my friend told me this would be a great message board for me.
my fiance and i just suffered the loss of an ectopic pregnancy. for him this is his first, but for me its my second. i was married before and had gone through this 9 years ago.
youd think after going through all the pain of this kind of loss would make it easier. sometimes it is, most of the time its worse. i was told after my first ectopic that id never get pregnant again. after finding out we were pregnant this go round, i thought "finally - God is smiling down on us, timing is right, i'm ready now to be a mom" - a million positive things going through my brain.
everyone keeps telling us to keep faith. does anyone know how stupid and challenging that sounds right now? i'm not an overly religious person but i'm just so angry right now. how could God put me through this again - why does he feel the need to keep teaching me this awful lesson? what the hell could i possibly take from this that i havent already gone through and learned.
i've also found myself - a very focused person - not able to stand still. i have a hard time keeping my mind on track - if i start something i dont seem to want to finish it. what sounds like a good distraction and fun - seem dull and boring 5 minutes later. has anyone else felt the same way?
i know this is a very blunt way of introducing myself, but i just need someone to vent to that isnt going to say "im sorry - its going to be okay". its not okay, its not fair.
thank you for hearing me.
kerri
Re: new to the board
I am so very sorry for your loss. Its definitely not fair that people who want to be parents so bad should ever have to suffer a loss. While many ladies here have suffered losses you may want to check out the TTC after a loss board as well.
(((HUGS)))
Welcome to the board although I wish you didn't have to be here with us. I am very sorry for your loss.
Me - DX Hashimoto's Disease, Hypothyroid, Rheumatoid Arthritis
DH - DX Azoospermia - Sertoli Cell Syndrome
DS-IUI #1-4 BFN IVF #1 - BFP! It's a boy!!!
Welcome! I'm very sorry for your loss. Even though I am not overly religious either, I do often wonder why God has chosen for me to suffer with infertility. There are crack heads and awful people out there that get pregnant over and over again, how is that fair? It isn't fair, there's no guarantee it will be ok, but I do believe we have to have hope. I guess that's the only string I have to hold on to at this point...
Good luck to you...
Welcome to the board, although I'm sorry that you have to be here. I'm so sorry about your losses. IF and loss blow!! I've have felt many of the same feelings you describe...I think many of us have. Saddness, anger, difficulty staying focused,etc etc etc. It all sucks.
Again, welcome. The woman on this board are wonderful. I hope your stay is short and sweet.
I'm so sorry for your losses, there is nothing fair about IF. It just all around sucks.
Welcome to the board.
welcome to the board, i hope your stay here isn't very long.
i'm so sorry for your losses. i think most of us can relate to being easily distracted. we've all go so much on our mind, really to us it's the most important thing we can do - starting a family. i know for a while the last thing i wanted to do at work was actually work.
IF sucks and is totally unfair.
So sorry for your losses. (((HUGS)))
Welcome to the board! The ladies here are so sweet and helpful. I also hope your stay here is short.
IF SUCKS!!
I am new to this board too. I think you will find a lot of love and support here. Everyone understands where you are coming from and the emotions you are feeling. I am sorry for you loss.