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Totoro1979
member
Bitting at daycare- how much is enough?
Totoro1979
member
My LO keeps getting bitten at daycare. Last week it was twice and this week it has happened once. For awhile there it was at least 1 bite every week. It was one particular child who was doing the biting (they are now separated) but now it seems like we have a whole room of bitters. The daycare says that they try and keep all the bitters to one side of the room. I know that at their age they can't communicate well and bitting is a form of communication for them. However, I'm trying to decide if this is normal or is the daycare just being negligent- are they really watching the kids as close as they should?
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Re: Bitting at daycare- how much is enough?
I'm having a similar problem..but with scratchers! My baby has been scratched twice by the same kid, and there is only two of them in the room.
What is the kid/adult ratio in the room?
You also might ask what their policy is on biting. Some places have a two bite rule. If the child bites twice they are asked to leave.
Really?! If that was the case, my kids daycare would have no students. FWIW, he goes to a very good daycare with caring, observant teachers....but toddlers without verbal skills will bite. No matter what. My son has had reports sent home about him biting other kids and he has had reports sent home about him being bitten or pushed or scratched. Kids are learning how to communicate their desires and frustrations...I think it is just about the age. As soon as they get more verbal, the biting will stop. At least that has been my experience.
As a side note, I had never been more proud of my son when I got a bite report from school a few months ago. Another student came up to Joe's cousin (who is in his class w him) and snatched a toy she was playing with away from her, causing her to cry. Joe went up to that kid and bit him. Awww, he was protecting his cousin!! So cute.....and it so happened to teach the little toy-snatcher a lesson.
Okay, maybe I am a negligent parent for being proud of that scenario....but I am ;-)
How old was the kid who bit him? I think that matters - an 18-month old shouldn't be in a class with a 7-month old.
Avery was quite the bully and I got enough notes sent home that I had major anxiety over it. The daycare she was at was even kind enough to save some hair she pulled out of a kids head to show me (a$$holes).
Joseph isn't so much of a bully (at least from what they say), but he has been bitten quite a bit in his class lately (like 3 times in a week).
I chalk it up to them just being kids. I see J and A go at each other all the time - almost non-stop. She body slammed in WWF style last night before DH or I could even get across the room.
Pics by Fleurish Imagery
I couldn't agree with ya more.
Also, look at it another way. It may actually be your child doing the instigating and the other children just reacting with biting. I know DD gets all the other kids at school riled up and I am just waiting until one of them lashes back at her, lol.
Luckily we haven't had too many reports on DS being bitten so I really don't know at what point I would say enough was enough. I think it is something kids in that age range are going to do. I agree with the bolded too b/c once DH did say something to the director after DS had been bitten a few times (he wasn't too mad just curious to see how they handle it with the biter) and they told him that DS was the one that instigated that bite.
ReadyforBaby - I wonder who the biter is? Joseph has been bit quite a bit. I know he has picked up on some bully tactics from Avery, but I don't think he is a biter.
Pics by Fleurish Imagery
Maybe Shaharsh? I don't even know if he is still in the same room I just overheard one of the teachers saying he is the one that gave Isla a bad bite.
I know of two centers that have a two bite rule. Not sure how enforced it is.
All the biters? How many biters do they have?
Some biting is normal. I really feel it is how the daycare handles the situation that makes the difference.
One thing that I insist on is keeping the groups smaller. At one point, our daycare merged two groups. Technically, the ratio of students to teachers was acceptable. However, having 20 people together causes tension, no matter how much oversight. Another parent and I insisted they break up these groups. Once they did, the behaviors we were most concerned about stopped.
When you say multiple biters, I'm wondering about the size of your group or other stress factors.
In our experience, the daycare took biting to mean some children were stressed. Small changes in the group can alleviate those feelings and make the children stop biting. Isolating biters is only one card in the deck, it seems.
Good luck.
I would say that is a normal ratio and I would be pleased with 3 teachers. At this age, it just happens. My worst fear was to meet with the Director about it and the next day I get the report the MY kid bit
Unfortunately my "always happy" baby is now a biter. I had to sign an incident report, it is mortifying, but there is nothing I can do. He does not talk, so he bites. I wrote an apology note.
Although it did make me wonder if he is unhappy there with extra 6 after-school kids (it is at-home care) and additional adults .. So I am hoping that once he gets used to the situation he will be better and pray every day that he does not bite anyone else.