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January 2011 Moms
XP: Scary Night & Update
(copied from PAIF)
I want to say thank you ladies, so much for all your kind words and support yesterday. It really means a lot.
DH came over last night and we talked. For hours, about everything. Boundaries, likes/dislikes, respect, etc... Things are better now, but we did hurt each other and know this will take some time. I start seeing a therapist on Friday which I think will help sort out feelings and help me with perspective. DH was very apologetic and said he spoke out of anger and he would never take my name off accounts, etc. Thank goodness my sister is a lawyer and I immediately called and she said he can't really do that.
Anyways.... after this long talk, dh and I happened to become intimate and the scariest thing ever imagineable happened. I started bleeding. I mean red, heavy blood. It was like AF was here. I was having some minor cramping and pressure. ALthough it was midnight, I called the on-call doc and she said I could go to L&D or come in first thing in the morning. I have been there pretty much all day. LO's hb was good and strong, cervix is closed and long and bleeding has tapered, just brown stuff now. They hooked me up to monitors to see if I am contracting and nothing that set off alarms. For now I am on bedrest until they see me next week and pelvic rest indefinitely. This has never ever happened. I hate to say it, but I think a lot of it was caused by stress, it made dh feel like an a**, and I hope it really woke him up to the hell he put me through. Unfortunately, he is gone for work for a few days so my parents still came to stay with me. I am still cramping, but hoping everything will be just fine and trying to relax. Thanks again ladies for all your support!
DX: Unexplained IF/possible PCOS
5/5/2010 Surprise BFP!
After 2 miscarriages and many prayers, our angel is here:)
This discussion has been closed.
Re: XP: Scary Night & Update
I am glad to hear that you and your DH are working it out. And I think therapy is good for everyone
I am so sorry about your scare. I had one last week as well. I was bleeding pretty good for about 8 hours and it scared the crap out of me. But all is well now. I am glad to hear that you are doing ok too.
I am very glad that things have settled down and y'all talked! Scariness about the blood, but again, VERY glad it all worked out!
You said you are starting therapy, but what about him? Are you two going to therapy together? Is he going separately? I mean, you don't have to answer these questions, just something to think about because I highly doubt you are the only one in that situation it could help! It sounds like he could use some for stress management and communication issues? Either way, I'm really glad everything is going better!
::Hugs::
I was just going to page you and see how things were. Please, please know that without therapy for both of you, this cycle could reasonably repeat itself indefinitely. Honestly, I would make couples therapy mandatory if he wants to come back home - you have to focus on what's best for you & LO, and the added stress will not be good for either of you.
I sincerely hope you can work things out (if that's what you want), but it's going to take effort from both of you.
And, I'm even more glad to hear that everything is OK with LO! I hope your cramping stops soon, too, so you will be able to relax a bit more.
I was not able to post yesterday but I want to say that I am sorry to hear about your situation. I hope for the sake of the baby that you and your DH can reach an agreement. I know when we got engaged my husband, then fiance, freaked out and left a month later. It took a while to get over it but he did agree to talk to someone. I definitely would have your DH see someone, not only you.
Glad to hear that your baby is doing well.
Wow...you just can't catch a break this week! How scary! I'm so glad that everything is ok with your LO!
It sounds like you and your husband are on track to start working on things. A long talk is a great way to start! GL!
Glad you guys are talking. I agree with PP, you need to make couples therapy with DH a mandatory condition of staying together. Who's to say he won't freak out on you again? You should also have some things in place to protect yourself if he pulls this on you again and this time he actually cleans out your bank accounts and takes off. If it were me, I would not be able to trust him for a long time and he would know he has some work to do to get it back.
Sorry about the scare. Glad LO is still doing ok and I hope you and DH can get this all straightened out.
I am glad to hear you and your husband talked, but I agree with pp that you both need counseling (maybe try individual and couples counseling) to get through this and help to prevent another occurrence later on.
I am also glad to hear your LO is alright after that scare-take care of yourself!
Carina 12.28.2010 | Aurelia 9.23.12 | Chart - Round 3