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2nd Trimester
KelleyBelly11
member
There better be flowers on the counter when I get home!
KelleyBelly11
member
For the past two weeks my husband has "jabbed" me during our conversations. By jabbed I mean he has constantly used smart-Alec remarks, whispering mean responses under his breath, putting words in my mouth, and after I answer his question he continues the 20 question game to my one answer. I kept my feelings to myself because I know he's been stressed at work, plus he was gone for work and gone hunting with his friends to unwind for the weekend, I didn't want to fight over the phone.
The last straw was while we went grocery shopping last night. He yelled at me in the store for putting a Pringles can and a 4 pack of yogurt on top of the french bread.
That pretty much continued the whole drive home. He said things about how HE has a job and HE does all this stuff for me and baby and HE just tries to make me happy, and blah blah blah!
When we got home I unleashed all my pent up feelings for the past 2 weeks. I was a sobbing mess!!!! I cried so hard I even threw up. I didn't forget one of his harsh comments towards me and I repeated them all!!! I asked him how he wanted me to feel after he said those things?!? If that's suppose to make me was to stick around?!?!?
He sat there in silence with wide eyes and mouth hanging open. So I took our puppy for a walk at 10pm still sobbing! I didn't return until 11pm. I found him on the couch sitting with red eyes and Kleenex all over. He embraced me the second I came in which made me start sobbing all over again. He said sorry, that he had no idea he was doing that and admitted to being a jerk and said sorry again.
I told him I still hurt and I just wanted to go to bed. He let me go to be in peace and told me he loved me. He sincerely apologized but still... there better be flowers on the counter when I get home!!!
Damn hormones, I usually not a sobbing mess.
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Re: There better be flowers on the counter when I get home!
I hope there are flowers on the counter when you get home, too.
I think a lot of men, even those who end up being amazing fathers, have trouble dealing with the emotions they experience during pregnancy. They are often more stressed and irritable than usual - I think it's just a reaction to their (understandable) anxiety.
Sounds like he is really sorry. Hopefully he will work on some new coping strategies for his stress. Good luck!
Don't worry, you are not the only one. DH and I had one of these fights on Sunday. In his defense, he works the night shift and he has been working a ridiculous amount of overtime lately. On top of that, it was Labor Day weekend last year when his mom had a stroke as a result of her brain cancer and had to be hospitalized....she died four months later. So he has had that on his mind plus he feels like all he does is sleep and work. BUT that is no excuse for the way he yelled at me on Sunday morning after church. He had been acting distant and weird, so I casually asked him what was wrong. He said nothing but continued to give me the silent treatment. I told him maybe he should stay home that afternoon instead of going to our church group meeting, and he just blew up at me. I know he just needed to get all that frustration out, but he really hurt my feelings in the process with the ridiculous things he said. Ten minutes later, he was fine and apologizing, while I was still crying uncontrollably. It took me all afternoon to get over it. I went to my parents house and visiting with them helped tremendously. That evening he apologized again and we did go to our meeting together. This morning he surprised me by bringing home flowers for me "just because." He hasn't done that since we were dating!
I hate it when we fight, but I am glad it doesn't happen often and I appreciate that he made it right.
I think men have no concept of what we are going through. I got into with H over the weekend after he made a comment about my taking too long to get the laundry done and being tired. This of course pissed my off and had me doing things I shouldn't be, triggered my vertigo and basically had me upset.
He apologized and admitted that he was frustrated about things. He also admitted that while he was frustrated he had no right to take it out on me.
Ok, so no flowers were on the counter BUT he explained...
He said, " I didn't get you flowers because I wanted to say sorry to both you and baby. Baby can't see the flowers but baby can taste this!" As he pulls out a turtle slice from cheesecake factory out of the fridge!!!
Haha!