date nights, etc. When I was working full time I felt bad that I wasn't with LO. Even now that I'm working PT I feel some of the same guilt that you described.

Hopefully you can talk to your DH and boss once this deadline passes and figure something out that works better for you. GL!

kellieok · September 2010

I totally understand what you mean... I told my mom it breaks my heart that I have to leave for work about 7 then I don't get home till 5 and once DS starts sleeping earlier I'll only have a few hours with him but even then those hours will be spent cooking, cleaning, taking a shower, etc... I totally had to re-evaluate things while I was on leave and since I already hate my job I decided to go back to shool that way I can work as a school librarian which means I would have school hours and holidays which is perfect for later down the road when DS starts school.

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having some serious WM guilt today :(

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