question about destination weddings

njbride0603 · September 2010

If you go to a destination wedding do you still give a wedding present? I would say yes - depending on who it is and where you are going maybe not as big of a present as if the wedding was local but I would still give something. My BIL got married in Aruba back in June and his sister and her husband never gave him and his wife a wedding present. Now I know you have up to a year but I don't think it's coming. At the time of their wedding they were pretty broke b/c her husband quit his job w/out another job but once he got something I htought they would give them a present but they haven't. My new SIL is upset especially when they are out buying iphones and throwing huge parties. Do you think she is right for being upset? I'm wondering if htey think they don't have to b/c tey spent money to go down there. If that is the case at least a card would have been nice!

LynnJones · September 2010

Well I had a destination wedding and was surprised at how many people did give us a gift. I thought that was extremely generous considering they were spending a lot of money to go to it. I wouldn't be upset if someone didn't give me a gift, I think that's being greedy.

Mrs.Hizzo · September 2010

I did not expect gifts. I received them from most who attended, but it wasn't necessary as far as I was concerned. People dropped a lot of $$ getting there.

Chrysallys · September 2010

I've been to two destination weddings, I was MOH in both, and for both I did not give a present. I did do shower/bachelorette stuff though. The last bride (in August) specifically asked me not to get one because she knew what a hardship it was for us to come out there.

I don't know, I think the freak out over gifts is stupid, honestly. We had quite a few friends not give us a wedding gift (wedding party included) and we couldn't have cared less. Their gift was their presence.

So yeah, SIL needs to chill. If they expected people to fly out to their wedding they shouldn't expect a present in addition. Yes, a card would have been nice but some people aren't card people.

kmjbjg · September 2010

LynnJones:
Well I had a destination wedding and was surprised at how many people did give us a gift. I thought that was extremely generous considering they were spending a lot of money to go to it. I wouldn't be upset if someone didn't give me a gift, I think that's being greedy.

This. exaclty.

kmjbjg · September 2010

LynnJones:
Well I had a destination wedding and was surprised at how many people did give us a gift. I thought that was extremely generous considering they were spending a lot of money to go to it. I wouldn't be upset if someone didn't give me a gift, I think that's being greedy.

This. exactly.

McKuffy · September 2010

I've been to about 10 destination weddings and always buy a gift.

Miss Manners would say however that no-one is obligated to buy you a wedding gift. If you attend a shower which is soley for the purpose of showering gifts your obligated to bring a gift. The purpose of the wedding is to witness the wedding. Gifts are optional. Funny huh

njbride0603 · September 2010

all the etiquette I just read on the internet says it's the same wedding etiquette for a destination wedding too and you are expected to bring a gift. going to the wedding is always optional so if you can't afford a gift and a trip I wouldn't just decline. However this is his sister - I can't imagine not buying your sibling a wedding present even if you went to Mexico for their wedding.

katypresson · September 2010

I don't think they should expect a gift at all. Especially since they didn't have steady income at the time of the wedding and still spent the $$$ to attend - even though it's family....if you don't have the money, you don't have the money.

If they are upset about not receiving a gift - they are being selfish and greedy.

sju · September 2010

I agree that a card would be nice. I think your SIL needs to get over it, though. I technically had a Caribbean destination wedding because most of us (except most of my family who lives there already) had to fly to our location. Out of the people who flew to get there, only a friend did not give us a gift. No card either but it's fine. She joined us for our special day. There were more locals who did not give us gifts. :-)

With that said, I do not agree with the DW=no gifts. I still give gifts.

deltagirl79 · September 2010

The point of inviting people to your wedding is to have them there with you on the day you pledge your lives to one another, not to get gifts from them. I had a local wedding and did not recieve gifts from people in my family and I was just glad they were there. We are going to Maui in January for a wedding and our being there is our gift to them, a week in Maui is a lot of money for us.

The fact that they were having financial difficulties at the time of the wedding and still attended should have been enough and your SIL sounds greedy and selfish to me.

deltagirl79 · September 2010

njbride0603:
all the etiquette I just read on the internet says it's the same wedding etiquette for a destination wedding too and you are expected to bring a gift. going to the wedding is always optional so if you can't afford a gift and a trip I wouldn't just decline. However this is his sister - I can't imagine not buying your sibling a wedding present even if you went to Mexico for their wedding.

I'm sorry I disagree with this. It's the groom's sister would they really rather have a toaster instead of having them at the wedding?

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