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Separation Anxiety... tell me your experience...

Suzi-G-Suzi-G- member
in Houston Babies

Cooper has started crying when I drop him off at school.  We changed schools and he started going full time two weeks ago.  Before he stayed with my parents and went to a different daycare 2 days a week June-August.  I really don't think the crying has to do with the new school though, he's always happy to see his teacher and is always happy when I pick him up.  It's just my leaving that sets him off--he cries, clings to me, climbs my leg, tries to crawl out the door with me.  It's awful.  Crying

Everything I've read says it strikes around 7-12 months and again at 18 months (some say it's continuous from 7-18 months but I'm choosing to ignore those sources).  But nothing I've read says how long it lasts or gives any sort of helpful advice.  Confused

So if you had a kiddo that had separation anxiety around Cooper's age (especially if your kiddo was in daycare) how did you deal with it?  How long did it last?  Any advice?  Sympathy?  

 

My big boy is bounding towards 4! Baby brother coming in October!
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Hipster dog is not impressed.
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Re: Separation Anxiety... tell me your experience...

  • ayersfam20ayersfam20 member

    :o(

    No advice or experience .... but lots of sympathy!  If it helps I saw many Moms drop kiddos off who were screaming and clingy when DD was in daycare and the second Mom left the kid stopped and got right into playing.

    I know it's tough to walk away when he's like that.  I would just not drag out the goodbye.  Sit the stuff down kiss him and walk off so there's not a big oh no Momma's leaving moment.

    Sorry you're dealing with this!

    Abbie Rose 9.26.2004
    Collin Thayne 10.11.2010
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  • readyforbabyreadyforbaby
    imageSuzi-G-:

    Cooper has started crying when I drop him off at school.  We changed schools and he started going full time two weeks ago.  Before he stayed with my parents and went to a different daycare 2 days a week June-August.  I really don't think the crying has to do with the new school though, he's always happy to see his teacher and is always happy when I pick him up.  It's just my leaving that sets him off--he cries, clings to me, climbs my leg, tries to crawl out the door with me.  It's awful.  Crying

    Everything I've read says it strikes around 7-12 months and again at 18 months (some say it's continuous from 7-18 months but I'm choosing to ignore those sources).  But nothing I've read says how long it lasts or gives any sort of helpful advice.  Confused

    So if you had a kiddo that had separation anxiety around Cooper's age (especially if your kiddo was in daycare) how did you deal with it?  How long did it last?  Any advice?  Sympathy?  

     

    Sorry but I think we are in this camp.  There have been times that have been fine but in general I would say we have had a pretty long run of separation anxiety.  DS is a very happy kid but he does tend to melt down when I drop him off in the morning or if a family member is going to babysit...or even if someone else just wants to hold him. The good news is that he does get over it very quickly.  As hard as it might be I think it is best to drop him off as quickly as you can and then get out of the room.  He had been doing great with drop offs for a while but about a month ago they transitioned him to the toddler room and ever since then it has become hard again.  He loves his new room so I am not really sure what is going on but it is finally getting better.  I do try and spend a few minutes in his room and hope for a smooth drop off but if I can tell it isn't going to work I just hand him to the teacher.  I always peak through the window on my way out and he has always calmed down already.

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  • Erika&BrianErika&Brian
    It's tough. My suggestion, make drop offs super quick. The longer you drag it out the worse it is. When you are out of sight they forget about you pretty quickly I promise :-). I don't have any reasoning behind the timing, Grant is now almost 2.5 and there are still days he cries, other days he says "go away mommy"....kids are so not rational :-). Good luck, it gets easier!
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  • darvadarva

    Ditto Erika and Ayers... Micaela did this off and on until she was 3-4.  It sucks! 

    I always tried to 'talk it up'  (although obviously not really going to work when they're so young) before we got there and then made my exit as quick as possible.  "pass off, kiss goodbye, out the door"

     

     

    ~*~Jenn~*~
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  • Suzi-G-Suzi-G- member
    Sigh.  Thanks.  Today was better.  I think it helps if I don't put him down until I'm ready to go.  This morning I held him while I put his stuff away and while I chatted with his teacher, then told him bye-bye and put him down and tried to scoot out the door before the water works started.  I almost made it.  But not quite.  :(
    My big boy is bounding towards 4! Baby brother coming in October!
      image
    Hipster dog is not impressed.
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  • CareBear01CareBear01

    imageSuzi-G-:
    Sigh.  Thanks.  Today was better.  I think it helps if I don't put him down until I'm ready to go.  This morning I held him while I put his stuff away and while I chatted with his teacher, then told him bye-bye and put him down and tried to scoot out the door before the water works started.  I almost made it.  But not quite.  :(

    I think this works well, too - b/c you are getting him used to the new environment (comfortably - with him in your arms) before you drop him off.  I have thought about doing this, but i have nothing to chat about his teachers about, so I feel awkward just standing there holding him, so I just do the quick drop and leave!  I feel bad sometimes  - I always wonder what other parents do.

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